The sky is grey. Always grey. Never anything but grey. I start my same grey journey by walking down the sidewalk. I walk, one foot at a time pounding on the man-made earth that was created for grey people like me. Life is grey. I walk the same pitiful streets for as long as I can remember.  I talk to the same people every day, I even go to the same classes every day with no buffer in between. My friends tell me to look for the good things. To find the color. To find what’s worth living for. My best friend always tries to tell me, The sun is shining above us. The trees are blooming and giving away their sweet scent to the fortunate people that walk by. People live for only this time that you call grey. I don’t see the light. I don’t see the color.

With every step I take, the life slid off the tips of my fingers on to the cold ground like the condensation slipping off the side of a cup. The sky has never been so grey. It will never get lighter. The grey life. The grey life that drives by. Never stops. Even for me. Never stops. For nobody. The life that I live is killing me slowly, day by day. My life didn’t have any personality. It shoved me into the ground and turned me into dust blending into the newly conformed world. I was once colorful. I used to look at the world as other people did. With such as positive manner, I used to live with colors. I lived a life where the sun shined, rising little by little, like people in the morning; and as the sun shined and rose, I would shine as bright as it did, leaving a gleaming smile into the glassy eyes of everybody who crossed my path. I used to create my own light. Once I got to class, I sat down in a cold hard chair. I look at the bright gleaming smiles that everyone put upon their faces to show others just how perfect, how amazing, and how wonderful they can be. I looked to the side and found one that didn’t. It stuck out slightly. Stuck out like I did. The face that was scarcely showing any warmth reminded me of someone. Someone I knew better than anyone. Better than I wanted to. I saw the grey. I saw the same contraindication for color. She showed the same grey as I felt. She was grey, just a little bit less than me. I don’t want to be grey anymore. I don’t even know how to conceal myself anymore. I will always be grey. Hiding. Hiding the colors trying to burst out of me. There’s not hope anymore for the upcoming minutes of my life. Another person sat next to me. He had blonde hair and a small shaped nose that fit perfectly on his freckled face. He was not grey. He was the opposite of grey. Opposite of what all I knew anymore. Grey. He had color. He took out a notebook. These black letters filled the top corner of the notebook. Zachary. He turned over, hey what’s up? I’m Zach. The beautiful notes filled up the empty spaces of my ears. His sound fed my mind the color that it’s been wanting. The color that I needed. Needed to continue. No more grey.

Hey, nothing what’s up with you? I’m Quinn. I replied. I replied with these unfamiliar colors. Colors that escaped out of my mouth. Colors that I didn’t expect to come out. Colors that were now notes sent in the universe. My face was no longer the same color as the sidewalks. The grey started to leave. The grey eventually disappeared. The grey melted on to the ground creating a puddle of colorless liquid and the color filled each crevice in my body. I felt a new feeling in my bones. It was something different. It was something I couldn’t explain. Almost like beautiful pink butterflies flying in my stomach giving me laughter and curiosity. This is new. Zach started some more small talk and I just listened to him, occasionally replying to keep the conversation going. No more grey. After the class ended, he got up and left me packing up for my next class.

I am colorful. Color. Color entered my body and created a shining sun inside the center of my body, gleaming and extending its hands to heal me of the grey. I felt a joy that was untouched for so many years. I was free. No more denying myself color. He left me happier than I felt in a long time but, he also left me with questions. I don’t understand how he brought the color out of me. I don’t know what to do. Color. Color was entering my personality again. Color was starting to enter my soul. No more grey. I got home and sat on my bed. Watching. Watching the fan. Watching it go back and forth, blowing gusts of air from its blades to the floor collapsing against my body and dispersing to the areas surrounding me. Pondering. Pondering the day. Pondering my life. Pondering. I didn’t understand why I felt so amazing. My mind started to get clouded with many thoughts and worries. Clouded with ideas and memories never to be forgotten. It was my reawakening. I am who I am. I am a gleaming sun of happiness that can be who I want to be no matter what thoughts are streaming from someone else’s head into the atmosphere only to cause hurt in mine.

I fell asleep. I even started dreaming. I was dreaming about meeting someone new. Someone that I would have never seen before. Someone that filled a void. Someone that made me smile. That made me grin from ear to ear. That made me happy. I was happy. I woke up. I woke up to the same fan. The same fan blowing air. I got up and got ready. I was, for once, excited to go to school. I said my goodbyes to my family as I walked swiftly out the door.

Grey. The grey sidewalks weren’t so grey anymore. The sky wasn’t so grey anymore. No more grey. The world was different. Familiar but different. I could faintly remember the last time I felt so alive, so comfortable while walking to school or walking anywhere. 4 years, I say to myself. I finally was able to feel after so long of being numb. Numb towards the world. It was a rush of feeling with every step I put into the earth.

I sat down for class. Zach came up to me again and sat. Hey what’s up? Zach said. Nothing much what’s up with you? Quinn replied. I showed a huge smile. The same smile that came upon my face yesterday. The same colorful smile. We talked the whole class period. It was like Zach and I were the only ones in the room. It felt like we connected instantly. After class, I started shining more colors. More colors that flooded my body. I started to accept why I got so happy when I talked to him. I was happy. Happy as anyone can get. I felt nervous for what was to come but still, happy. No more grey.