Dear Freshman Me,

Hi! It’s me, future you! Good news, we’ve made it to senior year with most of our sanity in tact. Life is pretty good right now, but the journey here is one heck of a roller coaster, so strap in and hold on tight. There will be a lot of changes coming your way, and at the time, it will feel awful, and you’ll want to quit and go back to your introverted shell. Don’t. Every obstacle you face, tackle it head on and don’t second guess yourself. The person that will come out on the other side will surprise you.

First thing: school gets harder. Pretty soon, you will hit the wall, and you will hit it hard. You will hit the wall over and over again, harder and harder. You’ll cry, you’ll scream into the empty living room, you’ll stress yourself out until you feel like you can’t breathe. It sucks and always will suck, but in the long run, it’s making you into a stronger person. Accept your failures, pick yourself up, learn from them, and move on. Figure out another way to get around the wall. You’ll have to ask for help, admit to your faults, come out of your shell, and embrace the awkwardness. It will be agonizing but worth it when you are able to climb over the wall and be better prepared for the next one you encounter. This may come as a shock to you now, but when you get a C on a test, life doesn’t end, the world doesn’t explode, the universe doesn’t burn. Teachers don’t expect you to ace your tests anymore and half the time, they aren’t expecting A’s either. They want to see you struggle and rise up to the occasion. It is the worst thing in the world at the time and incredibly frustrating when you walk out of a test not being able to grasp what the heck happened. But the worst thing is, that is exactly what the real world is. No study guides and nothing but curveballs. So looking down the road, what they are doing is benefiting you when you’re prepared for the life that comes after school is done.

As far as our skating life is concerned, I’ve got news for you kid, you aren’t the next big thing. You never were headed to the Olympics or anything huge like that. Right now, you’re starting to realize this and it seems that you’re officially over the peak of your career and are running out of steam. It’s frustrating and it’s awful as you watch kids four years younger than you pass you in all competitive aspects and you realize that if you had just left the last skating club a few months ahead of time, you could be at the same level they are. But that’s not the way life played out and you can’t change the past, despite how much you want to. You went from winning every competition without ‘if’s’ or ‘buts,’ and now you’re here, competing with the bare minimum jumps, going into competitions knowing there is no hope for a gold. Well, let me give you some good news in all of this, there is hope. In a year, a door will open just slightly, and you will  stand up and take the opportunity. You’ll have to struggle and make yourself uncomfortable. It will be incredibly stressful and nerve wracking at first, but the places you’ll go, the titles you will earn, the friends you will make. By the time you’ve wasted a bottle of conditioner trying to unknot your hair that's been ratted to oblivion, the black and white swirls have been taken off your exhausted face, and you’ve wiggled out of the dresses without breaking the zipper, you won’t believe the person that remains. You will achieve all your hopes and dreams, not necessarily in the way you always planned, but when has sticking to the plan ever been fun. So, although now, skating might make you miserable as you watch your friends surpass you, buckle down for a little longer, and all the dreams from the early years will come true.

Finally, to make the most of the years to come, learn to be alright with yourself and step outside the box a bit. Everytime you walk down the halls or step on the ice, you tend to let the inner critic take the wheel as you see everybody as your competition in some way, shape, or form. But that’s not true at all. You were never born to be incredibly flexible like Jessica, stick-skinny like Jasmine, or artistic like Lauren. No, you were born to be strong. You can haul ass girl! You are a beast in the best possible way, and you need to understand that your legs were built to jump and shove; that’s not something twigish legs can do. Be okay with yourself, build and your confidence, and you will be amazed with the places it will take you places. Also, embrace your geekiness. Don’t be afraid to pull out the fandom references and take those perfect movie moment to relate real life to. You’re weird and that's perfect. Once you can do all of this, and be comfortable with yourself, you can step outside your box and test the boundaries. Newsflash - everybody is awkward. Everybody is insecure in some way, shape, or form. You’re not alone in being paranoid. But do yourself a favor, and make yourself uncomfortable once in a while. You might be miserable at the start, asking yourself ‘why am I doing this?’ But before you know it, the awful feeling goes away and you will be having an amazing time. The experiences that will come from pushing yourself outside of your little world can’t be paralleled and you will have more fun, make more friends, and see the world in ways you could ever imagine.

As I sit here reading this at the end of our road, I know that for where you are, all of this advice sounds unreasonable. It might seem daunting and a lot of the experiences coming down the pipe will test your will, but if you stick with it and allow yourself to go with the flow, everything will turn out alright.  When life gives you lemons, get creative. And remember, regardless of what happens, the world keeps spinning.

Yours truly,

Isabel

Senior You