I can't explain my sadness. There are people who suffer greater than I ever will. I am lucky, there's no doubt about that. I have everything I could possibly want. Food, a family, a house, a phone, clothes. I don't have an unstable family and I'm not in an abusive relationship. I've never had a life-threatening disease and I've never been discriminated against. 

But I am still sad.

It bears down on me like the heavens weighed down Atlas. The lack of knowledge, a lack of a boy that likes me and is truthful about liking me. I have friends, but outside of school they rarely reach out just to talk and just to say hi. I know they love me, and I know I will find someone that is honest,

But I am impatient.

There is no way to explain the world, a reason for existence, a point in living. We are tinier than an atom in comparison to the rest of the universe. I don't know the answers and the smartest people in the world don't know the answers. We learn about why we're able to survive here, and how our bodies function. We're able to determine emotions and instincts. But what determined that existence? 

Everyone tells me to enjoy life while it lasts,

But I want answers.

I wrote this on a rough day and I've determined that it kind of defines me as a whole. It feels nice to get it out there and to accept that that's how I feel. Thanks for reading