For the first -

You were there for me in the very beginning. You were by my side as I entered into the world - tiny and frail, utterly defenseless. You were there to protect me, to hold me, to care for me.

But as the inch markings on my wall crept closer and closer towards the ceiling, you only felt further and further away. I would try to reach out for you, only to get pushed back in. Pushed back into my room, hiding under the safe covers, escaping your words.

I can still hear your deep and powerful voice echoing through the walls, your eyes piercing me with disapproval. The other one in the house was always put on a pedestal, always being awarded the gold medal, while I fell short every time. 

I don’t hear your voice anymore. I no longer have to hide away from you - or anything. For years, you hurt me. Your words caused me pain - like knives piercing my skin over and over again. You didn’t protect me, you hurt me. You didn’t hold me when I was sad, you pushed me away. You didn’t care about me, you only cared for yourself.

I do not love you. 

I do not love you, but I thank you. You caused me to search for happiness and love within myself. Your years of pain and shame led me to a future of joy and positivity. And I hope that someday you can find the same future for yourself.

Thank you.

For the second - 

You were unexpected. You looked at me with those ocean blue eyes like you couldn’t see anything else in the world. You made me smile that big dumb smile of mine.

At first, I was unsure of you. You are hard to read, and to understand. But you opened up to me. For a moment you let me see a part of you that no one else got to see. And in this moment, I realized -

I loved you. 

I loved how your face lit up when you saw me. I loved that little smile of yours when I could make you laugh. I loved how you were protective over the ones you loved. I loved that even in the dark moments, you never doubted me. And I never doubted you.

As time went by though, I noticed how your face no longer seemed as bright. Your little smile was only in the teeth, no longer in the eyes. I felt you falling out of my reach, breaking away from me. And as you broke away from me, I broke apart.

I thought I’d never lose you - but you were always unexpecting.

I miss being in your warm embrace, where I always felt safe and protected. I miss having someone who cared and loved me - not because they had to, but because they wanted to.

I don’t love you anymore.

But I will never forget. You brought me more joy and happiness than anyone else has been able to. You taught me what it felt like to be loved, and what it was like to love. 

And for that, I thank you.

For the third -

You are my little bundle of joy. You make every time you see me seem like it’s the first time. You are warm, and inviting, and beautiful.

The first time I saw you, I knew you were special. You jumped up and down for joy as I stepped out of the small car, and immediately rushed over to you. I remember seeing you smile that day, and I was smiling right back. 

You came into my life when I wasn’t feeling loved. But the beauty in you is that your love is unwavering and unconditional. 

You’ve seen me at my worst. I come to you in my pajamas, tears streaming down my face, unable to form words or thoughts. But you stick by me, and you hold me until my tears have dried and a smile has returned to my face.

So much of my life was void of joy and optimism. But you - that is all you are. You have no bad intentions; there’s not an evil bone in your body. You are pure and kind, and for that - 

I love you.

I love you unconditionally. I love how you run to see me. I love how you cuddle up next to me when your eyes grow heavy. I even love when you beg and beg for attention. Because even in these moments, I know that everything you do is out of love and wanting to be loved.

You have taught me to just be happy. You have taught me to live, and to not worry about the little things. You brighten up my day each and every day, and for that, I am forever thankful. Never stop smiling little boy.

Thank you.