This is what I know so far: My racial identity and my cultural experiences have had a big impact on me. I know that because I am “mixed,” on the outside people see a Puerto Rican girl but on the inside I'm really a Black girl. I know which family members I can count on. I know my sister, Tatiana, will encourage me to keep going when I want to give up on my African American Lit. paper. I know my community. I know that the best enchiladas are at Los Tres Latinos, two streets away from my house. I know that I'm good with children. I know that I have the patience needed to calm and distract my baby brother when he is having a meltdown because I won't let him play with scissors.

  These are the things in my life that I know and am comfortable with so far. But I wonder about all the things I don't know yet. How do I know what I want to do for the rest of my life? Do I want to stay in Rochester? Do I want to only work with kids? What do I need to do to expand my world?

  Soon I will be 18 years old and I will have lived in the same community my whole life. The only time I have been out of Rochester was to visit family in New York City. We didn't go to Times Square or the Empire State Building. We just stayed at my Aunt Kathyś house in the Bronx. I haven't visited a warm state, ridden in a boat, flown on a plane, or visited another country. I would love to go to Jamaica, Florida, and Hawaii. I want to feel the warm sun and a cool breeze coming off the clean blue water. I want to walk on the white sand and lie on a hammock between two palm trees. I want to spend a day in Disney World and Universal Studios. It would be nice to see what life is like in a bigger city. There would be more people, more activities, and more chances to try new things.

  So, what's holding me back? What's keeping me here? What am I afraid of? One important reason is me depending on my mom. I am also very close to my sister that lives here as well as the rest of my family. I also hate to leave my younger siblings, especially my baby brother. We have such a close bond and losing that would crush my heart. I am comfortable where I am right now. The idea of leaving everyone and everything I know to go out to the unknown is scary. Me and my mom are starting to bump heads because I want to be more independent but I'm still dependent on her. I still need her and my family as a support system. My biggest fear is being alone and not having that support system.

  Someday when I am ready to step out of my comfort zone, I really want to try new things. I might start small. For example, the next time we visit my Aunty Kathy, I will go into the city and go to Times Square. I might reach out to one of my friends who lives in Texas to see if I can come for a visit. After I get a job and save enough money, I will plan a trip to Disney with my younger siblings. Maybe after I do a few of these things I will be ready to make a big move to a warmer state. Right now, I am not ready, but someday I am going to push myself out of my comfort zone and expand my world.