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A Lifetime of Regret
There is an instant where the sense of right fades.
Where emotions cloud judgment and lead to mistakes.
Mistakes that can never be taken back.
It is only for a moment, a fraction of time,
yet in that time the chains of restraint break loose,
uncaging the green-eyed monster that lurks inside.
An instant decision, like a being possessed,
I forget who I am for a moment and in that short time,
I make a mistake that I will truly regret.
The green-eyed monster laughs, for I can’t keep him at bay,
and my finger presses the button that will seal my fate.
In just one moment, I have made a terrible mistake.
Later I realize my mistake; however, there is no going back.
I have broken something that I can’t fix: my friend’s trust.
I fear what may come next, hoping to stop the inevitable.
So like a coward I hide the truth, I lie, I feign ignorance.
But it was all for not, just a fool’s plea.
Since I couldn’t control the green-eyed monster, I acted.
Since I could not face my actions, I hid and lied.
Since I hid the truth, I never told him how sorry I was.
I never told him how much our friendship meant to me.
And now, I will never have the chance.
The green-eyed monster cackles, for he knows I am to blame.
For a moment’s decision, leads me to a lifetime of regret.
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This piece is about how I broke the trust of a friend when I was in middle school, and how I felt and still feel about what I did.