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Just a Wish
Dear Dad,
I wish you could have been around more.
I wish you got to come to my games and see me play.
I wish you got to see me on my first day of school every year.
I wish you weren't so far away.
I wish you were there for all of my birthdays. I wish you made me feel special like mom does. For my 16th birthday I was at your house. For my 17th birthday, I made sure I wasn’t at your house. You made me feel like it was your birthday. I cried because no one said happy birthday until later in the night, you made me go to work because it was a holiday weekend and I would “make a lot of money”.
I wish we could still go hunting together. That was the only time you and I got to just sit and spend time together. Sitting and trying to hold back all of our laughter over the weirdest things. You giving me “the look” when I kept laughing. You trying to make sure I was warm enough. The time that the tree stand almost collapsed beneath us. But now you say Im too old to hunt with you. I wish I wasn’t. I wish I was still your little Nutters.
I wish that Grandpa didn’t have to be my dad. I am happy he can be—but I wish it was you.
I wish I could see you when I miss you.
I wish you didn’t put me in the middle. I wish you didn’t get mad at me when you’re mad at my mom. I wish you didn’t make us believe things that aren’t true. I wish that you didn’t make everything about money. I wish you could just sit and spend time with me.
I wish you were still my hero.
I wish you didn’t have to find an excuse every time I want you to come to something. I wish you weren't always busy.
I wish you would think of me instead of yourself. But you don’t. You don’t really think of many people. But someday we won’t both be on the Earth together and I will wish I spent more time with you.
Please, I ask that you just think about this next time that I want you to be here.
-Love, Brea
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