“Can we please get a puppy? Everyone has one!” I begged my parents as someone walked their golden retriever across the street.

“Syukurlah,” my dad would reply.

You might think he is saying the word “chocolate” in French. Well, I wish it was. But this is what it actually means: “Syukur”- a word in Malay for gratitude. “Lah”- a slang word in Malay for “please”.

It is a funny Malay saying that we use to tease our friends and family when they wish for things they don’t have. Even though many Malaysians don’t live a luxurious life, they always make the most out of it and appreciate what they have by enjoying the gorgeous beaches, the crystal-clear sea, the creamy durians, the adorable orangutans, and summer all year long, where we get to swim as much as we want. This is syukurlah. 

When I used to live in China, I would travel to Malaysia twice a year. My grandparents and cousins live in the city, so whenever I visit, I have the luxury to visit one of my favorite places in the world within a two minute drive: the seven-story malls with more than a thousand stores blasting with air-conditioning. You cannot imagine the feeling of relief when you step into the mall after sweating under the 95 degree weather outside for hours. The capital is also home to the tallest twin tower and the second tallest building in the world. I should be grateful to come from such a magnificent place, or should I say, have “syukur”.

But the thing is: Beautiful oceans and tall buildings don’t always make me feel grateful. I have everything I need, yet a ton of things I don’t need.

I don’t need ten pairs of shoes. I just need one pair to survive. But I do have ten pairs of shoes, because naturally, I like to have what I don’t need. “Syukurlah,” my mom would say, “some people have to walk on bare feet!” 

I don’t absolutely need twenty tops, five shorts, three skirts, and seven dresses. “Syukurlah,” my dad would remind me, “Look at your closet! Some people have to wrap leaves around their body as clothes!” That would convince me to stop buying clothes for a while. But honestly, I would forget about the lesson he taught me in two days and start shopping again. That is something I have to work on. To have “syukur” for the things I have.

But sometimes we can have the shoes and the tops. We deserve to do that for ourselves just simply to be happy. It doesn’t make you a horrible person…it makes you human. There’s no way we can all be selfless. We can do both at the same time- being grateful and being kind to ourselves. 

I believe in “Syukur”. This is why I say “thank you” after someone does something nice for me. I mean, we all do that. This is why I place the twenty dollar bill in someone’s can on the street. This is why my dad donated money for the Earthquake in Turkey, the war in Ukraine, and blood to the ill. This is why my brother sold chocolate to raise money for children with cancer. 

I had a hard time thinking of what I should write for this essay. Should I write about my love for piano and basketball? Moving to a new house every three years of my life? Loss? Getting hit by a motorcycle?

That’s when I realized that all of these life experiences make up my fourteen years that I’m so grateful for. 

This is when I decided to write about “Syukurlah”. This is me.