Looking back on my early years, life was straightforward. I played with friends, hung out with family, and did all the little things that make childhood great. However, as I matured, I saw myself in a darker place. The seed for improvement was planted in a brief moment during this period.  
  
Our minds work in a peculiar manner. It is as if, when all seems well, we purposely conjure problems, squeezing them out of our idealized scenarios. Witnessing people achieve their dream lives yet remain trapped in misery is a curious phenomenon. I also became a victim of this at a young age, struggling to find joy in anything, feeling a crippling emptiness from within. Now, I understand that this suffocating feeling was a creation of my mind, and no amount of possessions or sympathy could have diminished it.  
 
Despite the love surrounding me, I exhibited hostility towards those who cared for me. I could not believe nor accept their affection. My mind and soul were stained by dreadful, gloomy thoughts like a dark cloud wilting me. The reasons for these emotions were unclear to me. 
  
Talking to your younger self is a concept people have cherished for a long time. I think a dialogue between me, and my younger self would go along the lines of:  
"How are you?" I would ask. 
"I'm all right," he would mutter, devoid of enthusiasm.  
"But I know you're not; you don't have to lie to yourself. You're not all right; you simply think you are because you don't know why." 
"Why, what?" 
"Why you're the way you are—very sad, anxious, and hostile to everyone. No one and nothing else is causing this to you. You're harming yourself." 
"I'm not harming myself; why would I? Besides, how could I be harming myself?" he would say rudely, annoyed and thinking he knew better. 
"You're on the right track. Keep asking that question, and you'll get the answer eventually." I would leave my younger self with a question for an answer, I find that much more interesting. 
  
Fortunately, I found help during this period of overwhelming sadness, spending countless hours online, particularly on YouTube (which I now realize was part of the problem). I vividly remember myself in a Spanish hotel room, while the only light visible was the one coming from my favorite ornament. Toying with it, I stumbled upon a community that resonated with my struggles, and they had certainly vanquished them. They delved into beliefs deeply etched in my mind, explaining my situation in ways I had never considered before. These were not random individuals, but people directing me toward knowledge, planting in my mind thoughts that later on would bloom and ultimately shape my reality. 
  
I admitted that my mind and body had grown feeble, with no one other to blame than me. I grasped the notion that a troubled mind hinders the ability to enjoy anything, while a healthy one can derive joy from everything. Letting go of my ego, I was determined to transform my life, pivot in a new direction, and start fresh. Rising requires acknowledgment of the fall. 
 
With discipline on my side, I was encouraged to set ambitious goals, cultivate better habits, and sustain them over time. I ceased pursuing pleasures through mindless consumption of content, indulging in sugary foods, and squandering time on shallow activities. I devoted myself to becoming better, bearing in mind our ineptitude to be utterly “good”. I embraced reading, exercise, and mindfulness in my actions. The books I immersed myself in guided me throughout this transformation. 
  
This process of reconstruction was far from easy. Letting go of old habits and beliefs presented an exceptionally hard challenge, yet mastering this skill was of utmost importance. A skill rooted in the ability to shed your former self. I encountered obstacles along the way, but as time passed, I witnessed changes for the better. I learned that by refining my mind and body, I could confront any obstacle that crossed my path. 
 
During this period, I have built a solid foundation for myself. If all went well when I had nothing to lose, I would have grown up with a career or family at stake that I would not be able to protect. I’d be devoid of any experience. I have learned the path to getting better while risking nothing. The means I employ to address minor challenges today will undoubtedly translate into how I handle immense ones in the future; it is the same mind, after all. I have been working on mastering my mind and body, and life is good again. I am grateful for all.