“I can forgive but I can’t forget.” Henry Ward Beecher

I was twelve when I asked my father to give up his parental rights towards me. I knew what I was doing. I had my reasons and I do not regret my decision, nor consider it a mistake.

The judge ruled that I would only visit my father for four hours every other Saturday at a SAFE House. A SAFE House is a program where parents would be able to visit their children under the supervision of a police officer and head advisors. I never knew what the reasons were that I would have to see him in a SAFE House. The only thing I knew was that the reasons weren’t good. It was when I became older, that I noticed the changes in him. He was always lying. It was little things, from the amount of money he had on Monopoly to lying about how my friend cheated in hide and seek.

But then it became uncontrollable. He would not stop, and the little white lies became bigger. I would catch him lying and point it out to him, but he would be oblivious. Visit after visit I would dread seeing him. I saw no point in ever visiting him. I would always cry and complain about having to visit him, and I was not happy. I might have been twelve, but I knew that something about him wasn’t right. I knew he had a problem, and I knew that there was no point in trying to help people like him. But I wanted to help him, he wasn’t just any person, he was my father. How was I supposed to help him? I knew that I couldn’t make him stop lying, but was there a way? I was a child, and he had a problem. Was there a way?

I knew that there was no way. I wanted nothing to do with him. I no longer wanted anything to do with him, and I no longer knew him as my father, but the person that I was forced to visit every other Saturday for four hours, by the government. He could not change, even if he tried. It was then that I made a decision about what I was going to do about it. I pulled him and a head advisor aside of the SAFE house and I told him, “Go get help, get a doctor, get a better job on your own, and give up your parental rights towards me.” He cried. He almost made me regret my decision, but I knew that it was fake tears. I cried for hours into my pillow when I went home that day. To this day I do not regret my decision. I have grown from this. Asking your father to give up his parental rights towards you is not an easy decision and he did not have my trust. This whole situation was just a pothole on the road of my life.

I’ve had my ups and downs throughout my life but I am very lucky to have what I have and I have my family to thank for that, especially my loving grandparents and my mom. I have learned that I cannot trust everyone, trust is a touchy issue with me, and it takes a lot to gain my trust.