I don't know how else to explain it other that I think I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy because I see someone who’s not only dead, but now I'm not even sure if she was ever real? I have this memory, of when I was a kid, walking home from school with my sister. She was a year older than me but we were "twins" even though we looked nothing a like either. So we were just walking, and we walked down this street. These guys came up, but it was dark out and they didn't see my sister. They tried to get at me; one of them grabbed me and pulled me into their van. My sister, Emily, could have gotten away without any problems, but she came after me.
The men were tearing off my clothes and their own at the same time, and Emily tried to pull one away. He backhanded her so hard she fell to the ground nearly unconscious. Blood dripped from her mouth as he threw her in the van as well and then came back to the others; to me. Their hands were all over me and I didn't know what to do, I was a kid, I hardly knew what was going on. One man took off my pants and slid his hands beneath my underwear, and moved his fingers in a funny way. At first I was confused. "What is he trying to do?" I thought. But then with one last shove of his fingers it became blatantly clear.
I looked at their faces; I recognized them. They were the men who had been selling drugs down the street when I told on them. "How did they know it was me?" I thought. But it didn't matter. I looked over at my half-conscious sister to see that two of the men were having their way with her. I started to scream but they just got rougher, they just got more violent.
It went on for hours. In the back of that filthy van, blocks away from home. When they finally finished we were both bleeding out of places I didn't know bled, and they threw us to the ground outside of where they parked. As we hit the ground the sped off so fast it left skid marks on the street and the smell of burning rubber lingered in the air. I looked over to Emily and I saw her once flawless skin was cut and scratched. Chunks of raven black hair were missing from her head, and she was soaking in her own blood. I remember on the men muttering something like “You should have behaved.” When they threw us out, but I thought he had meant me because I told on him.
I saw the stab wound on her side and went to support her as we walked the rest of the way home. Sneaking in through the back door we went down the basement steps and hide underneath them. I tried to help her patch it up, but her skin was pale and her eyes distant. She told me it was useless, she told me to go, and I didn’t want to. After a moment I listened to her though; and running up the stairs I left her alone in the dark to bleed.
No body was found, my parents didn’t notice a change, and my brother was oblivious. Was I the only one who knew she was gone? My dear Emily, my missing sister, was I the only one who knew? And I swear I still see her now, she’s not alive, but it’s like she haunts me or something. Can ghosts or spirits or whatever you call them, can they age? Because she’s still my twin sister who remains a year older than me. She still has those same fierce emerald green eyes, but her skin is a pale translucent white now. Am I crazy? The memories seem so real, I just can’t tell, but if I’m the only one who remembers, doesn’t that mean I have to be crazy?
She died in my place, she’s gone because of me, and I just left her alone in the dark to bleed.