It is tough losing someone. It's hard and quite arguably the worst pain felt in the world. You can't imagine the pain, the blow, losing someone brings. You have no idea how hard it is to swallow your troubles, and try to go on in life. I am not saying you are going to feel this way forever, eventually time mends that piece of you that says your missing something. You have to feel it for a while. An empty place in your heart for the one that has left you. Somehow you have to cope for your family and their sake. Some people shut themselves off from the world, they allow no one in. I am not like that, but I understand it. For sometimes you lose your best friend. First, a wave of guilt fills your head as if you could have escaped your life. You wish you could have gone to that person one more time and it kills you inside. I am not sure how fast it kills you but I know it is not your fault. There was nothing you could have done. You loved him, you cherished him. That's all that could help him move on. It was his time to go he had lived a happy, healthy life, he made you a man. Of course you still love him. How could you not? I just wished he knew it wasn't his fault and nothing could have been done. In the end, in the end love is always enough.