When I was younger, I used to feel really self-conscious because I wasn’t fully asian or fully white either. I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere, as if I was some sort of quasi-human. I always felt like an outsider between two worlds.
I always kind of resented my parents. I desperately wanted to look like I fit in somewhere. I always thought that beauty meant conventional beauty. So, as I was unconventional, I never considered myself particularly attractive. I longed to look like anyone but me for so long. But, guess what? I think I’m kind of beautiful. I might not be the prettiest person, with huge eyes and perfect hair and skin or whatever else might define this beauty, but I like the way I look.
It wasn’t until very recently (as in this year) that I had learned to embrace both parts of who I am. I am not half asian and half white; I am a full other. I love my contrasting ethnicities and I’m damn proud of who I am.