I hate being like this. No, correction- I hate feeiling this. I can't stand waking up every morning feeling so sad I can barely get dressed. I'm sick of going to school and trying to convince my friends I'm fine, of having to force myself to pay attention in class and to not sick of what my dad did. Of how he tore my family apart, of how he made my mom cry. I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to feel so hopeless.

No, I want to dance around the house again until I'm so tired I can't breathe. I want to talk with my mom without her asking why I'm always so sad. I need to be able to live my life without worrying when the next time I'll break down in tears will be. I want to be able to concentrate in class, want to get good grades again. Why can't I have that? How did I let myself fall so quickly?

It's almost like I'm in a hole that I can't escape from. Or maybe a nightmare where I just don't wake up. The monsters keep chasing me, and I keep running, but someone they start to catch up. I don't want to know what happens when they catch me. My only option is to fight them. Fight them so I can be happy again.

So I can be normal again.