He always knew how to enter my mind, even now that he's gone. I thought I was over loving him. I thought the pain had subsided and things would go back to normal. But right when I think everything's better, his face reappears in my head. The way his dark brown hair fell over his eyes; the way his deep hazel eyes sparkled when he smiled at me. I believed he had feelings for me as well, but that was only a fantasy. A made up story that I told myself was true over and over again. I thought it had ended.
Now I'm seventeen, and I haven't seen him in 3 years. I try to push him out of my thoughts and think of something, anything else. But it's just no use. He's always there, either pushing his way into the front of my mind or slinking back into the deep recesses of it. I'll never get rid of him. I can't. With every fiber of my being, I just can't let him go. I sometimes still believe he'll come back, that he'll see me and realize what he missed out on. That he'll fall for me like I fell for him. But what do I know? I was just one fourteen year old girl who decided to give love a try on the wrong guy. Or is he really the one?
All I can do is sit here and write about him. I need to get him out of my head some way, and this seems to be working. I know God has the right one for me, I just haven't met him yet. Or have I? Could he possibly be the one I fell for all those years ago? Or could it be someone I know now at school? For all I know, it could be some guy I passed on the street! I really don't want to think about it anymore. I just want to smile at what I had and move on to what I will have. Like I said, he could be the one. But maybe not the one for me.