July 15, 2007 - “Honey, I think it’s time for you to go to bed. You have a long day ahead of you.” My Mom said to me. “Mommy! Can I stay up a little bit longer? Please Mommy!” I begged. “No, I think you need to go to sleep” my Mom told me. “… But I like this show.” I told her. I just started to watch Franklin. “No, you are going to bed, and that is final!” she raised her voice a bit. “Now turn off the T.V,” she told me. “NO!” I yelled at her. I did not want to turn off the T.V or go to bed and I made it obvious. “We don’t yell!” she told me. “What happens when we yell?” she asked me. “I don’t know!” I yelled at her again. “When you yell at mommy, there are consequences.” She firmly said to me. “Because you yelled at me, you’re going to bed 5 minutes earlier tomorrow night. Okay?” She told me. She was setting down the rules and I didn’t like that. “Now, you need to go to bed!” she demanded. “And if you’re not in your bed before I count to 10, then I’ll be adding another 5 minutes.” she added. My Mom started to count. “1…” she counted, “2…” she counted, “3…” she counted, “4…” she counted, “5…” she counted. “I’m half-way there. You had better get in your bed before I reach 10” she told me. I was furious. It was only 7:30. Why did I have to go to bed? Why could I not stay up a little bit longer? I rushed to my room, and slammed the door. “I hate you!” I yelled to my Mom. “You’re the worst Mom ever!” I added.
By 8:30, I was calmed down and almost asleep. I hugged my teddy bear and, finally I feel asleep.
July 16th, 2007 - It was now 4:00 in the morning. My Grandmaman headed to my bed, quietly sitting down beside me. Tears were dripping down from her eyes and onto my bed. “It’s time to wake up, Kristin” Grandmaman told me, as she rubbed my back. I woke up, and I was surprised to see Grandmaman. Why was Grandmaman here? I thought. “Where’s my Mom?” I asked her. Grandmaman was hesitant to answer. “She’s…..” Grandmaman said, not being able to say her complete thought. “Come down stairs, when you’re dressed” she told me.

Therefore, I got out of bed and headed to my dresser. I grabbed a pair of yoga pants, and an old sweatshirt and quickly put it on, and I headed down the stairs. There I saw, two police officers, three paramedics, and a fire fighter. They were all standing in a somewhat semi-circle format in the kitchen. One officer was comforting my Grandmaman.
“What’s going on? Where’s my Mom?” I asked. I was clueless. And, no one would tell me what was going on. Thoughts kept on rushing through my mind. Would you be scared if you knew something was not quite right, but no one would tell you what it was? … Sure, you would.
It was not until I was out of the house, and at my Grandmaman’s, that I was informed that my Mom had passed away. She had had a heart attack during the night, and has had difficulties breathing. I remember dropping to my knees.
Minutes later, my family had decided that it would be in my best interest, if I did not go to visit my Mom in the hospital, as it would be too difficult for a young child to see her mother dyeing. I remember yelling, “Why can’t I come too?” as Grandmaman and Grandpapa went out the door and drove away. They were going to see the last of my Mom.
Tears continued to drip down my eyes, for days now. I was not in a good emotional state. I remember yelling and screaming constantly. I also bit my Aunt’s boob. I felt like a failure. The words I said to my Mom, the night that she had passed away were horrific, and now having losing her, I wish I would have never had said them.
I would like to conclude by saying how much I appreciate all that my Mom has done for me. As a child, I demanded a lot from her. She was a single Mom, and I didn’t realize that she was trying her best to be the best parent that she could be. She provided good food, nice clothes, a roof over my head, education, and private tutoring for me, as I struggled in school with my Math.
Not to forget, she was always there for me, whenever I needed her. She loved and supported me. And, I will never forget her! Sometimes, you don’t realize how lucky you are, until it is taken away from you. I would also like to thank some other very important people in my life. I never would have been able to share my feelings to others that are outside of my family, about my Mom’s death without the help of family and friends.