People in our lives come and go, we do not always expect it and it may be painful. Death is inevitable, but most of us hope to fend it off for as long as we can. This depends on our life choices and what we choose to take away from our own and other people’s mistakes. If we can learn from those around us, then we will go much further in life.

When people we love and care about choose to make poor decisions, it hurts to see them struggle. However, it would be far worse to ignore their problem and not let it influence your life. My uncle Jerry was a man who had a weakness dealing with alcohol and smoking. He cared deeply for his family, but fell into bad habits that cost him a lot more than he, or anyone else, thought it would. However, this habit did not start with my uncle, his parents also had alcohol and smoking problems that ultimately ended their lives too early. Jerry tried to break his habits, but in the end his body was too damaged to recover.

Jerry had been married for nearly twenty years and had three adult sons, who gave him six grandchildren that he loved very much. He was the most charismatic and kind person I knew; he would call us up occasionally just to check in and talk with me. Jerry was always the first one on a dance floor at any family wedding, and made me dance with him every time. My uncle had the most memorable laugh, it was the kind that made me smile automatically when I heard it. When I was in second grade we went to visit Jerry and his family in Atlanta, Georgia. It was my favorite trip because they were still a happy family and Jerry had not begun the substance abuse. However, when he did, things started to collapse quickly. My Aunt Kaye asked for a divorce and Jerry was forced to move back to Iowa. This is the time that I saw what addictions can do to a person. Jerry still tried to be a caring man, but it was never the same because he was so focused on satisfying his wants. His health continued to dwindle and eventually he even needed a cane to walk. Seeing a family member’s life fall apart so fast right in front of me was devastating. I felt helpless as a teenager and was worried about losing my uncle.

Then in the year 2010, when my uncle was put in a rehabilitation center in Des Moines, he fell into a bad state and was admitted into the hospital. It happened suddenly and I remember my mother coming to me telling me what was happening. She told me he may not make it much longer. This news threw me off and I felt incapable of doing anything, so I went to my room, closed my door and prayed that Jerry could have another chance to be the uncle I loved and remembered. I do not know how long I did this for, but a few days later, Jerry was released from the hospital. It was not easy for him, but I believe Jerry finally came to the realization that he could not take his life for granted anymore.

Over the next few months, he slowly started to regain his strength and will power to try and get better. It was still very hard for Jerry to resist temptation. However, he was so concerned with his relationship with his children and grandchildren, that he knew he had to give up his habits. By the time Christmas of the following year, Jerry was able to attend our annual Sells Christmas. He was finally back to the man we had all come to know and love. He was even looking much healthier. He didn’t drink during the weekend and was able talk and laugh with everyone normally. This is the last memory of my uncle, because the following April he passed away from his previous years of severe substance abuse.

It was not easy seeing Jerry go through this difficult time in his life, but it made me really appreciate the second chance he was given to reconnect with his family. My uncle did not make the best decisions for himself in life, but in the end he did try to better himself, and I will always respect him for that. We make many decisions and it’s experiences like these that affect those decisions for the rest of our lives.