I stared down at the blank paper. Emotions wrecked havoc inside me and my vision was clouded with tears.
Drip.
A tear fell on the paper as I struggled to write. Frustration, anger and disgust surged through me and shook every fiber of my being as in one violent move; I hurled the pen on the floor, splattering ink on the walls. My head found its place among my hands and tears flowed ceaselessly as I shook like a dry leaf caught in a strong breeze. My only outlet, the only gateway to the turmoil that tormented my soul was shut today. It had failed me like so many things in my life. Faith, relationships and trust never got along with me, but today my talent deserted me as I screamed without utterance.
It was like waking up to a living nightmare and finding yourself strapped to your bed, unable to run away. Blank sheets had always been an opportunity to me but today it stood tall and defiant, mocking me and refusing to reveal it’s secrets.
My emotions formed words and words formed sentences that got lost on their way to the paper…
Sometimes I wish Pandora had let Hope escape her box, because today I was shattered and I was alone. But deep within my hollow heart I knew that with the rising sun my human instincts would kick in and I would dare to hope again. I would nurse my wounds, pull together what’s left of me, paste a smile on my face and welcome destruction yet again. And again. And again.
I would survive. Adapt. Change and evolve. I would slowly lose everything dear to me and at one point, stand alone among 7 billion people, facing a mirror, and watch myself metamorphose into a different being.
I would lose myself within me.
How cruel this world has become. It grants me the right to live but has taken away everything worth living for.