There was a time in my life where nothing clouded my mind, my mind was clear; there was no confusion in life, I knew all about myself and the world. Even the darkness of the world was clear to me, not saying I could see through it but, I knew what was in it, I had known what belonged in the darkness and I knew the qualifications to be placed within the darkness. Now I return to that time in which nothing clouded my mind, when my mind was clear, I have no confusion, I know all about myself and the darkness returns. What belongs in this darkness? I do.
If you are in darkness long enough you become able to see the silhouettes of your environment. What qualifies me? My failures. I am a failure, not even the darkness conceals my failures, everything is clear, the sadness I produce; such a dark light that anyone could see me in the darkest of places. So my question to you is why do people still care for me, why do they still love me, why do they praise me, how can they still believe in me through all that I have done to cause them pain, to extract their tears, to disappoint them and let them down? I am completely unworthy everything I have, the friends, the acquaintances, my family and my loved ones. Another common question, why am I here? What is my purpose in life? There is no point of me being here, I have no purpose but to cause all the people who care about me sadness, I even cause myself a great amount of sadness.
I am only left with a few choices for I want to cause no more sadness and need a solution. The avenue that I see the clearest is to disappear from all of their lives and be gone forever, that way they would not have to worry their selves with me and they could go on in life without me dragging them down. The next road of choice leads towards a cliff, a high, steep cliff with raged rocks, and no hope of survival, this one will rest assure that I am out of their lives forever and they would not have to worry about me forever. The third choice is also very clear in the fact the there are directions littered all over the road, to ensure that there is no confusion, but I know not where I will be led, this third and final choice I have is to role with my God, obey him and see where he leads me in life.