What Opened My Eyes. | Teen Ink

What Opened My Eyes.

July 25, 2013
By Anonymous

I was never touched, yet their words touched me. I was never bullied before, and I used to be a bully myself. This, this was all before I moved into my fathers house. The words said made me feel like I was just beat up. The words said pierced my ears with violent hate. One mistake on my part would turn into a perfect time for my attacker to attack. I wasn’t just bullied, I was mentally abused. My body hurt from the words.

Any normal person didn’t bully me; this person was my own father.
I could not be myself, or leave any room for growing up. I had to know right from wrong as if I’ve already lived before and knew what life had in store. I started to do serious self-harm, and I formed major depression. I hide all signs of my depression to my dad, I felt like that was one more thing to get abused with. I went on with my days, letting him attack me because I felt weak. He had broken me. My outlook on life changed as my depression carried on. Suicide was an option, my self-harm increased as the time flew by.

Around a year into all of my depression and self-harm, I met a boy who changed my whole world. For a whole year I thought everything my father had said to me was true. I felt like nobody could ever care for me like he did, and does. I felt all these terrible things about myself and did terrible things as well. That all stopped when I met him. I could stand up to my father because he told me none of it was true. Once I started to stand up for myself, my depression slimmed. As well as my self harm issues. Don’t wait for your boy to come along before you stand up for yourself.

I’ve learned so much out of this whole experience. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” I hate to say this childhood phrase is a lie, but it is. Suicide, low self esteem, depression and so much more can come out of bullying someone. Just because hating on someone is “cool” and “funny” does NOT in any way make it okay. You would never want to be pushed past your limits, so why push someone else. Depression and suicidal thoughts can and are hidden by people so well. It opened my eyes to how others feel and how certain people react to things. Suicide comes out of bullying; even school shootings may happen from someone being pushed. Why do we let this happen? Here is a question for you; do you want to be held responsible for the suicide of someone else? Or do you want to be known as the person that pushed that kid too far?



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