Tell your new friend from school that you think her friend from another school is cute. She’ll tell him and he’ll say you’re pretty. He’ll text you later that night, “Hey, it’s Boce” with a penguin emoji. You’ll see it and squeal. You’ll think about his dark hair and bright blue eyes you’ve seen in pictures. You’ll think “I don’t really like skaters, but I’ll make an exception for him.” You’ll text him all night and think about him all the next day, with a smile on your face. He’ll text you again on the next night and will ask to hang out on Friday. You’ll have trouble thinking of what to do with him; you’ll be scared to suggest something weird because you’ll think he won’t like you. Tell him “Let’s meet at the mall- I need to get a birthday gift.” You’ll get nervous, but excited.

Friday will finally come and you’ll dress in your Sunday best. You’ll meet him outside of Forever21. He’ll be a half hour late and then will text you that he’s on his way up. You’ll look up and see his bright blue eyes. He’ll apologize for being late and will say he was helping his dad. You’ll spend the day walking around the mall. Don’t be awkward. He’ll help you pick out a necklace for your mom. Then he will go to the food court and order two double cheeseburgers from Wendy’s but you’ll say “I’m good” when he asks because you won’t want to look like a fat-ass.

You will sit there and watch him eat. It’ll be too awkward to handle. You’ll be dying to go home but you two will have already made plans to stay there until 6 p.m. and you won’t say anything to him. Your mom will call you, screaming, wondering where you are. He’ll drive you home. You won’t know how this will end so you run out of his car when he gets to your house.
He’ll text you later that night, “Sorry if I was so awkward, it’s just I didn’t expect you to be so cute!” You’ll smile the biggest smile you’ve ever had.

The next week your friend will ask if you want to go on a double movie date. You’ll get excited that you’ll get to see him again.

Tuesday will come and he’ll pick you up from school. You will be intimidated because all of his friends will be there and you won’t know what to say. You’ll stay quiet. You won’t believe you’re this lucky to be with someone this great and won’t want to ruin it.
You’ll go to the movies. You still won’t kiss. He won’t put his arm around you. He’ll drive you home and you’ll say goodnight.
He’ll text you later that night and say “sorry I was so quiet, I just get so nervous around you, which is why I didn’t put my arm around you.” You’ll smile and text back that it’s no big deal. You’ll text him and text him and text him and text him. He’ll say he’s not a relationship guy.

He’ll pick you up from school one day the next week. This time it will be just you two. You’ll be more nervous than excited.

He’ll take you to go get coffee. You’ll be unsure because you won’t know if he’ll pay or not- so you do.

He’ll take you back to his house. You’ll watch a movie in his room. It’ll be your first time being alone in a boy’s room.

When it’s time for you to go home, you two will get ready to leave. Once you stand up, he’ll pull you closer and try to kiss you. You’ll bump noses. He’ll try again, and your aim will be good- but the kiss will be bad. You’ll pull away and say you’ve never kissed anyone like that before. He’ll pull you closer and stick his tongue down your throat. It’ll still be bad. You’ll pull away and he will say, “We’ll work on it.”

He’ll take you home.

He won’t text you that night.

You’ll feel insecure. The highest amount of insecurity you’ve ever felt.

You’ll text him a thousand times the next day.

“I’m sorry about last night”

“I thought you knew”

“I feel really bad”

“I’m sorry I’m an awful person”

He won’t answer.

The next day he’ll text you.

“I’m sorry but I think we should just be friends.”

You won’t answer. You’ll feel ashamed of yourself.

You’ll wait weeks to talk to him and will eventually form a friendship. You’ll keep in touch every so often.

A year later, you’ll go on vacation. While you’re away, your best friend will find this “how to” and fix everything you did wrong. She’ll introduce herself. He’ll like her. More than you. You’ll get back from your trip and feel hurt. You’ll cry. A lot. They’ll stay together. You’ll never date a Boce again.