I have a love ,hate relationship with eating.While I love to eat I also hate to eat,for the constant fear of gaining weight.Calories scare me like a clown scares a small child.The fear of becoming overweight consumes my every bite and I hate it.I don’t want to be this way but I can’t stop it it consumes me.I don’t want food to be the enemy nor do I want to fight over every bite.

Depression and anxiety is like a cloud an all consuming cloud of reckless thoughts,impulsive behaviors,suicidal thoughts.They land you in psych wards where they take your belt and shoe laces leave you with nothing but socks and the clothes on your back.The hospital is horrible but at the same time it becomes your best friend a place of refuge when you can’t stand to live anymore.I can’t bear living it hurts me from the inside out. They monitor your every move and it makes me feel safe and at peace when my mind is trying to kill me.

Self harming is like your drowning in a ocean and people keep screaming for you to pull your self out but you can’t no matter how hard you try finally they offer a life jacket a cut is a life saver it brings you up helps you to survive when your feel your drowning.