“I’m sorry for your loss,” said one of my relatives with tears pouring out of their eyes. I was only six at the time and did not quite understand death and the fact that my great grandma was not coming back. A whole line of family members and friends came up to my mom, my sisters, my dad, my grandparents, and me. Each one with red eyes and wet faces saying the same thing “I’m sorry for your loss.” I only started to realize something was wrong when each person was giving me hugs and wiping their tears as they tried to say those five words. As I saw each of their faces and saw how sad they were I felt something like a rock in my throat and I couldn’t swallow, then I felt something else that was all to familiar, and a tear rolled down my cheek. I began to understand that something was wrong and as I walked up to the casket where my great grandma laid with tears rolling down my cheeks as I said my last goodbye. That was the day that I learned the meaning of empathy.
The feeling of empathy and to be able to empathize has stuck with me throughout my life. It is a vital emotion that helps me connect with other people on different levels. The ability to empathize with others has opened up many doors for strong relationships and has helped me to become a better person.
I lost my nanny to stomach cancer when I was twelve. It was a traumatizing experience, more so then my great grandmother’s because I was older and much closer to my nanny. My nanny would always complain that her stomach hurt to my older sister and me but I had no idea that there were other types of cancer besides brain and lung cancer so I never said anything to my parents. The day after my twelfth birthday my parents were racing her to the hospital. Weeks passed and she never came home and I wasn’t allowed to visited her in the hospital either because I had a cold. Then one day my family took me to the hospital, jumping with excitement because I thought I would finally get to see her my parents sat me down in the waiting room. Then the doctor took them down a long hallway and into a room. About thirty minutes later they came back out, my mom sat down next to me and put her arm around me. I looked up at her completely confused as a tear rolled down her face. Her lip quivered as she said “Pushpa past away last night”. Before I knew it a waterfall was coming from my eyes and regret raced through my body. Regret that I never said goodbye, regret that I never told my parents of her stomach pain, and regret that I never told her how grateful I was of her and how much I loved her. I felt as if her death was all my fault and that I might as well have been the thing killing her since I never told my parents about her stomach pains. It wasn’t until I met a friend that was able to empathize with the regret I had.
The friend I met also knew something about a loved one but didn’t realize its danger until it was too late. She would talk about how awful she felt once the person passed away and how she felt like it was all her fault. She also explained how her mom felt the same way and together they got through the pain and realized there was nothing they could have done. She explained to me that it wasn’t my fault and that there was nothing I could do. I was able to listen to her and understand because I connected through empathy from her loss and realized that it wasn’t my fault what happened to my nanny. She taught me that I couldn’t live my life with regret like she had done because what’s in the past is in the past and can’t be changed.
I finally realize how powerful an emotion like empathy can be. It can help people through tough times and help them let go of the past. Empathy connects millions of people together and causes strong lasting relationships.