"Don't worry, I'll be dead soon," is what my mother would say before lighting a cigarette and strolling off into the bathroom, just to leave a pungent odor in there that would last for hours. I used to laugh, thinking that it was so funny, but that was because I never thought that "soon" would be on June 28, 2013.

Her death was more of a shock than anything, and it occurred at such a random point in time, that I couldn't really determine what had actually happened that night.

In the movies, they show loved ones dying with family and friends at their bedside, waiting anxiously and painfully for them to take their final breath. Me? My situation was completely different. I, unfortunately, missed my mother's last breath. Instead of sitting at her bedside, I was in my room, sitting in front of a computer screen while reading a story on Wattpad. I hadn't realized that anything was wrong until I looked out my window, and saw the flashing police sirens. 

At first, I ignored them, thinking that the neighbor's daily quibble had turned into something more violent. But then, my neighbor walked in, grabbed my hand, and dragged me over to her house.

Everything surged around me like a gale of wind. My sister was sprawled out on the couch, her eyes red from tears, her lips cracked and dry, but moist with saliva as they trembled.

"What happened?" I asked. I thought I was a ghost, because no one seemed to be answering my question. I was irritated, confused, sad, and scared. I wanted an answer and I wanted it now. 

'What the heck happened?' I thought to myself as I looked out the window to see paramedics, and police officers walk into my house.

Then, as if i came back from the dead, my question was finally answered.

"Antiah, your mother is gone."

I suddenly regretted asking the question, because those were the words that made all of the light disappear from my world. I searched for hours, days, months! I searched to find that light again, but I realized that it was gone forever.