We always talked about getting out of this small town we grew up in. We didn’t quite fit in with the others. You because you wore colored skinny jeans and drew magnificent pictures. Me because I chose guitar over sports. While they were discussing last night’s game, we were addressing the newest music that was actually good.
The news. The news came out of your mouth like a bullet. It ripped through my heart and left me shocked.

“Hey.”
“Hey, what’s up?”
“I’m moving to the city to live with my dad.”

My first thought was to scream, yell, cry, and then demand that you stay, but according to you I have always been a logical fair thinker when it comes to big things. I wanted you to stay so bad, but I knew I could not hold you back. “I am happy for you, I am sure you will love it.”

The day you left I cried. School began and I learned how to talk about sports because being alone wasn’t an option. We talked sometimes, but you were pretty busy with your life and I didn’t want to bother you. I was happy for you, I was happy one of us got out.

The holiday came and you were coming home to visit your mom. I was overjoyed. We picked a day to hang out. We saw each other and like the movies we ran and embraced. There was laughter and smiles. The exclamations of I am so glad to see you and you look great! After the pleasantries, our conversation turned more serious.

“So tell me, how is the big city?”
“I love it there is so much to do and there are more people similar to us.”
I closed my eyes imagining it.

“There is so much variety. I work in a car shop doing the filing and the phones, it is only 3 minutes from my house. There is a normal restaurant within a 2 minute walking distance.”

We both laugh remembering the times we wanted a burger and fries, but weren’t willing to drive 20 minutes to get one.

“There are no cows and people don’t really care who you are. They aren’t all up in your business. You are free to be whoever you want. Not everyone knows you, it is incredible.”

“I want to come!”

He nods. “I wish you would. School is even easier too and the teachers don’t know your name or life story and most of them, they don’t care. It’s easier in ways and harder in others.”

“Is it pretty good overall though?”

“Oh my yes, it is great. Except the drugs. There are so many more and so easy to access. It wasn’t like there aren’t any here, but there it is crazy.”

“Have you ever tried them?”

“Heck no and you better not either. There are so many kids on them and looking at them, well drugs just mess you up.”

“Isn’t everyone messed up?”

“Yes, but this is not a natural normal messed up. It’s a scary messed up. Your brain doesn’t work like it is supposed to and you are not in control of yourself. It’s scary. Promise me you will never get them?”

“I promise. So the city is it everything we always imagined?”

“No, yet it is so much more.”
Hours we spent catching up.

You left.
I cried.