i wish I was one of those people that could look in the mirror and look past the blemishes that take over my face and the stretch marks that are so noticeable to me but you say you can't see them. I wish I could believe you when you say you love everything about me. because everything you say. the way my hair falls half way down my back, the way my eyes shine when I smile, the way I laugh at the stupidest things. but I see my hair as a greasy mess that never cooperates. my smile makes my cheeks look bigger than they already are and I hate the way it just makes me look like I'm fat. because that's what I feel my face looks like.  I see the acne that isn't even that bad anymore but still sticks out more than I wish it would. because people still look at it when they see me for the first time. and I see the stretch marks on my legs and I feel even fatter and I might see myself as 30 pounds heavier than you do. I hear my laugh and my voice and I feel annoying, it feels like I'm too loud, or too weird, or too quiet, or not funny, can't stop laughing. I feel like I'm just there instead of benefiting the people I'm with.
of course there are times when I love who i am. I look in the mirror and I am pleased because my hair is cooperating or I'm not smiling at the time I see myself. maybe someone called me pretty, but then I see other people. and that feeling goes away because they are the people that boys want to get with. they are the ones that constantly have boys liking them. and then there is me and I feel like I'm not pretty all over again.
I'm sorry I don't believe you, I believe that you love me, but I don't understand what about me you can love because no one has loved me like you say you love me