The sun had set, and the darkness of night settled like a blanket over my room. My eyes were heavy, but I refused to allow myself to think that I was tired. I had stripped to nothing but my undergarments; a seemingly indecent, yet ironically pure garb. I climbed up into my blue, twin-sized bed, which was worn and uneven, but somehow still held a certain level of comfort to me as the lumps in the mattress aligned with the contour of my body with perfect accuracy. The pillow sat low to the bed, only giving a few inches of elevation for my head. Everything was prepared for the occasion.

I laid on my back across the length of my bed with palms faced upward and feet slightly separated from each other, but still pointing upwards towards the ceiling. My head reclined back, opening my throat so that I could take in and let out full breaths of the pure, light air that shared the room with me with but the slightest of effort. There was no blanket to cover or comfort my figure. I was to expose and surrender to my vulnerabilities to truly feel the surreal sense I was seeking to feel.

I closed my eyes, but kept my focus on the inside of my eyelids. I slowed my breaths into a soft, rhythmical pattern. I count, “In… two… three...four… five… six... Out… two… three… four.. five… six… seven... eight…” in my head, lulling my mind into serenity.  Thoughts started creeping into my head, but I did nothing more but quickly observe them before returning them back into the recesses of my subconscious. I started to lose sense of my body, blending into the feeling of the bed beneath my back, arms, and legs. It wasn’t before too long that I could feel my senses becoming almost completely dull. I focused harder on the darkness of my eyelids.

A slight tingle began to take form at the top of my head. I was familiar with the feeling, and I eagerly anticipated it to take hold of me as it sent a powerful wave of energy down my entire body. This feeling indicated that my body has fallen asleep and into paralysis. To an untrained individual, this can cause a great sense of panic and distract the mind, ultimately awaking their bodies. However, I was familiar with the process, and simply took note of the feeling before falling back into the rhythm of my breath. This was the farthest point I had ever made it into a meditation, but my intentions reached out for the next step of the process known only to a few.

I couldn’t feel my limbs. I could hardly feel my chest as it rose and fell with my breath. All of my senses blended together and became one with my thoughts. Random ideas and images sporadically flashed in my view, but I knew better than to focus on them. They invaded my mind and thoughts, trying to distract me from my meditative sense of mind for what felt like hours. I struggled to keep my focus, but just as I felt I was about to lose all that I had worked for, a pinpoint of light appeared in my field of view. It spiraled around hazily, seemingly coming closer to me, reaching out to touch me.

I felt an overwhelming sense of what can only be described as a sense of purity and holiness engulf my entire being. If one could ever feel their own soul, I could feel mine being enlightened by this sense. I surrender myself entirely to the light, and upon its touch, my eyes shoot open. Well, not my physical eyes, but a new pair of eyes. I could definitely feel that my eyes were closed still, and yet I could see and even blink without even twitching my physical eyes. The more I relax into this new experience, the more I begin to accept the fact that I am no longer in my body, even though I could still feel it. It was as if I was in limbo between two dimensions.

I was suspended in space. I could see through infinity and everything in between. There was a bright light that almost acted as a horizon far in the distance, millions of light-years away even, giving me a false sense of up and down, and how I was positioned in my free-float through the universe. As I adjusted my view, I realized that there were millions, billions, trillions of stars scattered against the black of space. It was beyond any beauty ever perceived in a physical form. It nearly brought me to tears to see such a sight, and I wished I could have stayed in this space for all eternity. However, some sort of thought creeped into my head. I’m not sure if it was mine, or if it was from some other outside force, but it told me that it was not yet my time to be here, but this space waited for my return at a later time. I felt content with the idea, and so dove back into the sensation of my physical body. The stars faded one by one, and the horizontal light dimmed to black.

The tingling sense left my body, and I slowly began to wiggle my fingers and toes, regaining my ability to move. My eyes opened, but this time I only saw the darkness that surrounded me in my room. I rolled to my side, and mouthed a short prayer of thanks for whatever it was that I had just experienced, and vowed that one day I would return. To this day, I have not been able to duplicate what I felt that night, but it was an experience I will never forget.