I always feel like goodbyes are never taken seriously enough. It’s become a common practice to just say “see you later,” but does anyone truly value a goodbye anymore? Does the thought of never seeing someone again ever come to mind in a casual farewell? I admit to belittling the importance of a goodbye. Our mind sometimes rejects the thought that one person may impact our lives and leave us like the seasons change, but people learn to adjust to the weather. I’ve never valued the change of weather but simply learned to cope as each day passes by. Is that what a goodbye feels like? Sometimes I feel as if it’s the smallest goodbyes that can hold the greatest power in someone’s life.

It was two summers ago when I found a small musk turtle, not even the size of a quarter at the time. I named this small beady-eyed creature, Turtle Muhgurdle, and learned to love him, rigid shell and all. It became a pattern to feed this little creature, and to see him ferociously beat his webbed toes to the surface of his tank to grab a meal. I knew this turtle depended on food from me, but I never questioned if this relationship we shared was simply for his survival. Soon enough, such a small turtle grew and just as he came into my life, it was time for him to leave it.

All I had ever wanted when the time came to release my little friend was a “look back”. I desired the kind that is seen in the movies when two beings go their separate ways; I wanted that dramatic scene where you can feel the tension in their chests as they fight the urge to leave; I needed to feel as though I had meant something in this small creatures life. It may have been a small turtle, but I sought the reassurance that the turtle I had become fond of was fond of me too.  I remember placing his fragile body in the cold sand and dreading the moment that he’d run for the murky unknown. However, there was a pause, and silence. This small turtle had turned, and then two dark eyes looked at mine. In that moment, I felt closure overwhelm my body. I could feel my eyes swell as tears were fought back and my heart sighed in relief. Just as this moment had begun, it had ended. My untamed pet now crawled into his vast new world and all I had hoped for was to be remembered.

I wanted to believe that for a creature so small, I had held some meaning in its life. That I gave this turtle a home and love like the harsh wilderness might deter if he didn’t make it from the sandy nest to the waters he’d call home. In those dark eyes, it was the smallest goodbye that I would ever see. It may have been just a part of nature but I believe that appreciations for the tiny farewells in life need to not be overlooked, for it can be the smallest of moments that last the longest.