My vision was twisted. Sitting on the edge of my bed I could see the blurred, bright green glow from the numbers on my alarm clock on my nightstand. The room felt as if I was standing outside in the middle of December wearing only shorts and a tank top. In my head I was screaming but no noise could be made. Thinking to myself “I’m going to die here I can’t move. I can’t talk. Oh, my god, I'm going to die.”

I gripped my nightstand and tried to stand up but I was soon met with the cold, hard bedroom floor. It felt as if I had just face planted onto concrete. I could hear my  room echo with the harsh sound of my body hitting the floor.
I heard my mom's voice getting closer to my door with every footstep of hers.

“What was that noise? Are you okay?”

I saw her turning my doorknob and then burst into my room. Breaking down into tears I tried speaking to her but my mouth wouldn’t move. I laid there on the floor falling in and out of consciousness while my mother tried desperately to get me to stand and get into the car. But, once again, I fell  into unconsciousness.

I woke up to the smell of chemicals and vomit. “Where am I? What’s that noise?” Turning my head to the left I noticed my mother was sitting in a chair, next to the hospital bed I was in, vomiting profusely into a bag. I was horrified. The look on her face said it all. I was in the emergency center of the Helen Devos Children's Hospital for my attempt on suicide just hours before. People came in and out of my room every half hour or so taking blood, checking my vitals, and asking me questions.
           

The feeling of sitting in a hospital bed with your mother next to you while she’s crying and terrified but you can’t do anything about it was the worst thing ever. After hours of sitting in the ice cold hospital bed a lady came into my room and we talked for what seemed like hours. She wanted to send me to a mental help hospital in Detroit. I was terrified of what my mom would do if I got sent away it could be for weeks, months, or who knows how long. I begged her to let me stay with my family. After what felt like an eternity we had an agreement.

“You can stay with your mom but you’ll have to visit a counselor and be put on antidepressants” the lady said.
“Yes, okay. Thank you so much.” I said with tears blurring my vision. I had never been so happy in my life to go home.

Being through everything that happened that night I have changed so much. My outlook on life is so much different now. Life is precious and you are here for a reason. My mom saved me that night by taking me to the hospital. I can’t think how bad things would’ve been if I had been successful.