Silence. Absolute silence. It seems like another world in the medical Library. Nothing but the sound of the air conditioning, with the constant hum roaring through the impending silence. Of course there is the occasional flip of a page but it is a rarity in this place. The flip oppp of the page, the strokes of the finger of curiosity over the indecipherable medical terminology that one day I will come to comprehend and understand to the greatest of my capacity. Just serving at the hospital is a whole other battle (well more like a vacation if you compare the constant stress with school work and life). For me, arriving at my usual shift on Tuesday's and Thursday's at LAC USC medical center is my vacation so to speak. I get away from all the stress and life of school to enjoy the life, the presence, the embodiment of medicine in its natural form. Every second of every hour spending time volunteering is precious time for renewal, for relaxation, for pursuit of knowledge in medicine. Yet despite the importance of  every second, every shift is distinct. It has its own features whether it involves shadowing Dr. Chang or helping Erika translate or even stocking up the supplies in the back. Every time I step in through that door of the med surge A4B clinic, something changes. This change is growth of intellect, of character and of mind. I love coming to volunteer so much. Words cannot describe how much I enjoy my volunteer. A fellow friend of mine asked me once "Why do you volunteer? You're done with the hours already so why continue that?" And I replied " because I love it." A simple four word response had enough power to silence the art of interrogation. There are numerous reasons as to why I enjoy volunteering. It's not only because I love helping others in need. It's not only that I do it for college as many people think I do this for another title on my list of activities for colleges to see and think "wow you do a lot of service. Okaaay?." I do this because I enjoy the atmosphere of the hospital, the medical professionals and the knowledge I attain from both the library and my experience with all people. A typical day of forty- five minute drive of silence with my grandpa and brother. They seem to chuckle about how the most absurd things from a man falling off his bike and how his facial expression of pain seemed to evoke a jovial atmosphere for the guys. In short, I am excluded from this conversation and I rally my thoughts together. I think about the past day just like today while talking to Sydney, I have come to realize  the hidden  potential within me. We had a decent conversation about prom, junior year and of course what to expect senior year. Then colleges came into play. I will admit over the course of these past five days, I have pressured and stress myself to become a world class kid in order to even consider applying to Harvard. I keep thinking that everyone would just laugh at me or mock me for even considering applying Harvard brown and Stanford. Three sets of eyes stared at me followed by a slight nod of the head when I told them I will be applying for Harvard. My college counselor had the same expression. My English  teacher had it. My best senior friend had as well. What is it that made them seem like I should apply. Like I have a chance to actually make it to the school? There is hope. Their facial expressions were assuring me that I have a chance to apply and in a sense, I should apply. It wasn't until I asked Sydney " Notre Dame and Vanderbilt pretty good schools?" Notice the word pretty. The euphemism of average. Her blue eyes widen. Her talkative nature silenced itself. She kept that expression for quite some time almost like infinity in one blink of an eye. She then stated that those schools "are like the Stanford. They could be ivy leagues but the are hair one step down. Still high up... " But one line stood out to me in all the banter: "Vanderbilt is the Stanford of medicine." My mind ceased to think. My eyes widened, staring right  between her blond eyebrows. The ironic thing is, I have both my Vanderbilt and Notre Dame cards tucked away in a binder shoved between an AP Calc prep book and SAT prep book on the second row of my library. Never did I even consider applying or checking out those schools before. A revelation. I will apply to those schools no doubt about it  because  the reality is, I want out of California NOW. Not because everything that's going on. I want to explore, to travel, to experience the college life. I will confess, none of the schools in Southern California stood out to me. Is is true that UCLA has an excellent neuroscience program as well as the interaxon outreach club, I feel that I... just do not fit in. I stood on the campus for a whole nine days and enjoyed it. The morning run, the afternoon jogs and the self portraits by the Bruin bear. It is an amazing sight to see but I know if I go there, I will always be oppressed, undermined by the fact that I will be force to drive every day of my college life to and from the campus back home. What a boring life. The school itself is far too large. I prefer a much smaller school aimed at the  guidance for medical school. Ivy leagues seem like the perfect match; not too large campus, decent student body size (about 5,000 ish). Just  a tad bit bigger than USD. That's what I want. What I need to foster my academic and social growth. Now people may think I want Harvard because it's a top notch school but that is not the case. I desire to attend this school for numerous reasons but the main reason is: to prove that I have the potential to attend Harvard. To embrace the inner knowledge, drive and  to revolutionize the world we live in today. Whether I become the next influential writer or the next neurosurgeon. I want to be the change that revolutionizes society's today. I want to share my success with others, to serve as a mentor for all. Not just the underrepresented individuals of or society. Not just those of a certain race. I want to show everyone my abilities to conduct change, to keep society moving forward. I may be just a sixteen year old Latina who has not seen the world in all its colors and marvel's, but I can assure you, when you have the feeling of drive, of passion and of heart, you are invincible in the eye of the beholder. You not only want or desire to make a difference. It's something even more than a want. It is a dream. Not a want, not a need. A dream. You can reach  for the stars and feel the gaseous tendrils stroke your hand when you dream. I tell myself everyday 'you're going to experience something new. It's either going to be amazing or tragic, but whatever it is, never forget where you came from or what you dream of." Dream on. Dream until your dream comes true. You all have hidden talents that need to be shown, that need to be harvested for yourself to realize how much of an amazing person you can be. Let it shine, prosper and thrive.

Dream on my dear friends.
-M.A.C