Mrs. Ditata glared at me and asked, “Please tell me why you are here?” The words would not come out, but the tears kept rolling down my face. She tried guessing my ailment but frankly everything she said was far off from what I was about to tell her. My hands were shaking and my cheeks became as a red as a ripe tomato. She asked again to tell her what was wrong, and then the words flooded out of my mouth. I explained to her that I was living with an abusive mother who threatened to kill me when I got home from school. I told her that my mother is a drug addict and an alcoholic, and whenever I came home from school I didn’t know who I was dealing with. The look of sorrow and despair filled her face, and she quickly made a phone call. I then proceeded to show her the bruises on my ribs of when she kicked me and told me to “shut the f*** up you good for nothing stupid b****”.

Have you ever thought what would it be like if you were never born? I can say I did and that’s all I would ever think about. I was sixteen years old and I wished I was dead. The nurse came rushing in asking me to lift my shirt and show her the bruises. I watched her as she examined me, and proceeded to nod her head at Mrs. Ditata. The nurse also asked me when was the last time I actually ate something. Thinking back I couldn’t remember because I wasn’t eating. Mrs. Ditata then told me that she contacted the Department of Child and Family Services and they were coming to get me. I cried, even more, I knew my mother would really kill me if she ever found out I did this. I begged her to call back to tell them not to come. She didn’t listen to me and told me “you’re safe now everything will be ok don’t worry.” How could I not worry? My life was about to take a drastic change, and I wasn’t ready for what was coming.

The social worker brought me into a small room to question me. She wanted to know everything possible and I wasn’t expecting to share my whole life story with her. It felt like I was letting the monsters come out of the closet. I relived the moments as if they were playing on a movie screen in front of me. I watched the young girl cry herself to sleep and wish that she could have just one happy day. I saw her clean up the vomit on the ground and assist as her mother was having a seizure in front of her. Her cheeks were stained with tears and her face was numb to the pain.

After the social workers questioning, she made me grab my school bag and brought me to her SUV with her. She proceeded to take me to the police station to file a police report against my mother. It was strange yet relieving to tell a police officer what my mother did to me. After I was brought to the Department of Child and Family Services where I was asked more questions. I then saw my grandmother crying and rushing in looking for me. My grandmother was my angel who had always saved me and kept me going. I never really told her about the times I wanted to kill myself or what her daughter really did to me. Nearly 30,000 Americans commit suicide every year, and I refused to become part of the statistic. After all of that, I was placed in my grandmother's care with a restraining order against my mother. I was finally saved from the hell that I was living in.

Today I am happy eighteen-year-old first-year college student pursuing my dream to become a pediatric nurse. I want to become a nurse due to the fact that I was taking care of mother allowing me to have a nurturing ability. This is the reason I decided to further my education and become the best I can be. I always think back to what my life was like before the day I decided to change it, and the horrors are sometimes too much to handle. This message is for anyone who feels trapped in their life and wishes they weren’t living anymore: you will make it through. 

Take control of your life and realize that you are important and belong on this earth for a reason. I live by this quote that Robert Frost once said, “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.”  I was lucky enough to have wonderful grandparents who welcomed me into their home and love me unconditionally. I survived.