My roomie died today and I don't know what to do, how to act. My eyes have no tears for him but I'm feeling very sad about him. I want to cry but no tears .I want to console others but I don't know from where to initiate. I want to break this monotony in my room. My college is closed for a week after this insident. And I have no work. I'm seeing my friend's laptop lying on his bed and I want to watch a movie. But I scare that it would affect the sentiments of others that they may consider me to be very hard hearted and very less affected by his death. I want to scream, shed tears but my throat being sans to voice and eyes dryed as sand are making me blank. I'm feeling a knot in my left chest. The more I'm trying to sleep the slower the watch is ticking.
All I realised today that I'm a person who neither knows how to protest for his friend's death, nor to make the trauma prolonged to show some that how true was he my new friend that I lost in one jerk.
This is the only way I found to elapse my time to dissolve his scents oozing from the walls into a fading glimpse of his image that was adorable a day before.
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I'm seeing my friend watching an episode cousioned with a pillow and a sheet, who protested a morning and a half whith an empty appetite, and had gone every inch to show his anger that why he went into that good night at such young age.
Maybe he is just so tired that he is trying to radiate the anger or he is so drained that he is begining to absorb some.
I can steal a worthy 2 peacefull hours that would make some delight.
He won't mind that I wonder so. But the other would may be unsatisfied by the watch of mine doing so.
He is no loger to protest or to say that atleast I must had maintained a 24 hours morn.
But I'm seeing a villon in me who says that it was destinied and no one could resist that shock in him that made him so almight.
But my soul could feel him watching his friends expecting them to be with his side.
And the satan inside me makes me move to forget his insight.
He may be watching his friends from that good place.
How every one gives him a farewell and I scare that he may see his new friend listening to some random s*** with stuffed ears and reflecting eyes.
At that time I wish he could see my heart full of agony that I could tell him how low I feel at that time.
I had refrained my self from that future sight and I can only try this to be happening only in my mind.

My lost friend if you ever watch that happening to be true that I wish it would be in my wildest dreams.
I wish how I could tell you that my heart is no lesser twisted than the one who yelled for you with an empty appetite.????