I wasn't the same person I was five years ago. I never realized how much I didn't like myself untill I got to high school. Let me take you on a journey from where I used to be to where I am now.  
              

I feel like since middle school I’ve lost myself, found myself , lost myself again and now I’m in the process of finding myself again. I know what you're probably thinking, “Wow this girl needs to get her life together,”but ever since middle school that's how things have been for me. I didn't realise that I lost who I was until I saw who I was associating myself with. I was surrounded by people who made bad decisions and the worst part is I knew they were bad but I guess I looked passed it. Then I started doing the same. Luckily I had two amazing friends to get me out of this funk and show me how much of an idiot I was being. I guess at the time I just wanted to fit in. Yes I know that is very stereotypical for a little twelve year old girl to feel but it's true.
            

Eighth grade was better than seventh but it still wasn’t the best. I don’t remember much if I'm being honest. It was the first time that I had to go to school without my best  friend which was weird. But this was the year that I saw who my real friends were. I never really did have a lot of friends but I always had someone. I actually had two, Justin and Autumn. They were always by my side and was always there when I needed them. We had some really great times together. That was the year I decided that I was going to be who I wanted to be and that I didn't have to hide anything from anyone. I made that decision before one of my best friends got into a relationship. I started see that person less and less everyday til we just never really saw each other at all. No one ever likes loosing friends. But for some one like me, someone who is typically shy and a bit of an introvert, it wasnt common for some on as amazing as they were to just fade out of my life. 

Freshman year was probably the year I wanted to make things right. I wanted to be happy. I still didn't have many friends. The only person I would consider a good friend at school was Autumn, but that was only because all my other friends were at different schools and were seniors that year so they didn't have time to see me. This was the first year that I had huge tests at the end of the year. Those tests hit me like a bomb. I was not ready. I did pass all of them but it wasn't easy. Since I was a freshman I had the opportunity to join the cheer team. When I told my mom I wanted to do cheer she was not happy at all but she came around. Joining that team was probably the best decision I made that year. I had found a new best friend and had an amazing time. And that “new” best friend to this day is still my best friend and we’re closer than ever. Sadly this was also the year that my brother left to go to college after he graduated high school. That year was pretty great, you know except of the bad things.
              

Sophomore year killed me. I had Earth Science, English 10 Honors, Global 10, Band and don’t even get me started on Geometry. We had a teacher who was supposed to retire but didn't and wasted the first three months of our class time. I had a hard time finding time to keep up with everything going on at school and at home. Nothing was smooth last year. For some reason I was always doing well but then something comes to knock me down again. I made some pretty bad decisions last year and they definitely had their consequences. But those bad decisions showed me that people aren't always who they seem to be. The people you keep closest could stab you in the back. At this point in my life I was really thinking about everything I've done since I started high school. Were decisions I thought were right, wrong? Yes they were. I know that now. And everyone makes mistakes. I feel like people forget that. I might be sixteen but I'm still growing up and making mistakes is a part of that. I’m not proud of the decisions I've made but there is nothing I can do about it. You can never “make up for what you’ve done” you can only live with it.
              

I’ve changed so much over the past five years. I thought I was aware of what was right and wrong but I wasn’t. I'm still not. There  really isn’t a right or wrong. I think a lot more about doing something before actually doing it. I can’t really think about how much I’ve changed because to me, I haven't changed at all.
              

That brings me to now, junior year. Today is January 5, 2017. Im almost half way done. I seem to keep learning the lesson that there are the people who change and the people that never do. I'm finding myself and it's going to stay that way. No more mistakes. I'm determined to make things right.