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The Knight That Protects the Voice in My Head
The voice sits by itself its whole weight pressed against the door. The voice looks sad, disheartened almost. It is clear it is struggling to hold itself up. The voice pants and sobs quietly to himself. It looks like it is about to pass up. Waiting for the knight to come
The Voice: Hello? Where are you? Knight? I need you now. I need you to fight, fight off everything that's coming in. But I can’t find you. Your usually there, actually always there. You fight off everything bad. You don’t let it get to you at all. Ever. But where are you right now? I need you more than ever. I can only protect myself for so long, the door is about to blow. I can’t hold on much longer by myself. The weight against me will push me down soon enough. I just need a little hand here. I know you can protect me for good. Please? Just give me a hand? I’m struggling. Just give me a sign knight that you're not gone forever and soon I won't have to push against this door. I’m asking just to tell me it will all end. Help my energy is fading fast, I can’t take it any longer. Just please give me some indication that it is not all for nothing. Help?
The door blows open for a second, and the voice struggles to fight it close. The voice strains against pushing it as hard as possible. It stops fighting for a moment, and the door flies open a little more.
The Wind: You are not good enough. You are not strong enough. Give up now save yourself. Cave in, it's not worth it. Stop pushing yourself. Your focus and determination is useless. It will get you nowhere.
With a forceful push the voice slams the door, is visibly shaking.
The Voice: Knight? Please come back. I can not do it again. Where have you gone off to? Please do not tell me the wind has taken you. I'll never get you back if that's the truth. You can’t be lost forever. I can't be alone in this forever. This is certainly not the worst possible storm yet, or one that will come. I need your strength, your power. I will be defeated without it. Don’t let me down now. This when I need you the most. Please what do I need to do. I am not strong and can’t do much, but I am asking. Is there a tiny thing I can change to make it all better. I’m willing to try anything. I’m dangerous when I am alone.
The Knight enters. Looking a little forlorn and sad. The voice brightens immediately and emits a sigh of relief.
The Voice: Oh you came back!! I knew you would! Don’t ever leave again!
The Knight: This is the last time I will come to see you, voice. It is your turn, your time and you must learn to fight against all that's outside. Use your power of words, and talk to the winds. My power of deception is no longer beneficial. You cannot push the truths away much longer.
The Voice: But you can’t leave me now!! Think of what will happen to me. I will fall apart like the straw house of three little pigs. Left to be trampled and destroyed. I would be better off as dead! And yet you selfishly waltz off to save a stronger soul! I need you!! I need your power!!
The Knight: But you see little voice, you don't understand. Strength in numbers is never always good. I do what I was trained, build walls as high as possible around you. Protecting everything from you. The wind, the rain, the cold. But this wall also blocks the good. It blocks the sun, and rainbows. I stay built up, and forever you stay hidden, blocked from the world. Never experiencing the true reality. You do not know yet how to fight to see the sun shine on your face, and the stars twinkle down on your back.
The Voice: But really you don’t understand! I have seen all that, knight. I have basked in the sun and pulled out star maps to look at the constelations. I have felt happy and I have felt sad What more do you want?
The Knight: Listen to me voice. Yes you have seen it all, but have yiu experinced it. You have nevr felt the pain. You enjoy the wind rushing by as you coast down hill, but you’ll never enjoy it as much untill you have felt the pain of the push up hill. I protect you from that. Thats why I must go.
The Knight leaves and the Voice starts to cry. Slowly the door cracks opens, and the wind flies in.
The Wind: You are not good enough. You are not strong enough. Give up now save yourself. You cant do it. Cave in, it's not worth it. Stop pushing yourself. Your focus and determination is useless. It will get you nowhere.
The Voice: wipes tears away You are false and mean nothing!!You are false and mean nothing!!You are false and mean nothing!!You are false and mean nothing!!
The voice continues to yell this louder and louder over and over, eventually the wind settles, and the door stays open. The voice smiles and takes a deep breath
The Voice: I got this on my own.
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This is a dialogue about the voice in my head that tells me things trying to push the negativity out, while waiting for the knight which represents the physical strength of my mentality to come and protect it.