I often ponder the idea of the type of person that I might end up tying the knot with someday.  Being assigned an essay to figure out the specifics gives me a great opportunity to come to a conclusion on this topic.  Writing about my “ideal spouse” requires extensive thought, though.  In my previous daydreams regarding this, I have only determined one thing  that would be preferred on my part: I would like my spouse to be a woman.  After upwards of fourteen years of falling asleep in school, that is the lone verdict that I have come to.  I am hoping that the remainder of this essay helps me to not only mold the perfect image of my future wife, but to also discover the qualities that I admire the most about people.

Creating my ideal spouse can be very similar to customising a character on a video game.  First things first, appearance must be established before moving forward.  Although appearance is clearly not the chief quality of an attractive person, it still makes up approximately 26% of my personalized “Model Wife” scale.  To begin, this woman must be between 5’1” and 5’11.25” tall.  Pretty easy requirement to meet, right?  That should qualify just about every single female in this room right now.  Don’t worry ladies, you’re all being considered in one way or another.  I may sound like a schmuck right now, but I can assure you that the man behind these words is still a complete schmuck, granted he is slightly less arrogant.  Anyways, back to the assignment at hand.  To tell you the truth, I am indifferent to many of the other basic characteristics such as complexion or hair color.  I am more picky when it comes to the specifics.  For example, it is a necessity that she has a ginormous smile unlike any other.  Also, she must keep her fingernails trimmed because women with lengthy fingernails are extremely intimidating.  Lastly, strikingly distinct hairdos are always a plus.  That just about wraps up my few major prerequisites under the category of appearances.

Next in line is what I believe to be an exceedingly undervalued quality.  Intelligence is essential to any beautiful woman.  It makes up approximately 21% of the “Model Wife” scale.  In my case, I wish for her to be college educated at the very least, and up to date on enough of the worldly issues to be able to maintain a respectable conversation with my politically-active uncle.  On the topic of college education, I would be thrilled to have a wife who made more money than me.  Even moreso, I would be simply delighted with a wife who made good meatloaf.  Compatibility is key, so being open-minded and non-judgemental are certain crucial forms of intelligence that must be exhibited.  As long as we can understand each other, I will be content.

The only mandatory quality other than femininity is personality---in that they must have one to even be taken into consideration in the first place.  This portion of the “Model Wife” pie chart fills up almost 35% of it.  Anyone who can get along with my disapproving brother automatically passes the test.  Further evaluation is performed by me, and it consists of a different type of test.  You may have heard the phrase “opposites attract” and I believe this saying to be absolutely true.  I’m sarcastic, so she must be sincere.  I have a dark and grim sense of humor, so she must have a light and fluffy sense of humor.  I’m a procrastinator, so she must be on top of things.  Not everything applies to this concept since there must be some commonalities to keep the relationship going, but for the most part I can expect to look for someone who abides by those guidelines.  She’ll be the genius to my schmuck.  Having these little differences is guaranteed to keep the marriage interesting to say the least.

The last leading class of qualities that would be evident in my idealistic partner falls under a group I like to call “Other”.  The “Other” section combines any of the attractive values that don’t classify with the three previously mentioned groups.  It is made up of the final 18% and some change.  This includes features such as her athleticism (fit), her track record (clean), and whether she likes Chinese food or not (she better).  Above these things, though, my wife has to share similar ambitions to my own.  I would like to take extravagant trips someday and explore the different cultures of the world, and I am looking for someone who would be along for the ride.  Also on this list is how well she gets along with my family.  My family is of utmost importance to me, so it is vital that she is able to get along with, get to know, and learn to become one of them.  On the most serious note, however, is the effect this person will have one me.  I want to have an unparalleled feeling when in her presence.  I want her to be there for me to lighten my stressed mood by cracking a corny joke.  I want us to be able to understand each other without even saying a word.  Overall, I want her to make me the happiest man I can be.  Anyone who can fulfill those tasks deserves to fill the role as my ideal spouse on the spot.

An ideal spouse can be different for everyone, and this essay has really helped me to pinpoint the qualities that serve as priorities in my opinion.  This piece has helped me to realize that happiness is the most powerful principal to living a good life and having a successful marriage.  If I had the option between a woman who could provide me happiness as opposed to the stout Mexican cleaning lady in my mother’s workplace, there is no question that I would choose happiness ten times out of ten...on second thought, make that eight.