Dear Grammy,

I miss you, a lot. I’m seventeen now, and a lot has changed since I saw you last. I don’t play soccer anymore. I couldn’t stand to be on that field, look toward the crowd and not see you. I actually cheerlead. Funny, right? Something I never thought I was going to do. I’m actually very good at it. I’m the flyer, which is the girl they throw up in the air. It’s a lot of fun. I made varsity this year, too! I hope you’re proud of me.

The other day, I looked back at pictures with mommy. I was looking through the ones of you. You’re so beautiful. I found some of you on your trip with grandpa to Aruba. And I saw some of you with the whole family on Long Beach Island. Then I found the ones of us. The ones of me lying on your chest when I was just an infant, the ones of you reading to me, and the ones of us dancing. How I loved to dance with you, Grammy. I found one from your garage, me dressed up in all your white silk slips and dancing and singing to ABBA. You used to set up chairs for you, grandpa, mommy, daddy, Uncle Kevin and Aunt Tracy to watch. I always loved to perform. I miss your house; after grandpa sold it we’ve just been going to L.B.I. in the summer. Don’t get me wrong, I love L.B.I. It’s just, there was something about your house. The way it smelled and waking up, going to the playground with grandpa and then going to the beach. I still remember exactly the way it used to look. I found a picture of you and me singing, probably to dancing queen. You looked like you were having so much fun. I still have roast beef and cheese! I remember that’s all I would ever eat at your house. I would call that brand of cheese “Grammy’s cheese.” I’m getting choked up writing this, to be honest. I miss this all so much.

There’s so much I need to tell you. I got my license, I can drive now! Remember how much I always wanted to? My dad is obviously freaking out and my mom, well, you know how she is. I had braces for a year and a half; I looked pretty funny with those. You probably would have laughed at me! I got them off freshman year of high school. I surf, Grammy. You remember how I always dreamed of being a professional surfer! Well, I can now! Like I said; I quit soccer two years ago, it just wasn’t as fun anymore. I began cheerleading freshman year. The first time I tried out I made it! Like you used to tell me, I can do anything. Well I realize that now. And I finally made varsity cheerleading this year, my junior year. I became one of the top flyers and I can do all sorts of death defying stunts. You would love them! But now I’m in my junior year of high school, which means things are getting serious. I’m looking at colleges. You would have been such a big help with that. I’m looking to become a forensic scientist. You know how much I love solving crimes and doctor stuff. I’m studying a lot this year and I have been getting really good grades. I hope you would be proud of me. I have an amazing group of friends, too. You would absolutely love them. You remember Alana? The little blonde girl that was my best friend in kindergarten? Well, she’s still my best friend-more like my sister! You would love the amazing girl she became. She sort of reminds me of you, free spirited, helpful, and beautiful. I’m making good choices, Grammy. I think about you every time I have a decision to make and wonder if you would be proud.

I miss my best friend. The one I would come crying to who would hold me. The one I would laugh and joke around with, the one I would just live my life as a child with. I brought out the child in you and that made me the happiest little girl in the world. You danced and sang with me. You played baseball and brought me to the beach and threw me in the ocean and swam with me. Everything I could ever want from a grandparent. You and grandpa were so in love. Every time something happened with a boy, when my heart was broken, I just thought of you two. How you two met when you were a sophomore and grandpa was a senior. You stayed together from then until, well, ya know.

I still look up to you, both metaphorically and literally. I hope you’re proud of me, Grammy. I’ve done all this for you, for you to smile and tell great grandma how proud you both are of me. I love you and miss you every single day. It’s been over five years and every day I think about you. I’m doing a walk for cancer, just for you. Anything for you. I miss you and I can’t wait to see you again. Rest in peace.









Love,

Shannon.