1) Don't walk. Jog. You will still not be moving at the pace of an average New Yorker.

2) Do Roll your eyes at the "I ??NY" tee shirt-wearing tourists who walk on the left. Say Ugh, typical under your breath while making a mental note to always walk on the right.

3)Don't stop walking when climbing up or down the subway stairs. It doesn't matter if you are 95% sure you're in the wrong borough. Just keep jogging.

4)Don't go to Times Square. As much as you may think that New Yorkers shop there, and as much as your next door neighbor insists that they do, they don't. Pinky swear.

5)Don't go to a chain restaurant. You are in New York City, not Atlanta for Godsake. I'm sorry. That was mean. I've never been to Atlanta, I'm sure they have great cuisine.

6) Don't be a jerk. The person whose cab you just intercepted has somewhere to be too. SoHo can wait my friend, but a job interview can't.

7)Do be assertive. Know what you want. If you want to get a caramel macchiato, cool. Awesome. If you want to get a "uh,hmm, well...", don't. It's not on the menu.

8)Don't stare. Yes, that lady is nursing her baby on the subway. That guy is most definitely wearing a purple wig. It's okay. For all you know, you are just as strange looking.

9)Do take everything in stride. Missed your bus? Whatever, catch the next one. Your teenage daughter ran off with that barista who winked at her in Chelsea? Bit of a setback, but you'll figure it out. You are "living" the best city in the world.