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Fears Hidden in a Passport
When I think about my childhood, I often think back to cartoons, junk food, and early bed times. What doesn’t cross my mind is fear or neglect. Unfortunately that is everything my mom thinks of when someone brings up childhood. Growing up, my mother lived in Korea. She was born there and raised by her grandmother. She had some good times with her until her grandma, like every grandma does, got really old. She was taken at the age of 10, and got put into a foster home. She never saw her grandma after that.
1 out of 4 Korean girls in foster homes end up in sex slavery. That was my mom’s absolute worst fear. Unfortunately her fears began to pile up like homework. She went through years of abuse. Physical and mental. She felt as if she was stick in a permanent stage of neglect. She started to self-harm. She thought that that was her only means of an escape. She was reaching the brink of her breaking point.
Just when she thought things couldn’t get worse, they did. The foster home she was currently stayed with had gotten tired of her, and left her at a subway station one evening. She cried and cried. She was only 10 years old, and got stuck in a place where there were a million people. A subway full of a million people and not one of them even glanced her way. Until one old lady finally did. She began interrogating my mom asking why she was alone down there. She proceeded to take her to a new foster home. She was very displeased with her decision. She only thought the abuse would start again.
On January 12, 1986 she was adopted. Never would she have thought this day would come. She was adopted by a couple named Pete and Barbara. My mother didn’t speak any English but a little smile of hope leaked out of the corner of her mouth. Even though she was thrilled to get adopted, her fears still lived inside her.
The adopting process was going by fast. She had to get a passport before she could actually go home with the couple. March 24 was when she was on her way to America with her new family. She began building up more hope as the hours on the plain went by. They finally got to America. She was so scared and it was a huge culture shock. As she began living day by day she soon realized it was nothing like Korea. She knew this was home for her.
She has only one thing left from the place that left her scarred, her passport. She looked though it a lot and it just reminded her of what used to happen. That was all done away with now. She has a nice family, a roof over her head, and most importantly, love. She shouldn’t let this one little booklet remind her of the past. She finally tucks this passport away forever, along with her fears.
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