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Candies and Goblins
Author's note:
Erin likes to read and write.
Ever since Angela could remember, she hadn’t been allowed to eat her Halloween candy because her mom said, “Honey, candy is for skinny people.”
And then Mom would give her entire treasure stash to her little brother—including the Cookies & Cream Hershey bars, which she loved most.
Ever since Angela could remember, her hands were in the cookie jar and she had no problem finishing all of her food. Until one day, her mom began to scold her for being chubby. Even her friends would call her an oompa-loompa which made Angela cry in secret at night under the covers.
Angela didn’t have the usual nightmares of a fanged beast stalking her or monsters under the bed.
Instead, she would dream of soon-du-bu stew (순두부찌개), steaming beef brisket and soft tofu stew flecked with red chili oil, bubbling in a hot stone pot on a stove across the room.
Salivating, Angela would run toward the cake and stew—only to discover her rug was a tar pit. Not to be deterred, inch-by-inch, she’d strain against the sticky black goo that had trapped the dinosaurs until she finally touched the pot, only to find the floor opening up beneath her as she fell off a skyscraper...and awoke with her stomach growling...again.
Other times, she dreamt she was living in a world made of all the Halloween candy Mom had made her give to Tyler. As she traipsed down a Twix bar road, she plucked tart Strawberry Lemonade Nerds, juicy Lemon Starbursts, and chocolatey Kit Kats from low-hanging branches as she made her way toward her Everest of Ice Cream that called to her like a treacherous siren. But just as she finished climbing to the apex of whipped cream, Angela would wake up, almost tasting the tart cherry pop into her mouth.
Angela absolutely hated waking up. Waking up meant she’d had to come back to the reality of her life: starting with her Mom’s “Lettuce Special” breakfast.
“Good morning!” Her family chirped brightly as she stumbled down the stairs, still half-asleep.
“Hmph.” She replied back. As usual, Mom, Dad, and Tyler had started off the summer day downing delicious, oozing peanut-butter-and jelly sandwiches. Meanwhile, Angela stared down at her lonely lettuce and a huddle of baby carrots. Lately, all Angela had been eating was lettuce. Lettuce breakfast, lettuce lunch, and lettuce dinner. Barely any sauce.
It was the latest of many diet plans Mom had Angela test. According to Mom, Angela's fat would melt like milk chocolate on a hot day-- that is, if she followed the diet perfectly.
Perfectly, perfectly...all she needed was to do everything perfectly. But Angela couldn’t resist asking:
“May I have another teaspoonful of ranch please?”
Her mother looked at her sternly.
“You know the answer.”
Angela moaned as she started crunching on lettuce.
It seemed that Mom was being stricter, but it was probably because they were going to Korea soon. Grandma always encouraged Angela to eat as much as she wanted. Mom tried to make Angela lose weight in advance to minimize the net weight gain the trip caused.
A couple days later, Angela’s mother shook her awake before the sun colored the sky pink. Angela remained inert in her bed. It was so cold, and the sheets were so warm. Angela was dozing off in the embrace of her fluffy blankets when —
“Hurry and get dressed! We need to get to the airport by 7!” Her mother yanked off the comforters, directing cold morning air right to Angela.
The airport? Korea? Grandma!
Angela jumped out of her bed, scrambling to brush her teeth and wash her face simultaneously. She pulled on a pair of sweatpants backwards and a hoodie, flying
into the car before the rest of her family members.
Mom, Dad, and Tyler filed calmly out of the house, each holding their ham-and-cheese sandwiches. Mom gave Angela a lettuce salad, and the long-awaited drive to the airport commenced.
The flight to Korea was everything that Angela expected: movies, peanuts, pretzels galore. But once her eyes got red and sore from staring unblinkingly at the small monitor in front of her, she shut her eyes and fell into a deep sleep.
The next time she opened her eyes, the flight had landed. The family sped through the customs and baggage claims, renting a car for the drive to grandma's house.
As the cloud-crowned skyscrapers shrank, the buildings outside the car window grew more and more weatherbeaten. After driving away from the airport for half and hour, the landscape outside rose into a familiar forested mountain,
and the road grew curvier. As the car turned a bend, Angela saw Grandma's house tucked between the towering greenery and the rushing river passing around it.
The family tumbled out of the car, stretching their muscles as they unloaded their luggage. Out of the hanok (한옥) a traditional Korean house, three figures walked out to greet them.
Aunt Kim beamed. Her smile hardened as she scanned Angela up and down as she got closer.
“An-gel-a! You got chubbier!”
Uncle Kim chimed in.
“You should lose some weight. Make sure to wear sunscreen too — your skin got so dark.”
Visits to Korea were always like this. Angela's Aunt and Uncle were very particular in appearance — Koreans liked their girls skinny, well-mannered, and light-skinned.
“Hey! Hey! Stop it.” Grandma shot Uncle and Aunt a cold look, wrapping Angela in her arms.
“She’s beautiful just the way she is. Who cares about weight and skin color? Angela is perfect.”
And as always, Grandma saved her.
Aunt and Uncle Kim had drove over from their house in Seoul to give their greetings. Angela was happy to see them, but she never got used to their comments about her belly, no matter how true they were. Sure, her appetite only seemed to increase, and her love for playing out in the sun tanned her skin a permanent golden brown.
But when Aunt and Uncle spoke in that disapproving tone, Angela always wished she could alter her image into Snow White.
Aunt and Uncle believed that being skinny and light-skinned were prerequisites to beauty. But Angela’s grandma, her Halmoni, grasped both of her hands and lowered her voice to a whisper, like she was about to tell her a secret.
"Remember what I told you about dokkaebi? The one who lives by our house?”
"That he gives nice people good things?”
"Uh-huh!” Grandma winked.
"So what if I’m nice? I don’t get it. I won’t be skinny or pretty anyways.” Angela frowned.
Earlier in the afternoon, Angela spent time with grandma outside gardening and exploring in the humid hundred degree heat.
Once Angela had found enough rocks for her rock collection, they retired to the living room, the coolest part of the house. There wasn't anything particularly special, save a strange blue-gray rock she found in the river.
Little did she know what the rock contained.
Uncle Kim, Aunt Kim, and Tyler were watching the TV: the latest evening Korean drama that was playing. In another room, Angela’s mother consulted another of her
books about weight loss for children, no doubt to enforce another diet plan onto Angela. Her Dad sat at the kitchen table replying to his work emails.
But on the sticky wooden floor, Angela peeled chilled tangerines as her Halmoni told her mind-boggling stories of Korean mythology. It was somewhat of a tradition: since she was small, Angela would spend time following her grandma around, pestering her for continuations of folktales she already knew by heart. As always, Angela requested a retelling of the tales of the dokkaebi.
“You know, sometimes, they grant you wishes.”
“So dokkaebi are like genies?”
“Genie? I don’t know what a genie is."
Angela’s grandma spoke in Korean.
Sometimes, Angela didn’t know the strange words her grandma used, and her grandma couldn’t understand when Angela talked about Scooby-Doo and Charlie Brown, American cartoon characters. So Angela’s mother would often be called in to translate.
“Genies are spirits — and they grant you
three wishes. And they live in golden lamps.”
“No, dokkaebi are different. Dokkaebi are always watching people, always hiding.”
“Hiding?”
“Hiding. In brooms and pots and rocks and trees, anything. They watch humans. They punish the bad folks and reward the good. That’s why you should always be good, even when no one seems to be looking.”
“So how do they grant wishes?” Angela asked as she popped a tangerine into her mouth. Juice squirted out as she chewed it.
Halmoni’s eyes twinkled, the way they did when she had something good to tell.
“Dokkaebi carry around a magical bat, and it gives them all their power. That’s why you should never try to steal a dokkaebi’s bat. A long, long time ago, one man grew jealous of the dokkaebi and all his powers. He was a selfish man, a rich farmer, but he wanted more wealth for himself. He made a terrible plan to hunt down all dokkaebi in his village, and steal all their bats. He gathered all his neighbors, and together, they went searching.”
Halmoni paused, noticing Angela’s reaction.
“Of course, it didn’t work. What did they expect? Dokkaebi are masters of trickery. You can’t beat the masters at their own game.”
“Woah...do you think I’ll meet a dokkaebi someday? They sound pretty cool—but scary too!”
Halmoni’s eyes creased as she smiled, knowingly.
“What do you think?” she said.
That very night, Angela swore she saw a figure next to her closet. Halmoni's stories must have been getting to her. As the edges of her vision blurred black, Angela’s fading thoughts kept going back to her grandma’s story of the dokkaebi.
The next day passed in a blur, in a similar fashion as the first. In the evening, as the entire family ate dinner, Halmoni again demanded for Angela to be allowed to eat normal food. She had boiled a pot of kimchi stew (김치찌개), and grilled thin slices of fatty pork-belly to a crisp. Colorful vegetable side dish, known as banchan (반찬), adorned the table beside the main dishes.
“This is outrageous! A lettuce leaf meal? How is that healthy?” As predicted, Halmoni gave Angela had double the amount of rice as anybody else. Angela ate twice as enthusiastically as well.
But swallowing the mouthful of rice in her mouth, Angela squeezed out,
“Mom, can I sleep in your room tonight?”
Angela’s Mom put down her spoon and picked up her chopsticks. She reached over to the pot of kimchi-jjigae and picked out a strand of kimchi. She laid it over her rice-bowl, pinching the rice up with it and forming a little bundle.
“I don’t think so. You need to get used to sleeping by yourself. You’re almost a sixth grader, remember?”
Angela opened her mouth to protest, but Halmoni dropped in the kimchi-rice package. Still chewing, Angela spooned some tofu and broth from the jjigae pot.
She sipped the broth, but deposited the tofu into her rice bowl.
“But the monster will come in, and bite my toes off”—Angela halved the cube of tofu with her spoon—“like this!”
Umma exchanged a look with her dad. Next to her, Halmoni laughed. Umma continued:
“Monsters aren’t real. Nothing to be scared
of. But why are you talking about them all of a sudden? Is it because—” she gave a pained look to Halmoni.
“Don’t tell Angela scary stories; look what happened.”
Little did her mother know, ever since Angela had come to visit Halmoni in her house two days ago, a peculiar figure had been coming into the bedroom. Angela wanted her mother to stay in the bedroom just so she would see him once he came out.
“Don’t furrow your eyebrows. You’ll get wrinkles,” Aunt Kim commented.
“I don’t care.” Angela bunched her eyebrows further and stabbed a chopstick into a fish cake banchan. Umma harrumphed as she placed sigeumchi (시금치) — boiled spinach seasoned with sesame oil — on Angela’s bowl.
Angela despised spinach, almost as much as she did lettuce.
“Eat more vegetables. You know, if you eat vegetables, the monster won’t lay a hand on you.” Her Halmoni reassured her, winking at her mother.
“Vegetables make you skinnier too!” Aunt and Uncle Kim spoke in unison.
Angela begrudgingly picked another piece of spinach and shoved it in her mouth.
That night, after Angela climbed into bed, she could have sworn she saw a dark monster-like shadow next to her grandma’s bookshelf move. And the night after, and the night after that.
On the fourth day, Angela woke up blurry eyed. Rubbing the crust from her eyes, or (눈꼽) as her grandma called it, she flopped back down onto her pillow, sighing. It was a Saturday morning, which meant she could sleep a bit longer.
As she rolled over to the unruffled cool side of her bed, she became aware that there was another person in her room, standing next to the closet.
Tyler? Her brother liked ambushing her when she least expected it — oftentimes, it was when Angela was half-awake.
“Ugh, Tyler. Go away,” she groaned, her voice raspy. No response. No movement either, which was weird. Tyler would have cannon-balled on her by now.
She rubbed her eyes, trying to get them to focus. Was Tyler wearing a bodysuit? His entire skin was blue. Or — Angela screamed.
The person jumped up and scurried to the bookshelf, diving into Angela’s rock collection. He...disappeared? Into her rock?
Angela bolted up, shocked. She scrambled out of her sheets and shouted to her rock collection with no one in sight.
“Monster! There’s a monster in my room!”
An indignant voice replied in Korean, “I’m a dokkaebi! Get it right!”
And she realized. The monster, no, creature had leapt into her rock. A rock she found in her grandma’s garden. Blue, flecked with grey and white — almost like the thing’s skin!
Angela cackled.
"Impossible.What am I thinking? I'm still asleep!" Angela said to herself, burying herself back in bed.
But though she closed her eyes, nothing
happened.
"No-no, I just need to count to 10. Count to ten and it'll be back to normal."
Angela counted to ten, her eyes still pressed shut.
"What are you doing? Stop being so dumb."
Angela opened her eyes. She'd never been called dumb in her dreams before.
“So what do you know about dokkaebi?” He raised a bushy eyebrow suspiciously.
“My grandma told me about you guys.”
She apologized, “Sorry. I thought you were some kind of evil monster.”
“Well, it wasn’t very nice of you to assume that,” He sniffed.
Angela squirmed uncomfortably. She remembered what grandma said about dokkaebi punishing the wicked and rewarding the good. She wasn’t sure if she had been on her best behaviour during her visit. What about the time she snuck candy out of Tyler’s backpack?
“Are you going to punish me?” The dokkaebi squinted at her.
“No.”
There was a pop and the dokkaebi was standing in front of her. His whole body was blue and grey, and he was wearing furry shorts but no shirt. He held a wooden bat in his right hand.
He scratched his head and yawned, his mouth opening up a blue cave.
“If you aren't going to punish me... well, my grandma told me you guys grant wishes," Angela sheepishly asked, "Can you really?”
He shrugged a maybe. “It depends on the person, and the wish.”
“Can you give me one?” Angela asked breathlessly.The dokkaebi paused.
“Well, what do you want?” Angela
recalled her Aunt and Uncle’s comments. Would she really look beautiful like that?
“I want to have light skin,” she said. The dokkaebi frowned.
“Are you sure? You can’t take it back.”
Angela nodded, unwavered. The dokkaebi sighed, tapping his spiked bat against the floor. A great shower of sparkling stars rained down in the room, attaching to her skin and melting. She watched in amazement as her skin grew lighter and lighter until it was almost paper-white.
“If you really go through with the wish, this is what you’ll look like,” He said. “Basically, I’m giving you a free trial.”
She ran to the mirror and looked at herself.
“Oh.” Her voice went flat with disappointment, and her new face fell. The person in the mirror frowned.
She looked funny. Not bad, but just too different. It was just plain old Angela, but in different color.
Still looking at the mirror, she muttered,
“You know what...Make me skinny too.”
The dokkaebi shrugged. “Sure.”
A gale gusted even thought they were inside, whirling her around until she could no longer hold her balance. Looking down at her arms, the fat underneath her skin was whittling down!
The dokkaebi snapped his fingers, and the gale died as quickly as it appeared.
Angela turned back to the mirror and peered at herself closely. It was light Angela, except now she was skinny. And there was a horrible emptiness in her stomach — like she hadn't eaten for days.
She frowned again.“Wait a second. I don't think—”
She turned back to the dokkaebi.
"I don't think this is right. I feel even more starved than before. Being hungry doesn't make me satisfied."
She grinned.
"I'll be more specific. Make me pretty!"
The dokkaebi nodded, slowly. He snapped
his fingers once more.
There weren't any stars this time, and there
wasn't any wind. No crackling lightning. No magic at all.
When Angela opened her eyes, she saw her true self staring right back at the mirror.
Confused, Angela turned around to—
The dokkaebi was gone, a smooth gray stone left on the floor.
Angela wondered why the dokkaebi didn't grant her the wish this time. How could he turn her back to her real self after wishing for her to become pretty. Angela was annoyed as much as she was starved.
Then it dawned on her...
"Hey dokkaebi, I have an idea."
Angela tapped the speckled stone on her bookshelf and waited.
The dokkaebi popped out again, head first. He plopped down on the floor besides Angela's bed.
“I was sleeping,” He grumbled.
"Mom and grandma are going grocery
shopping, but I thought that I could use your help to make everyone go grocery shopping."
"Huh? Why?"
"Because. If everyone goes away, I can eat whatever I want."
The dokkaebi sat, thinking.
“Can you do that for me?” Angela asked.
“That's not that hard to do. Sure.”
The dokkaebi drew out his bat from the air, and tapped it three times on the floor.
"Watch this," he said, a smile stretching his blue-purple lips.
Angela watched in amazement as life around her sped up. Flies pinballed from wall to wall, their wings letting out a high buzzing pitch. The clock mounted on the wall clicked faster, each minute passing as a second. Angela crept over the ridge of the door frame, into the living room. She gasped.
Her family was moving in stop-motion frames, glitchy, like when a movie is sped up too fast. Aunt, Uncle, Mom, Dad, Tyler, and even Grandma moved like clockwork, emerging from their respective rooms, marching through
the hallways and across the threshold of the house. They packed into Grandma's minivan, tight, like sardines in a tin container. The minivan wheeled clouds of yellow dirt into the air before zooming over to the pitted asphalt road.
The dokkaebi was watching with her.
"They'll be back in 24 hours. Don't worry, "
Angela nodded. It was time to eat.
The dokkaebi drew out his bat from the air, once more, and waved it around in the air.
"Wish for whatever you want, and it will appear."
Angela shouted, "Chocolate-chip cookie!"
A chocolate-chip cookie appeared.
"Turkey and gravy!"
A large turkey with crispy brown skin appeared, a floating white pitcher pouring a stream of gravy over it.
"Awesome." Angela smacked her lips. She conjured everything she could think of. The whole McDonald's menu, an entire array of fried chicken and wings, various flavors of boba and slushies. Mountains of ice cream,
piles of candy, and a swimming pool of fondant chocolate.
The dokkaebi was watching her,
"I think that your mom was trying to make you eat healthy. Not as much making you lose weight, but more of helping you eat healthy.""What do you mean?"
"A lot of the stuff you wanted to eat was plain junk food. Sure, they taste good, but they're not healthy. I think your mom was trying to have you lose the unnecessary weight you gained from eating junk food. Cuz otherwise you might get health problems."
Angela considered this. Could this be true? What about all those times when Angela's mom tried to put her on diets? Were they just for making her healthier?
"Well, Aunt and Uncle Kim say that I'm not pretty because I'm not skinny or light-skinned."
"Aunt and Uncle Kim are just narrow-minded," the dokkaebi sighed. "They have a specific image of what they think is beautiful, and they don't want to accept that beauty takes
different forms. It's something they need to fix by themselves. Your mom, on the other hand, cares about your health. Ever wondered why all her diets made you eat vegetables? Because you never eat them on your own!"
"But still...I hate eating mostly lettuce!"
"You need to tell your mom that."
An idea rooted in Angela's head.
"I'm too scared to tell her what I think. Can you give me the courage to talk to my mom about it?"
"Is that what you really want to wish for?"
"Yes." Angela replied.
The dokkaebi nodded, then smiled.
"Mom, can I have a talk with you?"Angela mustered.
Angela's mother (and the rest of her family) had gotten back from the 24-hour grocery trip disoriented.
"Sure. About what?"
Angela glanced at the dokkaebi hiding behind the couch. He flashed a thumbs-up.
"About my diets. And how bad I feel when I'm on them. I know you're trying to make me healthier, but eating only veggies makes me unhappy."
"What do you want to do?"
"Eat other things too. Healthy things, I mean."
To Angela's amazement, her mother agreed saying, "I know just giving you lettuce has been hard on you."
She agreed to include other vegetables like mushroom and corn adding tasty fruits like strawberries and watermelon too!
Just like that, it was over. The period of lettuce-only cuisine came to an end in Angela's life.
The dokkaebi, now hanging from the light fixture, whispered to her:
"Go to Aunt and Uncle Kim!"
So she went to Aunt and Uncle Kim, who were watching soap operas in the living room.
"Aunt Kim? Uncle Kim? Can I tell you something?"
They looked at her.
"I don't like it when you tell me to lose weight. I don't like it when you tell me to lighten my skin. I know you think girls need to be skinny and pale to be pretty, but I think I'm fine just the way I am, so I'd like it if you stop telling me to change."
She ran into another room before hearing their response.
"Whew. I'd have never had the courage to do that without your help," Angela said to the dokkaebi.
He smiled sheepishly.
"Actually, it was all you this time. I decided not to grant you your wish."
"But why?" Angela wondered.
"I knew you had courage inside. Everyone does. You just needed a small push."
Angela swelled, heart brimming with awe. She'd done it. She'd stood up for herself somehow.
Angela took the dokkaebi's hand in hers. It was strangely cool, wet like a river stone.
"I want you to meet my Halmoni," she said.
Back in America, Angela and her mother created a comprehensive meal plan that included a variety of foods: vegetables, proteins, and oils. A balanced, satisfying diet for the whole family — that is, the whole family including Tyler, Dad, and Mom. Instead of Angela being singled out, this time, mom made sure to provide Angela the support she really needed.
Aunt and Uncle Kim stayed as they were because some people just don't change.
As for her grandma, Angela's beloved Halmoni, she found a new stone-skinned, river-dwelling companion to play go-stop, or matgo (맞고), with.
Yes, the dokkaebi stayed in Korea and Angela went back to America. But don't worry. They have grown to be the best of friends.
How you ask?
The dokkaebi still visits Angela in her dreams.
He's a magical creature after all.
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