I've only read the first chapter, but I really like it so far. I only have a few things that could be fixed. First of all, the fact that the dialogue is all in one paragraph sometimes confuses me as to whose speaking, so maybe separate those. It would look a lot clearner, for one, and I just find it easier to read.

Secondly, I found Mandisa wasn't as upset as she should have been about her mother's death. I guess maybe try to add a sense of sympathy for the character, because although I'm sad that  her mother died, I can't really feel the sympathy to its full extent. Maybe bring up more memories of  her?

Alright, that is my critique. I haven't read the whole thing, so maybe you've already done some of the things I've suggested. Sorry I can't get to it now! I'm kind of busy, but hopefully I will soon. 

I just wanted to say that I really like this story so far, and I think you have great promise as a writer. The plot is interesting, though a little bit vague where I am, but I can't wait to read some more. :)