The lady that was talking to my aunt said she would drive my friends and I over to aunt May’s house so we didn’t have to walk any father, and so she could explain a little bit more about what happened to my parents to my aunt. On the way over to my aunts no one really said anything. I sat in the front with Anna. She tried to get me to talk a little bit but I was still so shaken up I could not even attempt to speak, the only words I got out was thank you for doing this and thank you for trying to help me out with this. She replied back with thank you and then I told her to turn right here that my aunt’s house was two-houses down on the left past the barn. When we pulled in the drive Anna looked at me and said go see your aunt and I’ll be there in just a minute. I got out and went, well I ran to the front door and just started balling again and so did my aunt when she opened the door. She reached out and game me a great big bear hug tighter than she ever has any time I’ve seen her before but now there is a good reason for one. My friends were standing behind me and my aunt called out upon them to come there and give her a hug too, so they all did and then they started crying.

If momma was still here she would have loved her funeral and so would daddy. Aunt May and I found the perfect caskets for them so elegant and just amazing; my dads had a barn seen above it with cows and chickens and an old barn house and mommas had roses and a picture of all of us together that I put in the background of the casket. We had pink tulips and red roses all over the place because momma really liked those flowers. We had set out one of my dad’s favorite paintings that he did one time when we were fishing at the lake; He painted me and momma fishing it was so beautiful. There was so many people here it was unbelievable. We had both of there funerals the same day and they were to be berried beside each other. I could about bet there was over 600 people there, every one was crying it looked like.

I didn’t know what to do, I was starting to really get upset again; Seeing my mom and dad there, so still, it looked as if they were simply taking a nap. My momma was so pretty, she had a white dress on, and her make-up was so perfect it looked flawless except someone had kissed her and put red lipstick on the side of her check but I fixed it. Dad had his black tux on and he looked very stunning they both did.

It seamed right after I took one last look at them I herd the song if I die young come over the speakers and I knew it was time to say good-bye to them. I was hoping this time would never come because every one started crying including me and it was so unlike me to cry but at this moment there was no holding it back at any cost.

I happened to glance up because I had just sat down on the front row and seen my pasture mike standing there. He looked at me and said would you like to say anything before we close the caskets. I said yes if I can I would really like that. He said ok well follow me up and I will let you start talking to everyone.

When I got up there I took a deep breath and said thank you everyone that came today for the gathering of my parents. I said each and every one of us came in this world alone but I can truly say my parents left together. I - I - I will miss them so very much and I bet a lot of you will to. I’m still very young and am having to go threw this but I think we will all get threw this if we all stay together and don’t fall apart because of it, we are all one big happy family and I will always say that till the day I’m up here in this position my parents are in.

When they shut the caskets and had all the men from both sides stand and come grab a side to take to the car’s to place them inside before we were to go to the cemetery they would be burred at. As they were doing that I asked my aunt if it would be ok if I just walked back to her house because I didn’t want to go to the burial site today that I needed time to myself to calm down a bit. She told me yes and gave me an extra set of keys she had mad the day before so I would have some and told me not to loose them going home. I said thanks and left.

I started walking home then I seen this tree I always used to play around when I was a really young girl. I sat down beside it and closed my eyes for a second and started remembering stuff that used to go on at this tree. I remember coming here when I was 5 years old and telling momma that this was my tree that no one else could have it and we put our names in the tree. I opened my eyes and looked around for were my mothers name and mine was. When I found it I started to cry slightly because of so many memories of momma and me and dad too. This was our tree our family tree this tree was the one thing that was suppose to keep us together always and now were apart. It seamed as if I had been under that tree forever when I was only there for bout 30 minutes.

I had a knife on my side were my waistline was for my pants. I pulled it out and just looked at it. My dad gave me this knife when we went hunting about 3 months ago. I just kept looking at it then my hand just liked twitched and I dropped my knife and it cut my leg. When I picked it up I noticed the cut on my leg it was not bad and it didn’t hurt…that’s when it hit me what I was going to do. I took and scratched a new symbol in the tree with my knife then I did the same thing on my arm. It was not a very smart thing because I went to draw a cross on my arm and it cut one of the major veins and I blacked out.

The next thing I knew was I was sitting up in a bed with two nurses standing beside me and one was wrapping my arm in some type of a tape. I looked at them and said what’s going on were am I? They looked at me and said you’re in a hospital and you cut your arm pretty badly with that knife you had. Your aunt got worried and started calling people to see if you were at their house or anything and when no one had seen you she came looking and she found you under that old tree up the road and she brought you straight to us. You’ve, gave every one a big scare you have been out for 2 days now. OMG have I really been out that long? Where’s my aunt? I want her was she? She had to go home for a little it we were getting you fixed up she will be back in a little bit she’s been here since she brought you in here the other night. O lord can I please call her to let her know I’m awake now. Yes go ahead the phones beside you. Hey aunt may I’ve woke up as you can tell I’m sorry for doing what I did please don’t worry I’ll be fine you should just stay home if you want to I’ll be fine. About 2 seconds after I said that she walked in and I hung up the phone. I just called the house you didn’t have to come back I’m ok I really am. She looked at me and said child why did you try doing that what were you thinking. I told her the whole thing about that being momma and dads and my tree and that I had carved a cross in the tree and was trying to do the same thing to my arm but it went bad. I told her I wanted that on me so I would never forget them so they would always be with me when I needed them there. She looked at me and said honey they will always be with you in your heart they are probably looking upon you right now and wondering what you were doing all this for. They will always be with you during school, when you’re doing homework, when you’re in church. They are going to be there when ever you need them. You may not see them, but if you look hard enough you will see them in your mind. They’re not going any were baby girl I promises you that. Their spiret will be with you if you just think about them. Thanks. All of a sudden a woman walked in the room and asked to speak with Aunt May for a minute. They went outside the room and all I could see was there figures I didn’t know what was going on I was starting to get worried. I knew they were talking about me and it was freaking me out. All of a sudden I could here every thing it was like everything else had stopped doing anything then my Aunt May walked back in only this time the other women came in with her and took one of the seats on the end of my bed and sat down and introduced her to me. Hi my name is Kayla I’m with a therapist office and we would like to get you in for a meeting. What you done have given everyone a scare and we don’t want you to be doing that kind of stuff you are very lucky you didn’t kill yourself. Well I wish I did in some ways, Kassy don’t you ever say that I never want you to say that. Thank you May I was about to say the same thing. Child you are lucky she found you when she did you could have really died and no one needs that I know you are going through a hard time and everything right now because of your parents but don’t take it out on yourself please. If you would like I would like to give you my card; I would like you and your aunt to come by sometime to meet with me so I can see how your doing and we can talk a little bit, it will help you out a lot. Please think about it and tell me if that will be ok my numbers on the card call me if that will work out.