I never really understood why bad things happen to good people. I live in this beautiful city, beaches surrounding me, I hear waves crashing in my sleep. Everyday we go to put our feet in the sand, relieving the stress just from wiggling our toes into the fine, grainy earth. The sunset has always been the time where him and I watch another day go, we have learned what to expect each day by our observing eyes watching the sky go down in phases. Fist gold, like the ends of his soft hair. Then orange, like his favorite t-shirt. To a soft pink like his face when he blushes. Then to purple like my body when I’m cold. And dark grey like my skin. And by the time I’m done dreaming, the sky is black. Black and lifeless... Just like my soul.

I’m not like most of the girls at my school. In fact, I’m almost nothing like them. Big smiles, perfectly curled hair, outfits that are always very well put together, and eyelashes so long you could sweep the dusty and dingy hallways with them. They are always so beautiful and the boys are always gushing over them. I could puke.

I’m a sophomore at OC High. It’s huge buildings and spaced courtyards make it look like a prison. Large gates stand on the outside so there’s one way in, and one way out. The classrooms are always cold and each teacher has his or her own cheesy posters scattered around the room. I always try and sit in the back of the classroom to further myself from any communication from the idiots I have to deal with for 7 hours of my day. They ignore me as I do them and it’s better that way. I already have enough to deal with and they are the least of my problems. The funny thing is, I have only a few friends which is both a good and a bad thing. Good, in which I actually have a social life. Bad, in the fact that we are known as the losers and that leaves us for ridicule. However most of the time we are just left alone. It’s not like we’re the emo kids or the nerds. We are almost like the middle class. We aren’t popular, we aren’t unknown, we are just left alone.

I think I look like an average teenage girl. There isn’t really anything special about me. I have long dark brown hair that reaches down to my lower back. I have emerald green eyes like my father, that turn brown when in a darker place. We’ve never really understood why that happens nor do we care. It’s just kind of a weird thing that runs in our family. My facial features are like my mother’s with a narrow nose, a few freckles that lay on my cheeks, and a pretty average size mouth that always remains shut. I’m pretty tall for my age, which doesn’t help with my awkward stature, and I have broad shoulders that almost always knock into people in the hallway. But I mean, everybody could take a hit once in a while.


My father and I live in OC, California right on the beach. Sunsets have always been my favorite part of the day. My dad and I used to go on the roof to watch it all the time. Now, since my mom is gone he doesn’t really care about me anymore. He just pays for what he needs to and signs what he needs to sign and I’m on my own for the rest. We live in a wealthy community with my dad working all the time as a lawyer for one of the best set of auturnies in the country. With him always gone I’ve learned to be independent and I’m used to not having him as a support system. I’ve always been fine on my own, and I simply relieve my stress in different ways that usual. In ways that some people would judge, and hate to be apart of.


****

I wake up to the sound of quiet little taps on my window. Charlie.

Charlie is my best friend. Him and I grew up together and we’ve been through everything together. When my mom died he would spend the night at my house holding me in my bed until I cried myself to sleep. This went on for months until I finally convinced him that I was ok and could fend for myself. He’s slightly taller than me, with blonde shaggy hair that he takes pride in. His eyes are a crystal blue that always light up when he laughs.

I don’t get up. I just throw the covers over my head and I hear him opening the window and jumping into the trashcan that’s next to my desk.

“S***. Autumn, you really need to move this thing.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t have to if you weren’t so clumsy,” I answered with a smirk. Annoyed he runs to the side of my bed and rips the covers over my head.

“It’s cold,” I say curling into a ball, and my hair slowly running in my mouth.

“Fine. Mind if I join you?” he asked playfully.

“Only if you never make so much noise again early on a Saturday morning!” I say brushing my hair out of my face.

“Deal. Where’s your dad?” he questioned as he slid under the covers next to me.

“Work. Or at least I think so. He said he’d be back later tonight,” I assured him as he wraps his arm around my waist.

“So you don’t have any plans for today?” Charlie muttered into my shoulder.

“You’re looking at them.” I said lowly.

“I looked online and the sun sets at 6:15 tonight. We should be out there by 6:00,” he said blankly.

“Can we just stay on the roof tonight? I’m not really in the mood for sand…. or people”

“That’s fine.”

There has never been anything romantic between me and Charlie. Since we grew up together we’ve grown too close to have a relationship. Not to say that we don’t act like a couple, which at times we do with small kisses and cuddling. We never made it official, and it’s just better that way. Charlie has always been my support system and was the man in my life that my father couldn’t be
We fell asleep for a little while before I wake up and look around my still room. It’s a pretty decent size with a big window with red lace curtains straight across the room from my door, I roll my eyes and look at my clothes on the floor from the previous day on the dark brown hardwood floor. On the right side of the room I see my white bulky dresser with pictures of me and my mother from my childhood. And on the left side my closet with sliding glass doors that reach up to the ceiling. My walls are black with a white trim lining the floor, and small scripts of my writing are on the wall in white paint. My queen size bed is on the right side of the door, with a white comforter with black sheets and red pillows. My desk on the left side of the room is a simple wood desk just like the flooring, with a dark red wooden chair underneath. The room is stung with the smell of Charlies cologne, which keeps me company when he’s gone because that reminded me that he’s coming back. And that reassures me of our trust.

I hear a whisper coming from Charlie as his deep strong voice gives me chills up my spine, “What time is it?”

“12:30,” I say with a slight laugh.

“No, actually I think it’s mac and cheese time,” he says as he’s rolling over pulling his arm back from around my waist.

“I’m not going to make it for you,” I say with a smirk.

“Are you going to eat?” he asks with a sincere voice.

“No,” I whisper.

“When was the last time you ate,” he sat up glaring at me as he sat up.

“I don’t know. Like, a day or two ago,” I stare into his eyes. And in saying this I know I’ve hurt him.

“You feel thinner. Your ribs are becoming really visible. Really Autumn, I think you should get help.”

“You know why I can’t do that,” my voice is shakey.

He just looks at me for a while. Then slowly he crawls closer to me, and we embrace. He pulls back slightly, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear, then kisses me gently on the nose. I grab his hand and lead him downstairs. As we reach the bottom he slings me up onto his back and piggy-backs me around the house and into the back yard. For the rest of the day we lay
together in the thick, green grass underneath the warm sun that kissed our legs. And we let our day dreams run away.