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The City That Kills More Than Dreams
Author's note: I have loved this show for over a year and when my teacher asked us to go off of a modern day show, movie, etc. I knew this was my best bet. I believe this is very relatable, especially for teenage girls. Enjoy :)
We always seem to fear the unknown. It’s an unidentifiable circumstance that screams “caution-do not enter.” I believe it’s just one of those things we as humans will never understand and well, maybe we aren’t supposed to. It’s something we conjecture about, but never prove. Something we go along with, but never realize why. Whatever this inextricable, tormenting reason is, the ride down this road is not exactly pleasant. At least when you’re a 17-year-old girl and your life has done a complete 360, the unknown eventually becomes your enemy.
Now for anyone who is a teenager or has experienced the wrath of the “terrible teen” years, everything I’m going to share with you might sound too close for comfort. For my younger friends, do not fret as your innocent minds will interpret my story from a different perspective. Regardless of who you are, I hope my message is clear. The unknown may be frightening but to be falsely accused and declared guilty for something you didn’t do is close to detrimental. There are consequences, social consequences and it ruins you. First your reputation, and then your state of mind. Now what better place to experience such a social suicide you ask? The one, the only, the Academy of St. Josephines, or as our rival school calls us, Academy of St. “Jokes and Sleaze.” Now sit back, get comfortable, and enjoy the story of how the stereotypical high school “mean girl” made my junior year a living hell.
THURSDAY
“What do you mean I’m transferring?” I retorted to my father.
“Dani, hear me out. It’s a great opport-”
“Don’t even finish that sentence,” I interjected, “an opportunity is something favorable or..or a positive change. Moving me my junior year isn’t exactly my opinion of an opportunity! Isn’t a father supposed to, oh I don’t know, think of the family and what’s best for us, all of us?”
My father, dressed in business casual as always, slowly rose from his espresso wood desk. He clenched the wood so tightly that his knuckles began turning white.
“Danielle Marie,” oh crap, he used the full name. That was never a good sign. “Everything I do in my profession,” he bellowed, “is for the better of this family. I work the way I do solely for you and your mother. So when Rob offered me the position, I took it.” Well, that shut me up. My eyes dropped to the floor and I deeply inhaled, trying to register what I had been told.
So this is where I accept defeat, slug back to my room and think of the many ways to avoid leaving our cozy Brooklyn loft. My father and I stared at each other a bit longer, those sky blue eyes of which I did not inherit pierced right through me. My dad had two looks: the first one was compassionate and loving, fatherly if you must. The other was a pissed off, run while you can, “Danielle has a boy over” look. But if you have a pulse, you can probably infer that look number one was not exactly plastered on the face staring back at me.
I cleared my throat, “fine, you win.” My father pressed his lips together and nodded. “So...what now?” I sadly inquired.
“We pack this weekend and will move into The Plaza Tuesday. A driver will pick us up around noon and-” I’m sorry...did he just say Tuesday? Wait...driver, Plaza as in the Plaza? “You start at St. Josephines Thursday.” I looked around my fathers office just to make sure I was still living in the Basin household. What was my father doing moving us to Manhattan? I am not Carrie Bradshaw in her prime years, I am not some socialite, and my family is not exactly Forbes Magazine material.
“Driver? St. Josephines? The Plaza Hotel? What’s next, lunch with Kardashians?”
I’m sure you’re thinking that every teenage girl on the planet would kill for a new life like this. Trust me, I get it and no, I’m not senile. I’ve just seen every show known that comes on the CW, and well, I don’t think my Old Navy jeans will cut it.
He chuckled, my father obviously saw my profound confusion as humorous. “Sweet pea, a lot of things are changing. I have been offered an incredible job at Morgan Stanley Wealth Management. They are private banking investors, not to mention the most prestigious financial firm in New York City.” Couldn’t complain there... “I didn’t work my ass off in college to stay an accountant forever you know.”
In all honestly, my dad lost me when he mentioned The Plaza Hotel. So don’t act too surprised when I say my jaw had surpassed hitting the floor and was somewhere in the basement by now.
______________________________________________________________________________
I stood in my doorway and glared at the emptiness that appeared right before me. My eccentric blue walls now seemed lifeless; the furniture had been packed away, the black beads that unfolded over my closet door were crammed into some box, and the hundreds of pictures that once covered my ceiling had been taken down and placed into a huge ziplock bag.
I rested my head on the white door frame and envisioned a few of the most important memories that I had made in this room. The first one that came to mind involved the time my best friend Cassie and I spent all day in my room watching season 5 of One Tree Hill. Needless to say, my Netflix obsession spiraled out of control that day and just as any concerned parent would do, my TV and netflix account were taken away to avoid any situation like that again. Ooops. (If you’re completely lost, put this book down and find the nearest TV, Brooke Davis awaits.)
I came back to earth, smiling. But it soon vanished as I began to realize that the chance of Cas and I having another day like that was probably slim. I said all of my goodbyes yesterday and ours consisted of nothing but tears. I guess that was one of the many downfalls that came with moving; i’ve had the same friends since kindergarten and now I would have no one. I had lived in Brooklyn all my life and not to sound super cliche´ and prosaic, our little loft that rested right above the Stone Coffee Cafe´ has shaped me into the gal I am today.
“Almost ready?” My mom chimed in, interrupting my thoughts. She snuck up behind me and rested her hands on my shoulders. “This will be good for us, D. You’re 17, aren’t you supposed to love new beginnings?” Someone had clearly gotten to my latest issue of Cosmo Magazine. I closed my eyes, exhaled, and somehow managed to fake a smile.
“Yeah, new beginnings sound great,” I paused to let my sarcasm seep through. I adjusted my tone, “when you’re a senior who just graduated. My whole life is here, my friends are here, my school is here.” My eyes widened and I was almost positive by the look of my moms concerned face, my face read PANIC. “Oh my god! Where am I going to find another Joe?”
Now I’m sure being the hopeful romantics we all are, you’re thinking oh no, she has to leave her totally hot, super romantic boyfriend. I mean, maybe Joe was all of that, but considering he was 32, I wouldn’t classify him under the boyfriend category. Joe was the owner of the cafe´ downstairs, not to mention the man that had made my breakfast everyday since I was five, free of charge if I might add.
While I was on the verge of tears, my mother didn’t seem to find this loss too significant considering she laughed.
“Oh sweetie, The Plaza offers room service each morning. Let mom and dad take care of all that, I need you to keep those grades up and make some new friends.” I could feel my cheeks getting hot as a scorned look appeared on my face. She made it sound so easy.
My mom turned on her heel and yelled to my dad that I was ready to go. Thanks Ma. Now don’t get me wrong, she is a great woman, it’s just sometimes, her ability to sympathise isn’t exactly up to par.
I refocused and took one last look at the room I had spent the past 17 years in. I flicked the light off and solemnly closed the door. With my hand still holding onto the knob, I pressed my back into the wood door, and tilted my head back. “New beginnings,” I whispered. And just like that, I, Danielle Marie Basin was on my way into a new world, a world I had never anticipated I would be apart of. I heard a horn beep and my dad call my name from outside. The driver had arrived. I stood for another moment, taking in the familiar surroundings before I would be thrown into unknown territory. New York City, here I come.
______________________________________________________________________________
3:48 pm. The limo had reached fifth avenue in central park and the entrance of The Plaza was near. The 30 minutes we spent traveling were without a doubt the longest, most awkward moments of my young adolescent life. It was almost like a bad first date type of uncomfort. Now whoever you are, do not play little Ms. Perfect; we’ve all had our fair share of some not-so-great first dates. For the entire car ride, I didn’t know what to say and felt like there was a huge barrier between my parents and I. Please believe me when I say that I am trying to have some type of alacrity when it comes to this move, it’s just whenever I think of a positive, a negative soars in and tramples all over it.
Lost in my thoughts, I fell back into the seat and positioned my head so that I had full view of my new home. How did I, Danielle from Brooklyn, just so happened to end up living in one of the most prominent hotels residing in the upper east side. Our new chauffeur Harold, who now worked for my family, opened the car door for me and I stepped out. I took in the divine view from my new front yard. So this is how Dorothy felt…
Prada purse, 3. Jimmy Choo shoes, 5. These city women did not play around when it came to their attire. Not to mention, I hadn’t even made my way inside yet.
Three doormen hurried from their position, approached our trunk and began unloading our luggage. Shaking my head, I began walking towards the doors that would lead me into my new home...well mine and about 300 others. Breathe out, shoulders back, if my family was going to be considered elite, I figured I should at least try and look the part.
“Ms. Danielle,” door man number four said. He was dressed in one of the nicest suits I had ever seen. He nodded with his hand on his cap, smiling as he guarded his position. Copying his friendly gestures back, I couldn’t help but relish in the fact that he already knew my name. Still smirking, I pushed through the revolving door and oh... my... God. My eyes widened and my jaw had detached my face; a whole new world had appeared right before my eyes. I was dumbfounded, stunned, shocked, and any other word in the English dictionary that meant completely surprised. This place was not a hotel, it was a palace and the most beautiful one at that. Such elegance radiated from every corner of the lobby, the sumptuous decor was breath taking and the scenic paintings vivified the rooms. The beige walls glistened and the furniture looked fit for a queen. You definitely could not find this in Brooklyn.
I slowly walked through the lobby, straining my neck as I looked in every direction. My mouth was still opened. The abstract designs on the tile were even breathtaking.
I guess my fervent daze gave away the fact that I was completely out of place. “Ma’am,” the concierge repeated several times. “Umm...ma’am?” I snapped back to reality, if you could even call it that. Shaking my head abruptly, I looked directly at the very handsome, caucasian man who was staring right at me, he seemed to be just as confused as I was. Very slowly and awkwardly, I approached the desk.
Act professional, D. “Yes, hi my name is Danielle Basin. My family is moving in today, and uh..” okay buddy, obviously I’m new here. Help me out.
His eyes widened and a wave of embarrassment seemed to overcome him. “Basin? Yes, of course!” He hurriedly shuffled around his desk. “Here is your key madam,” did he just say madam? “Your room number is 254. You will be in the Fitzgerald suite. Floor 32. Oh and here are the other two room keys. And Ms. Danielle,” I glanced up at him, “welcome to The Plaza.” Propping my chin up, I flashed a confident smile.
I parted from the desk and made my way to the elevator, trying to act like this was no big deal. I remembered reading about the Fitzgerald suite in my English class. The Great Gatsbys film had been such a success that The Plaza had modeled a room after the movie in honor of F. Scott Fitzgerald. I had to email Mrs. Bocker.
I pressed the elevator button and immediately the doors opened. I stepped inside and looked at the various range of buttons. My finger pushed in the button that read 32 in bold. Instantly, it lit up and I could hear the chains begin to work as the elevator began ascending. I was in The Plaza Hotel being taken up to the Fitzgerald suite. Holding onto the railing, I leaned into the elevator walls, which happened to be mirrors. I stared into the reflection looking back at me. I combed my hands through my medium length blonde hair and placed my hands around my olive toned face, pulling at my skin. I closed my eyes, only to be interrupted by a sudden pause. I had arrived at floor 32. Stepping out of the elevator, key in hand, I began searching for the room number. A few seconds later I was standing in front of room 254, I brushed the egg white door with my fingers and nervously pushed the key inside the hole, slowly turning it until hearing the knob unlock. Pulling the key out, I anxiously opened the door. Softly speaking amongst myself, “you have arrived, Cinderella.”
The first day of anything is frightening. Whether it be the first day of a new job or the first
day of a new year, a shockwave mixed with fear and excitement seems to take control. However, I did not exactly sense excitement in this day, but fear? Oh it was about as obvious as Miley Cyrus’s downfall. Nothing, and I mean nothing compares to the nerves associated with starting over at a new school. It was around 7 am and the driver would be here in 15 minutes to take me to school. Slowly but surely, I began painting pictures in my head of how today would go. Some were good, and some well, not so good.
I had been staring at my reflection for about five minutes, critiquing everything I could to make sure I looked as close to perfect as possible. I just want these people to like me. As the girl in the mirror looked back at me, I criticized my posture: shoulders back, stand straight, chin up. Next came by hair which had been curled to the max and hair sprayed to the point that any movement was no longer a possibility. Now for the smile. I practiced multiple friendly expressions in the mirror. I had to find the look that screamed, “I belong.”
“D!” my dad yelled from the kitchen, “Harold’s out front.” Here we go.
“Coming!” I hollered back. With one last look in the mirror, I patted down my outfit which was a generic schoolgirl uniform. Appropriate, of course. A few seconds later, I was grabbing my bag and heading out the door to the elevator.
______________________________________________________________________________
Harold’s attempt to make small talk was very pensive. For the duration of the 20 minute ride together, we talked about Brooklyn, my new life, and how I was handling the move. Now given it has only been a few days, I don’t think the conversations were too insightful. But, I had a friend and as of right now, that’s all that mattered. Smiling to myself, I gained a small feeling of confidence. If a grown man, who is technically paid to make nice with me took interest in my life, maybe people my age would to.
“Okay Ms. Basin, we have arrived,” Harold said as he put the limo in park.
“Thank you, wish me luck,” I responded, I knew he could sense the nerves in my tone.
“I will be waiting for you right after school, oh and Ms. Baisi-
“Danielle, call me Danielle.”
“Of course, Ms. Danielle. Well anywho, I will see you at three sharp. Good luck today.”
I opened the door and for the second time this week I was in awe of my new surroundings. This school was this epitome of higher education. Well, appearance wise it was, and not to be dramatic, the school resembled Saint Patrick’s Cathedral. I was looking at an empire as the pictures online had not done the school justice.
I made my way up to the steps that lead to the front entrance. I clenched my tribal patterned satchel and realized that every girl that I had seen had Gucci something. Oh boy. For a second, I honestly questioned whether or not Harold had messed up the address and sent me to some over the top fashion show. I checked my watch, 7:42. I had 18 minutes to get situated and lose my tourist look. I began looking around, at least half of the student body was parading around the front of the school. Everyone was grouped in cliques, everyone had their friends, where am I supposed to go? My eyes scanned the foyer and I noticed a group of five girls, all glamorously accessorized and laughing. That’s a start. I exhaled and began walking towards them, as I approached I could sense that these were the popular girls. But in private school terms, these girls were known as the hierarchy. This would be my “in.”
“What a loser!” And sure enough laughter surrounded the foyer, people giggled and mocked, and it didn’t stop.
I had tripped. Well, I had done more than trip. I took out the crowd of band members blocking me from the giggly, brand wearing girls. And no, it wasn’t on purpose; I was so focused on what was ahead that I didn’t exactly see the impediment of an instrument blocking my way. Oh and the girl that screamed I was a loser, yeah that was one of the five girls I was about to attempt to make friends with. I guess you could say my mean girl detector activated a tad too late.
“Are you okay? I looked up from my oh so comfortable view from the floor.
“Uh..I, um..” Danielle what are you doing? Speak! “Yea, um yes. I’m fine.” I continued to stare at the figure standing before me, he was easily the most attractive guy I had ever laid my eyes on. He had the athletic, masculine body, this light brown hair that fell perfectly across his forehead, and his eyes...oh his eyes.
He cocked his head. “So do you plan on getting up or are you just going to hang out there for first period?” He let out a small laugh. This time it wasn’t the dericious laughter that had taken over the foyer, it was playful and friendly. The mystery man extended his hand out, and I instinctively grabbed it. Pulling me up, I didn’t take my eyes off of him and if I had it my way, I would have locked eyes with him for the rest of the day.
“Thanks,” I shyly said, giving off an innocent smile.
At this point, most of the students had made their way inside the school, but that group of girls remained in place, only this time I could feel a hole burning through me as they stared.
“Yeah, no problem. I’m Tate, by the way.”
“Danielle.”
“Well it’s nice to meet you Danielle. Hey I have to go, I’m getting the look from Bria,” he picked up on my confused look. “Oh, she’s my girlfriend,” pointing up at the steps. Of course he had a girlfriend, not to mention he was dating the girl that had called me a loser after three minutes of my arrival on campus.
“Oh, right. Yeah, of course. Um, thank you Tate. Nice to meet you.”
Before I even gave him the chance to respond, I was walking towards the school doors. Speeding past the girls on the steps, I was stopped as a hand forcefully grabbed my arm. Bria. Her green eyes were now daggers, and she looked at me as if I had just slapped her.
“Nice trip, new girl.” She spoke with such sas, and tilted her head back, laughing. She had the type of voice that could make you crazy. Before she released her grip, she scrutinized me from head to toe, it was like she was taking mental notes on me. As much as I hated to admit this, she was beautiful. Bria had flawless skin, there was no imperfection to be found. Her golden hair shined and it looked as if Paul Mitchell had done it personally. No wonder she was dating Tate.
She finally let go, and I finally took a breath. “You can go now.” When had I become some obedient pet? Without saying anything back, I turned on my heel and headed inside. Bria and I were going to have a wonderful friendship.
______________________________________________________________________________
My lunch was at 12:17 and of course because it was a private school and we had a maximum of hmm...200 students, we all ate at the same time. Not only did I face the uncomfortable new girl “walk as slow as possible to see if someone will offer me a table” stroll we all have either faced or dreaded, but I was once again forced to see Bria and her minions (not my words, some girl in French II filled me in on all the dirt). So there I stood, lunch tray in hand, waiting for someone to rescue me.
I diligently scanned the cafeteria, everyone seemed so caught up in conversation and laughter that it was almost as if there was no room for me. I dawdled down the aisle, just praying that I wouldn’t end up like Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls.
“Danielle!”
Startled, I twisted my neck to see where the voice had come from. It was Tate. I couldn’t help the huge smile that appeared on my face, he was even good looking from a distance. Switching my tray of fries to one hand, I self consciously waved. Tate motioned for me to come over. Did all boys biceps pop out when they gestured? I started towards him, thankful that someone had saved me from what could have been a lunch alone and reluctant that it was Tate.
“Hey, thank you fo-
“Hi baby,” Bria approached him, sliding her arms around his broad shoulders and kissing him on the cheek. He seemed just as surprised as I was. She looked at me infuriated. “Can I help you?” Did you not see me here first?
So heres where I have to make a decision; I either walk away and let her control me for the second time today and probably the rest of high school, or I stand my ground and refuse to become her new toy.
Putting on my big girl pants, I politely responded: “No but you’re more than welcome to join Tate and I for lunch.” She gave me that damn look again.
“Excuse me?” Bria looked at Tate, waiting for him to respond but instead he put his hands up defensively, leaving the royal princess to defend herself. “Look, I know you’re new and all, but this is my school. So I don’t know who you think you are but you better cut it out. Now.”
I smiled, took a seat, and began eating my lunch. A roar of “OOOH’S!” surrounded us and I watched Bria’s mouth tighten and fist clench. “Let me make myself very clear,” she threw her hands on the table and leaned in towards me. “I am the last person you want to cross here, I am the last person you want to piss off, but most importantly, I’ll be the first person to ruin you. So if I were you, I’d watch your back.”
I nodded and let out a giggle. When did I become so fearless? “Whatever you say, Queen B. But for today, I’m sitting here. So you can either join me or find yourself a new lunch table for the 20 minutes we have left in here.” At this point, the cafeteria was silent, all eyes waiting Bria’s next move. I kept my eyes locked on her, I had come so far, I could not show a bluff now. Her devious eyes only grew more intense. “Because you’re new, I’ll pretend like this never happened but God so help me if you ever pull something like this again, I will have you transferred and back to Brooklyn in a matter of seconds.”
Bria and her minions fiercely walked away, each giving me the death stare as they fled. I waved goodbye to her, and with through my peripheral vision, I could see Tate who was standing still, eyes wide and mouth open. A round of applause filled the room and I felt my face grow red until I realized that they were clapping for me. What the hell did I just do?
I exhaled and felt nerves shoot through my body; I pushed my plate of fries away, suddenly losing all sense of appetite. I let the claps die down before putting my head in my hands, trying to register all that just happened.
Coming out of hiding, Tate approached me with a face of disbelief.
“Do you have any idea what you just did?
“Um..no actually, but you’re kind of freaking me out. How bad?”
“Oh on a scale of 1-10, easy an 11. Danielle, no one has ever stood up to B, yet put her in her place like that. Now don’t get me wrong, I love her to death but she needed that.” He continued to rant about how materialistic and self absorbed Bria was and I couldn’t help but wonder the obvious, why was he with her? I kept my mouth shut because it was evident that I had crossed enough lines today. So I did what any other completely clueless and totally infatuated girl would do, I listened.
______________________________________________________________________________
The final bell of the day rang and I hussled to get out of that building, thankfully Harold wasn’t kidding when he said 3 sharp, the man was parked right where he dropped me off. I had never been so happy to see someone in my life. I picked up my pace and the limo was the only thing my eyes could focus on. Harold must have noticed me coming because I saw him get out of the driver seat and make his way around the car to open my door, well attempt to do so at least.
“No no no, you get back in that car right now we have to go home!”
“Ms. Danielle wh-
“No questions, I’ll explain in the car. Just please get me out of here.”
By the time I was settled in the back, Harold was putting the car in drive and thankfully, I was out of here and heading back into safety.
“Is there anything you want to tell me, or need to talk about?”
“They hate me,” I groaned. “Well she hates me, her and her little slaves.”
“Who Ms. Danielle?”
“Her name is Bria Van Dorf. She is evil! And she has these four girls that follow her everywhere, they wait on her hand and foot. It’s like they are wired to obey her.”
I felt myself start to get heated and I knew my tone reflected it. I collapsed in the seat, letting myself breathe.
“Listen to me Ms. Danielle,” Harold spoke in the faintest voice. “You are better than what seems to be silly games. This girl must be envious of you, there has to be something about you that intimidates her...you are a threat to her.” I absorbed his words and remained quiescent.
“Ms. Danielle you must think, what could be a reason this girl has it out for you already?”
Well where should we start? It was manifest that her boyfriend was hitting on me, I put her in her place in front of our entire school, and to top it off, I kicked her out of her own lunch table. But I knew girls like her and when it comes to their property, they are always territorial. This wasn’t about some dumb lunch table, it was much more than that.
“Oh no Harold... it’s Tate.”
6:20 am. I let my alarm clock blare repetitively as the thought of going to school was torturous. I rolled over multiple times, slamming the pillow down on my face. I am not going, I am not going, I am no-
“Dani wake up!” my mom barked. “That damn alarm is enough to wake up everyone in Manhattan.”
I was going to school. Annoyed, I inhaled, sat up in my sheets, and smacked my hand on my alarm clock. What’s the worst that can happen? I was unsure of just about everything these days but one thing I knew was that I needed to put on that brave front I must have acquired yesterday, Queen B was going down. The thought of that sent an uncomfortable chill down my spine, but this whole new courageous feeling was enough to get me out of bed. The worst was over...so I thought.
________________________________________________________________________
“Well, well, well look who it is,” Bria and her minions ferociously gathered around me on the front steps of St. Josephines. Damn she worked fast, the first bell hadn’t even rung yet.
“Can I help you?” Sound familiar, B?
“You’re sitting on the steps, my steps.”
I looked around my area, wasting time.
“Oh that’s cute. I knew I was right when I pegged you for territorial.”
Bria was now scorning me. “Up,” she demanded, motioning her hands. “Now.”
“How about this...I’ll move over. That way we can share the steps.”
Oh she was pissed. “Absolutely not. Go, now.” I showed no signs of movement. “So this is what girls from Brooklyn are like: arrogant, clueless, and well the obvious, trash.”
I felt myself begin to sweat and inflame with anger. She thought I crossed a line? Just wait.
I stood up so that I was looking down at her. “Wow. You’re just as pathetic as I thought. But let me tell you something about this whole ‘city girl’ thing. You are ignorant, rude, cruel, and let’s not forget the obvious. You’re a b****.” Fuming, I waited for a response. I couldn’t make out what her reaction would be as her facial expression remained still. Then, she did something I had not expected. She laughed.
“You don’t think I know all of this? How do you think I got to where I am today? I play games, Danielle. It’s how it works around here. I am the higher power and you are nothing but a game to me. Just keep in mind, I always win,” she started moving towards me. “I’ve warned you once, but I guess you need another reminder: watch you’re back. I’m the last person you want hating you...Oh wait,” she laughed, “ too late for that.” Bumping my shoulder with hers, she locked eyes with me before casually walking away, minions trailing behind her. I couldn’t breathe at this point, my mind was all over the place. I needed to get out, I needed to get away.
______________________________________________________________________________
I knew if I stayed in school I wouldn’t focus and I knew if I left school I’d be able to redirect my attention on something other than school. So leaving campus it was. I had never skipped class before so I was terrified, but I knew I had to get out. The first bell would ring at 8 but by that time, I would be walking 5th ave. Where was I going to go? I couldn’t go home and I didn’t exactly know my way around the city. As I was safely off school grounds I decided I would just walk until my only option was to get a taxi to take me home. First, I needed to call Harold and tell him I didn’t need him this afternoon.
As I spoke to him, I sensed the suspicion in his voice. Making me feel guilty, I kept the conversation short and to the point. First order of business: check.
I pulled my coat tightly around me and began walking north. I tried to clear my mind but it was more of a challenge then I thought it would be. Fifteen minutes into my rebellious escape from school, I saw a familiar figure in the distance. I squinted and crained my neck, trying to make out who this person was. He noticed me staring and instead of mirroring my puzzled look, he waved. He began walking toward me and sure enough, this anonymous man was Tate.
“What are you doing?” We asked simultaneously. Laughing I looked at the ground and back at him, “I had to get out of there. I had another confrontation with your little girlfriend today and decided to take a personal day.” He nodded and seemed to understand my reasoning.
“Your turn, why are you out here?”
“Well I wish I could tell you I was being victimized by the popular girl, but I’m not.” He paused for a moment, something about him didn’t seem right. “I uh..my dad. He’s staying at that rehab center the Odyssey House. He’s been hooked on dope since I was five and this past summer...it, it got really bad.” I stood still, unsure of what to say or if I was even supposed to say anything.
“I’m so sorry, Tate.”
“Nah, don’t be,” smiling, “You didn’t do anything.” In a weird way, that was slight reassuring and nice to hear.
“No, but I wish I could help. Are you going back to school?” He smiled, oh he had such a beautiful smile. “Well, I was but some random girl on the street was staring me down and I think I’d rather get to know her than the geometric pattern..” I’ll take that as a no. I could feel my cheeks begin to hurt due to an overactive smile. “Than I guess it’s my lucky day,” I responded.
“C’mon,” he said. “I know a great burger joint right down the road.”
“It’s not even 8:30.”
“Your point?” He held his arm towards the opposite direction, leading the way. I playfully rolled my eyes and before I knew it, Tate and I were on our way, walking in the opposite direction of St. Josephines.
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I had never laughed or smiled more in my life. We sat at the diner for three hours, mind you it only took 15 minutes for us to finish our meals. And Tate was right, the food was insane. We talked about everything: the move, our parents, friendships, etc.
“I’m really happy we did this,” he said.
I looked at him with pure joy, “Me too. Thank you for this. All of this.”
“Seriously don’t worry about it. You needed to get away, trust me I get it. And Bria...she can be rough.”
“Yeah, no kidding.” I rolled my eyes, she was the last person I wanted to talk about.
“Dont’ worry,” he assured me, “it gets better. She’ll get bored and move onto to someone else to torture.”
I couldn’t help but ask, the question was basically choking me. “Why are you with her if she’s so..so evil?”
He stared at me in disbelief, I had clearly thrown him off. Tate leaned in closer, I could tell there was a serious shift in his disposition.
“You wanna know a secret?”
I leaned in closer to him now, “you can tell me anything.”
“I’ve wanted to end things with B for a long time now. I just don’t know how or when or even what to say. We’ve been together since we were in middle school, and our parents practically have begun planning the wedding.” Neither of us moved, our eyes still locking. “Tate, if you’re not happy, you have to do something about it. Find someone or something that gives you that feeling again. Look, I’m not just saying this because she’s an evil person and is probably along the lines of psychotic, but you deserve better.”
If I thought he was caught off guard before, he was definitely at a loss for words now. Tate seemed lost in thought, or so I assumed.
“Danielle,” we were staring right at each other now. “I--I have to go.” And just like that, he was on his way out. All that fire and passion I just felt had essentially disintegrated into thin air within seconds.
What? This was the part where you kiss me, grab my face and kiss me. Not walk away. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go.
I sat at our two seater table, basically in disarray as I tried to process the last thirty seconds. The waitress noticed I was alone and judiciously approached me.
“I’m assuming you guys are all finished?” I stared at her. I knew what she meant, but for some reason I couldn’t help but ask myself that question also. I don’t know, I thought.
“Yeah, I guess we are,” I replied as I pushed my plate towards her.
_____________________________________________________________________________
For the entire ride to school Monday morning, all I could think about was the plot twist of a day I had with Tate on Friday. I didn’t have the slightest clue what I was going to say to him, or how I would even react after seeing him. Harold pulled the limo to a halt, wished me a good day at school, and as I opened the door, I braced myself for what was to come.
I had not spotted Tate as I made my way through the foyer. While everything about St. Josephine’s may have seemed normal to someone else, I knew something was wrong. I felt as if everyone was staring at me, whispering something I was clearly oblivious to. What was going on?
As I climbed up the first set of steps leading up the schools entrance, I was bombarded by the last person I wanted to see.
“So you think just because you’re the new girl you have the right to steal my boyfriend?” Bria hissed.
“What the hell are you talking about now?”
“Tate came over Friday night and dumped me. He said him and I were too different and that he didn’t like who I was. Then he went on to say that he deserves better, which if you haven’t noticed, that’s not possible.”
“Okay, so you’re telling me this why exactly? I don’t see where I fit into your break up Bria.”
“Yeah, that’s the funny thing. Because right after he dumped me, my friend called me to tell me that she saw you with him at Busley Burgers. So clearly, this is your doing!”
“Oh give me a break. Yes, I ate lunch with your boyfriend...get over it. It was nothing, so relax and maybe focus on yourself because that’s clearly the issue.” I went to scoot around her but before I could, she stepped in front of me and crossed her arms.
“You didn’t let me finish,” she scorned. “My friend didn’t call me just for that reason. She called me to tell me that she saw you and Tate kissing. So yes, this is your fault and you will fix it!”
Pure shock came over me, I shook my head in incredulity as I let her words process.
“Bria, I didn’t kiss Tate. Tate didn’t kiss me. We did not kiss. Your so called friend is clearly lying. We had lunch, talked for a while and parted our separate ways. That’s it.”
Nothing that I could say would change her mind and her disgusted facial expression clearly reflected that. I had been officially thrown into the rumor mill. This was a place I had never been and would soon learn, would never want to be again.
“You lying, manipulative, skank! How dare you not only kiss him but not own up to your own actions? I will ruin you, I will make your life a living hell.” At this point she was screaming, fingers pointing directly at me and to be honest, she looked like the physco I knew she was.
“Yeah? I’d like to see you try. I told you once, I didn’t kiss him. So go ahead, Bria. Go ahead and play the games that landed you boyfriendless in the first place. So be my guest, ruin me.”
We both refused to break eye contact with one another. By the look on her face though, I knew this was the part where she trampled me and we turned into one of those pathetic girl fights that end up on YouTube.
The bell rang and I knew this argument had ended, for now.
“You’ve been warned,” she turned on her heel and began walking away. “Oh and Danielle,” she looked back at me, her eyes filled with spite, “welcome to hell.”
_____________________________________________________________________________
Our confrontation had occurred around 7:40 this morning and by 10, everyone in our school had heard that the reason Tate and Bria had broke up was because of the inexistent kiss Tate and I shared.
I walked to Chemistry clutching my books tightly to my chest. I let my chin rest on them as I shuffled down the hall, embarrassed, upset, and mortified. All eyes were on me as whispers trailed behind me on my walk to class.
“That’s the girl that Tate cheated with.”
“What a slut.”
“I heard Bria has basically put her on her death bed.”
“What was she thinking? Skank.”
These were just a few of the comments that I had heard. I felt a jab in my stomach at every hateful word. My ability to hold back tears was truly sublime. How did this happen? How do I even handle this? In Brooklyn, my school had drama, but never this. Not to mention I had never been involved in something so scandalous. A rumor about me had ruined a relationship. I mean don’t get me wrong, I wanted them to break up, I wanted to be the girl he came to, but I did not, under any circumstance, want to be the reason they broke up.
“Danielle!”
Oh crap. It was Tate, running to me. And no, not the way I had envisioned.
“What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you lie and tell Bria we kissed?”
“Tate are you out of your mind?” I hissed, “this girl is on her way to destroying my life! I didn’t do anything, Bria said her friend texted her and saw us at lunch the other day. You have to believe me, I’m a victim in this entire situation.”
“Whatever, dude. Just stay away from me.”
And at that, I lost it. My hand was glued to my mouth, I thought I was going to be sick. I bolted for the bathroom and as I bashed through a stall, and fell to my knees I did what everyone in their right minds would do… I broke down.
__________________________________________________________________________
After my melt down in the bathroom, I managed to somewhat clean myself up. I stayed in the bathroom for 3rd period, sorry Ms. Bryant. The lunch bell rang... I can do this. I looked at myself one last time in the mirror before the druggies would walk in to claim their lunch table. You can do this, D. It’s one girl, she can’t control me. And at that, I was on my way to the cafeteria.
“SLUT!” someone had yelled as soon as I entered.
“I didn’t do anything!” I shouted back. I needed people to start hearing my side of the story.
More people began saying it and before I knew it, the entire cafeteria was chanting derogatory names at me. What was I thinking, I can’t handle this. Our two person fight had become the entire school versus me, and as of now, there was absolutely no way I was going to win this battle.
I stood in the middle of what seemed to be a war. Everyone was looking at me, people I didn’t even know or had seen before were mocking me and spreading this lie throughout the school. My legs felt frozen and my heart had sunk to my waist. I felt myself begin to sweat and I realized, I was stuck. I was trapped inside this hell hole and there was no escape.
“Well well well, look who actually showed her face,” Bria began as she made her way through the crowd of people to me. “Thank you, everyone. Very well done.” She began to clap and I saw others high five each other. She had done this, she had made sure that everyone would say terrible things as I walked in. What kind of monster was I dealing with?
“Silly girl, I told you not to mess with me. But looks like you didn’t listen, and you’re a bit too late.” She spoke with such malice. Bria was holding something behind her back and she began to laugh.
“I already told you, I didn’t kiss him.” I felt tears begin to stream down my face. The cafeteria had gone silent.
She looked as if she had gone mad. Her lip curled and her brows furrowed. “You ruined my relationship, and now it’s time for you to pay.” And at that, I watched as she revealed her ice coffee from behind her back. She opened the lid and before I could react she had thrown it all over me. The entire room exploded with laughter, I heard a multitude of people high fiving and the roars didn’t stop and I felt as if it never would. So there I stood, drenched in coffee so cold it sent chills everywhere in my body. I began to tremble as I watched coffee drip down the ends of my hair.
“You.” I started, “Are a horrible human being.” I ran my fingers through my coffee’d hair and bit my lip in an attempt to stop my lip from quivering.
“Oh so sad, is the little baby crying?”
I shook my head with shame and fled the room as fast as I could. Everyone began clapping and hollering after me. This girl had falsely accused me of kissing her boyfriend, turned the entire school against me, and most importantly striped me of any pride I had left. I could feel the unstoppable pain in my chest taking over my body. I felt as if I had nothing. No confidence, no pride, no friends, no one. There was nothing left in me.
__________________________________________________________________________
The night of mine and Bria’s showdown in the cafeteria I didn’t go home. I ended up getting on the subway and going back to Brooklyn. I stayed the night at Cassie’s and explained to her everything that had happened prior to my random appearance at her door. Luckily for me, she welcomed me with open arms and held me as I cried and well, cried. She reassured me that everything would be okay and that it was high school drama.
“It’ll all be over soon,” Cas repeated. And she was right because eventually, it ended and life went on. Tate and Bria got back together, the school’s hierarchy remained the same, and for myself, I somehow managed to stay under the radar. Thank God.
To this day, I remain confused on how my life became what it had. How my new girl status had been destroyed and transformed from innocent to skank. How Tate never once defended me and well, how the coffee ended up staining my uniform. Needless to say, the thought and smell of Starbuck’s iced coffee makes me sick to my stomach. But at the end of the day, I have to accept what happened. While no, I never kissed Tate and he never cheated on Bria with me, I was still wrongly accused of something I didn’t do. I became a victim in my own school and well, after I pleaded my case (or hopelessly begged her to believe me) the court still found me guilty. Who said high school could never be compared a trial? Now the real craziness comes into play a week after the fight when my English teacher asked us to read Arthur Miller’s “The Crucible.” It amazed me how relevant the Salem Witch Trial was to my conflict.
This devious girl named Abigail Williams wrongly accused all of these people of witchcraft and everyone believed it which sent the town of Salem in an uproar. Now in my world, Abigail and her friends were played by Bria and her minions. Call me over dramatic, but I believe I faced my own type of Salem Witch Trial, minus the witch part. Honestly, I think everyone faces situations similar to the one written about in Miller’s play. Whether we like to admit it or not, we are all victims of something at some point: right, wrong, innocent, or guilty, everyone has a trail of their own but my advice to anyone who may endure such an awful thing, don’t let it ruin you the way it did me or those in Salem, Massachusetts.
So there you have it, the story of how my junior year became a real life nightmare. As ridiculous as it sounds, I did learn something from all of this chaos. I learned that as I take on the future and continue on throughout my life, there will always be an Abigail or a Bria. People like them exist everywhere and as much as we will try, we cannot escape them. But I will tell you this, malicious people like them need to be put in their place and stood up to, life is too precious to be consumed with pain and anger. So before you finish this page, always keep in my that everything is temporary: happiness, anger, guilt, it all ends at some point. I truly believe that we endure everything in our life for a reason. I believe that the good, bad, and the ugly must be experienced in order to grow as a person. At least I did. I guess what I’m trying to say is, life moves on and no matter what you go through, you will to.
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