I couldn’t sleep at all that night. Neither could Ina. She held me in her arms as I cried myself to sleep that night. It will be hectic tomorrow. Someone will be walking up the hill to go milk the cows, they’ll see his body. They’ll scream and run to my uncle for help. And it’ll begin. We woke up to crying and angry faces the next morning. Some people were yelling and screaming. Others were crying and throwing things. You could see the sadness, anger and sorrow flowing out of the ones who were grieving for Eddie’s death. His mom and dad would come up to us and ask us multiple times to tell them what happened that night. They kept asking us who killed Eddie. They pleaded to us, asked us, and asked god why anyone would want to kill their son. “Todo lo que ha hecho era bueno. Él pagaria por la comida, pagaría para la ropa de todos y tambien pagaria la renta cuando nosotros no podíamos.”
Ina and I had already made up a story last night to tell everyone. They all knew that we were with Eddie last night. We said that he left us at the house because he wanted to walk alone for a bit; plus it was getting late and he wanted us to get some sleep. Tia Chula, Eddie’s mom, didn’t want to believe it. She didn’t believe that he was dead. She kept shaking his body, telling him to wake up. She cried until she could no longer shed a tear. During the funeral she didn’t let much people go near his coffin. Only family could. When it was time for Ina and me to see Eddie, she pleaded us to tell her who killed him. We stuck to our story. She lied next to his grave until she could no longer bear it. After an hour of pleading to her son to wake up, finally realizing or at least accepting that he was gone, Tio Juan slowly pulled her away from his grave. We knew what she wanted. She wanted revenge for her son. We couldn’t tell her the truth or else we’d all be dead. We will keep our promise and not say anything. We will take whatever we know to our graves. We won’t say a word of what happened that night, ever. And that’s how it’s going to stay.
Thinking about coming home to mom was the only thing that kept the image of Tia Chula lying on the ground next to Eddie’s grave out of my mind. The night of Eddie’s death would play in my head over and over. Hearing his body hit the ground and not being able to turn around to help him haunted me. I would think of what would have happened if we did help him after they left. He would’ve made it if we just helped. I felt as if we were the ones who pulled the trigger. We killed him, we didn’t help him. Most of the plane ride, Ina and I didn’t say much to each other or to grandma. We’d only talked to the plane assistant when she asked us if we wanted more food. We were silent on the ride home from the airport. Mom was waiting for us, giving us all a hug and kiss on the cheek. She sent us to our rooms because it was late. “We’ll talk tomorrow ok.” I knew what she meant by that. Tomorrow would be interrogation day with mom. Of course Tia Chula called mom to tell her the news and if she could get some information about us from that night. I couldn’t sleep that night, I slept in my sister’s room.

For the rest of the night, we stayed up smoking weed until the sun rose. We were on cloud 9 and extremely hungry.it was maybe five or six in the morning. We took the car to go buy some McDonald’s. We think about what we promised Eddie. It’s not something you can’t get out of your head. We walked out of the house, we saw a black SUV parked on the other side of the street. We thought nothing of it at first, since we see those all the time. When it started following us, that’s when we got nervous. At first, we thought it was a cop because Ina was thirteen and she was driving. She learned how to drive in México but wasn’t old enough to get her license yet. That never stopped here though from driving when she got the chance. But it couldn’t be, there were no sirens or flashing lights. They got beside us, a dude waved his hand, telling us follow them. They led us toward a park not far from where we lived. It was too early in the morning for this. I just wanted some hash browns, but I didn’t argue. They’re from the gang that killed Eddie, here to check on us I guess. They were here to make sure that we didn’t say anything about that night. They got out of the car. There were four of them or maybe six. Since there were two guys still in the front seats and four of them got out.
They knew the area well, they started walking down a trail. After a few minutes they turned to walk in the woods, looking back to make sure we were following. Though we didn’t have a choice but follow them. There were two behind us and two in front. The forest eventually opened to a clearing that had a big wooden cabin in the center. With miniature campsites surrounding the cabin. My instinct was to stand behind Ina. Whenever I see people I don’t know, I shy away as much as I can. The man behind me didn’t like that. With a grunt of anodynes, he shoved me back beside Ina. I was too scared to say or do anything so I stayed next to my sister. We passed by many of the little campfires, heading toward the cabin. There were many people here of all different ages; of men and women of course. There kids as old as me. We passed by a man, he looked to be maybe only two years older than me. He had his arm extended toward a woman with pitch black hair. A scar went from her right temple all the way down to her chin. She was cleaning up a wound in his arm. He had the same scar on his face identical to the girls.
  Everyone looked at us differently. Some looked at us as trespassers, others like the older women looked at us with something close to pity or sadness; but also anger. I couldn’t quite figure out why. I saw a girl the same age as me, she was yelling at an older man to let her go. The look she gave me was full of anger but also fright and sadness was mixed in as when. Almost every emotion was in her eyes but happiness and joy. I stared at the ground until we reached the front of the cabin. Before the man could even knock on the door, it swung open. In the doorway was probably the biggest man I had ever seen. And I thought my Tio Vale was tall. This man was not only tall but also covered in tattoos and scars. You could see the muscles through his shirt. His shirt looked like it was going to burst off his body at any moment. He stepped aside for us to come in; well at first that’s what I thought. He only let in the guy in front of us in. The two guys behind us grabbed us by the arm. The young one that seemed like the nicest one of the bunch, told us to wait out here with them.
We stood there for a few minutes. I kept my head down. Many people were looking at us. I never liked being the center of attention and I didn’t want to start now. Whenever that does happen, I usually keep my head down and put my head buds in. usually when I do that people won’t talk to me. Especially if I’m in all black and wearing my black lipstick. That’s not the case here. I don’t have my head buds, I’m not wearing all black. I’m in my fluffy white pajama pants with red and pink lips on it. Also a t-shirt with butterflies on it. This was not helping the situation at all. People were of course still looking at us. I peeked over at Ina just for a split second. She walked off somewhere with the nice guy, they were both talking to a really tall girl with purple and blue streaks in her hair; she had a scary amount of piercings on her face. And she also had that huge long scar across her face. The nice guy had his back to me. I couldn’t tell if he was talking or not because he was just standing there; his kept moving side to side, looking from Ina to tall girl. I could see the tall girl and Ina. Tall girl wasn’t talking but Ina was. Though I couldn’t make out what she was says. The tall girl had a very serious puzzled look on her face. She turned her head in my direction when Ina pointed at me at one point. I quickly put my head back down to avoid her gaze. For a split second we made eye contact. I swear what I say in her eyes, I wasn’t expecting it. It was different than all the other looks I got from everyone else here. In her eyes was shock and sadness.
I felt something push me to the ground. I looked up, the big guy that opened the door the first time was standing over me. I heard Ina yelling in the distance. I couldn’t hear what she was saying because I had mud in my ears. I turned my head in her direction, where she was standing before. Ina, nice guy and tall girl were running toward me. They were standing all the way at the edge of the clearing so it would take them a few minutes to get back to the cabin. By the time they reached me, big guy picked me up off the ground. I think he asked if I was ok, but I wasn’t listening. I was trying to get mud off my face and out of my ears. Ina was about to tackle the big guy. Nice guy and tall girl held her by the arms as best they could. They didn’t do the best job, because of Ina’s size. I was standing right between big guy and Ina. Once she realized that she stopped struggling only to tell me to get out of the way. Nice guy and tall girl both were whispering things to her. She didn’t exactly relax or calm down, but she finally stood still. She grabbed me by the arm and pulled me back a few feet where nice guy and tall girl were standing. Ina was still yelling at the big guy. Tall girl said something to her that made her shut up. That didn’t stop her from giving him one of her death stare. Which I saw didn’t help get her point across (whatever her point was) because her stare didn’t seem to faze him.
I didn’t pay any attention to what was going on. I was still trying to get mud off of me. Once I was sure I got most of the mud in my eyes out, I looked up. I felt like a fly under a microscope, everyone was around us; staring at us. They either had a gun or some type of weapon; the older people and the kids were outside of the circle of people. One girl I saw even had a whip in her hand.
“Come on guys, she’s just protecting her lil sister, so chill. You guys all know how Karina gets.” Said the big guy “We’re not pointing them at her Bryan, we’re pointing them at you “Said a guy with the biggest blue-green mohawk I’ve ever seen. Bryan just shrugged and said “I didn’t know she was there in the first place. So back off Theodor” everyone burst out laughing. I’m guessing that this was a normal thing for Bryan to say since Theodor didn’t seen upset, just really annoyed. “Whatever man, but we all know you did that on purpose just to get Karina mad. I saw you looking out the window watching.” I could see Bryan starting to tense up. His facial expression didn’t change. “I saw how you looked towards Karina, then at her sister, you saw how she was in front of the door and kicked it open.” I heard Ina inhale a breath. She does that whenever she’s mad. And at this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if they just let her attack Bryan. Cause he really seems like an asshole right now. “That’s a f***ing lie and you know it! You’re just saying this s*** so Big Jon will send me away again. Well not a chance little man. He already told me imma be staying for good. So shut the f*** up little man before I kill you again.” A girl with beautiful long silky blue and purple hair took him by the arm and started dragging him away toward a little girl and baby boy that was crying. “Yeah that’s right, walk away. And the next time you say some stupid s*** like that, I’ll make sure you stay dead next time!!!!”
I was in shock that I didn’t see a medium sized man leaning against the door frame. He had a s*** ton of gold chains on. He had on a black expensive looking silk shirt with matching pants. He had a massive beer belly, short, round fat unshaved face. His shirt was not buttoned up right and he reeked of corona. I couldn’t tell if he was mad or not of what just happened. To me, he doesn’t give a f*** what just happened. He started staring at me, it was freaking me out. I moved closer to Ina. He yelled something, but it was in Spanish. He was talking so fast that. I couldn’t really understand what he was saying.
I didn’t stand there long. Ina, tall girl and nice guy started pulling me toward they were last standing. “Chickie, you really gotta start paying attention to what’s going on around you so you won’t get hurt or killed. Trust me honey since you’re new, many people don’t like you just cause of that. So try stay on your toes ok.” Said the tall girl “Ira seriously what were you thinking by just standing there. You should’ve ran to us once you saw us standing over here.” Ina looked like she could’ve smacked me right there “You gotta stick with me now. You never leave me sight.” I didn’t understand why she was so mad at me. I had my head down and was zoning the world out. When I do that I don’t really pay much attention to what happens around me. I was too in shock to even talk so I just nodded. “Good, ok so this is Jessica and Armando. They’re the only two people I know and trust in this entire gang of wackos. They’re gonna be showing us the ropes of things. She’s got a sister your age. You can borrow clothes from her. Almost every month, they give us a chance to all get some new clothes at any store we wanna shop at. So you gotta save a pair of clean clothes for that day.” I wondered why she said I had to save a pair of clothes for that day, until I started looking around and saw that everyone’s clothes were dirty in one form or another.
After that, Ina told me to go sit down on tree that was a few feet away from where they were standing. I asked why I couldn’t just stand by her like she said. “Just shut up and go sit down Ira. But don’t put your head down and zone out like you did over there. Keep your head up and pay attention to what’s going on around you, like Jessica said. Now go sit down and wait there. I’ll call you over when it’s time to go home. Which will be soon because mom needs the car for work.”
I stayed where Ina told me to stay and I paid attention to what was going on instead of keeping my head down. A lot of people were looking at me funny. I really didn’t feel comfortable just sitting there alone at the edge of the clearing. I kept looking at the girl with the pitch black hair; she kept smiling at me. It wasn’t one of those friendly smiles. It was one of those devilish smiles that many people here have. Kept giving me that smile and was laughing. She kept looking at me then behind me. Sometimes I can tell when something or someone’s behind me. But I didn’t feel anything or anyone. I felt like a cornered dog. I don’t know if I wanted to fight or flight. But if I did that I wouldn’t know where to go. We are way deep in the woods after all.

I think I fell asleep. Cause I woke up to Ina shaking me, “get up! Get up! We have to go, now! GET UP!” I saw fear in her eyes again, I didn’t like it. It’s the second time today I’ve seen it. I didn’t know what was going. Behind her Bryan was holding back the man with the s*** ton of chains on. He was yelling in Spanish and pointing at our direction very angrily. He looked really pissed. Jessica and Armando were behind Ina. Once I got up, Armando took me by the arm. He asked Ina for the keys of mom’s car and started dragging me into the woods. I’m really getting tired of people dragging me around everywhere. I’m seriously feeling like a 1 year old that needs help with anything and everything. I had no idea where Armando was taking me.
“Sorry to be dragging you around like this but you really couldn’t stay there any longer. I know we don’t know each other but Karina trust me. Which means you can trust me. At least I hope you trust me. Or you’ll start to trust me soon, I hope. What basically happened back there was Karina said something that Big Jon didn’t want to hear and he got upset. So he started coming after you. And for some reason Bryan held him back. But since he was going after you and can’t right now, he will most likely send some people after us. I’m taking you to my car and taking you back home. You’ll be safe there.”
I wasn’t following anything he was saying. I mean, I know Ina says a lot of things. She does have a big mouth and always says what’s on her mind all the time. She’ll argue with mom about what she can and cannot do. So I wasn’t surprise that she would say something to that man or insult him in a way. But I didn’t understand why the man would go after me and not Ina. Not that I want him to come after any of us. But if he was mad with her, why did he go after me. I think Armando could tell what I was thinking, he didn’t really give me the explanation that he clearly saw I wanted to hear
“You’re still too young for me to tell you what they were saying to each other.” A dark storm of hatred, anger, and disgust came over him. “Are you ok?” We were in the parking lot, he looked at me, surprise “What? Is it bad for me to ask you that? You just look really pissed off right there.” He just kept looking at me. What’s up with people looking at me with that look? First Jessica and now this guy. “Are you ok enough to drive me home? I just want to make sure you don’t drive while you’re angry like you just were. Because when Ina drives mad, she speeds a lot. And that’s scares me.” He started laughing. “What?” I asked “why are you laughing?”
He looked at me and smiled “You’re not scared of a bunch of people with all kinds of weapons in their hands being around you, you’re not scared of Bryan or Big Jon when he wanted to attack you. But you are scared when someone drives when there mad?” he chuckles “You’d think with what you went through in México and after what just happened back there, you’d be crying a lot by now and I’d have to get you to trust me enough for you to come with me. You’re only eleven years old. You should be in shock right now. You should be trembling and not be trusting anyone right now. You should be crying or something. Instead you ask me if I’m ok” I looked at him for a second. I didn’t know I was supposed to be breaking down or crying. I didn’t even know what was going on. And crying doesn’t seem to ever solve anything. I learned that already. All it does is waste your energy and make your eye puffy. So what was to point?
“I don’t feel like crying.” I told him “It never fixes anything.”
He was about to open the door for me, paused for a second, opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again and closed it. Trying to find something to say, but couldn’t. Shaking his head, we got in the car, got me food at McDonald’s and drove me home.

***
            I had no idea what happened to Ina once Armando took me away. I wanted to know what was happening, but he wouldn’t tell me anything. He just kept saying that I wasn’t ready yet to know what’s going on. I asked him why a nice guy like him is hanging out with those messed up people. Instantly, a dark cloudy storm came over him. I couldn’t tell if he was anger or upset, or both. All he said was “all imma tell you honey, is to not f*** up.” I could see the storm above him grow stronger. I didn’t want to get him mad, so I shut up after that. I didn’t really know what he meant by that at the time. But the way he said it made me not want to know what he truly meant to say. Armando didn’t drop me off at home exactly, he dropped me off by the school.
“J and I will be the ones who will be watching and protecting you and your family, ok Chickie. J said your parents are up. Act like you went for a walk with Karina. Run toward the house. Say Karina and you were racing to see a rabbit that you guys saw. Say Karina is still running. I don’t think your mom will completely freak out. J told her to do the same thing.”
I didn’t who this guy was. All I know is he saved me I don’t know how many times today. But whenever he started telling me to do something, I listen and do it. I thank him and ran to my house like he told me to.
Walking into the house, it was a war zone. People were yelling and screaming. Grandma was crying, she looked as if she was dying. Which isn’t funny what so ever. Mom and dad were screaming at each other while mom was screaming into the phone. I walked in, no one noticed. The first thing I do is run to grandma, I ask her if she’s ok, if she could hear me at all. Her eyes opened so wide, I thought she was getting choked. I had no idea what the hell was going on. She started pushing me away, mumbling things that I couldn’t understand. Then she started yelling at me. “Deja de hablar, por favor. Dejame en pas. No eres real. No estás aquí. Estas muerta. No eres real.”
What was happening? Why is she acting like this? I didn’t know what was about to happen next, was going to change everything.