CRACK! I jolted awake in my bed, eyes wide and alert. It was storming, bad... just like it was on that night... My body began to shake and shiver, and then I noticed that the room was all dark. I usually keep my TV on at least. Sigh. The power's out. I hate thunderstorms especially when the power goes out. Don't get me wrong. I love the rain, but I hate thunderstorms and the dark. My imagination always finds a way of creeping me out, like now.


I started turning my head left and right, squinting my eyes, trying to see something. All I could see is outlines of various objects around my little room. I leaned over oh-so-carefully to examine the side of my bed and making sure there wasn't anything or anyone that would snatch me up. Once I worked up the courage to try to get out of bed, I wrapped my comfy blanket around me and made a mad dash for the door. I threw open the door and ran straight across the hall into Kole's room, jumped on the bed, and snuggled up to him.


Kole isn't just my older brother, he's my savor, my knight in shining armor, an angel sent straight from heaven, and a lot of other things along those lines. Other people wouldn't even put him under the 'okay guy' list, but I guess that's because they don't know him like I do. They just look at his reputation and think “Wow. He's a loser.... He's such a bad influence... Can't that guy get a life...” and other various insults. You can say that Kole has worked up the 'bad boy' image. He hasn't ever tried to be that kind of person, and he really does try to be nice, but it never seems to work out for him. He's just one of those people who are always at the wrong place at the wrong time. About three or four years ago, he finally gave up on trying to tell people he wasn't like that so he pretty much went with the flow. My image of him hasn't diminished; if anything, it's grown. Kole has been the one person that has always been there. He's basically the mother I never had. My mother wasn't a mean or non-caring mother at all; she just didn't know how to be a mother. She was always just so unsure of what to do. But Kole was always motherly. I don't know how he became that way exactly. It might be due to the fact that when we were younger he would take care of my little sister and I, and after mom and my sister died, he became even more so of a motherly figure to me... and my poor father.


Kole stirred, craned his neck, and looked at me with sleepy green eyes.
“What's wrong, Kaden?” He asked groggily.
I point to the window across his bed, whimpered a bit at another roaring sound of thunder, and looked at him with frightened eyes when the thunder cracked loudly again. It was like it was laughing at me, taunting me to remember. I hadn't noticed I was starring out of the window until I heard Kole sigh and shift on the bed. I turned around slowly to look at him. From the lightening coming in from outside I could see that his hair was tussled and everywhere. I felt bad for waking him up. I was about to start criticizing myself until I felt arms around me. I hugged Kaden back with a fierce grip.
“Easy tiger. I won't be able to breathe before too long if you keep doing that,” he said with a laugh when I quickly left go.
He leaned back on his bed and pulled back the covers a little for me to get in. He placed my cover over his after I laid down beside him. He cuddled with me like he would with a small fragile child.
“We have to start school tomorrow...”
I sighed inward and literally. He brushed back my hair, kissed my forehead, and said, “Get some sleep.” By the time he said that, though, I was already fast asleep.

Sigh. This is it. I took a deep breath and looked up at Kole, hoping for some kind of sign that he was as nervous as I was. However, there was none. I sighed again, disappointed. He never showed what he was really feeling. He always acting so calm and cool. Then again, I should be scolding myself. This is only the hundredth time that we have had to move and change schools, so I should be used to it, but of course, I have to be the little pansy and get all nervous and scarred. I wish I was more like a boy, no, more like Kole.
I jerked a little when I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up at Kole's smiling face.
“Don't worry, Kaden. It'll be just fine,” he said so sure of himself.
I just gave him a look that said “Are.you.effing.joking,” but of course, he wasn't.
“Would it help if I promised not to get in trouble today?” Kole tried again.
I rolled my eyes at him and continued to walk ahead of him up to our new school. It looked like it came out of some horror movie. It was huge, well, to me it was huge and very Gothic. It was one of the biggest schools I have been to. It was probably three stories high, and it looked like it was at least four football fields long. Oh my freaking god. I am sooo in for it. There is no way I'll ever be able to find my way around.
Kole bumped shoulders with me, laughed when I almost fell flat on my face, then said, “C'mon, silly head. Don't go wondering off into outterspace on me again. Now, let's get to it!”
He definitely said that last part way too enthusiastically, but instead of hitting him, I followed him toward what I was assuming was the main office. He went inside and walked up to the lady behind a large counter that covered half the length of the room and dropped down about half-way to a smaller portion of it, which was where the woman was sitting, a computer in front of her. She looked like she was in her early twenties and out of place compared to the dark scenery surrounding her.
“Hello, Miss. I'm here to pick up my brother's and I's schedules this lovely morning,” Kole finished with a bright smile. Lovely my ass.
The woman looked taken aback, which was not surprising. To hear such sweet, polite words come out of a boy that looked like Kole's mouth would be quite the shocker. He was wearing baggy, but not saggy, pants with holes in the knees and some other places, a black long sleeved undershirt with a Rocky Horror Picture Show shirt on top of it, which had some pretty not-school-appropriate stuff on it and was ripped in half. Kole had what people would call “emo hair.” It was short in the back and spiked, while his bangs were past his chin and had some blue and purple streaks through them. He usually had his lip, eyebrow, and nose rings in, but decided that was a bit too much for school, even though they could most likely kick him out for what he already had on. He did, however, have his many earrings in along with his nipple piercing. Yes, nipple piecing. Although, I can't figure out why in the world he only got one. I mean, he already had one done. Why not seal the deal and get both pierced?
“Um, well, yes. Of course! But, dear, we, um, don't hand out our schedules at the main office,” the women stuttered out.
“Oh! Well, ma'am, where do we get our schedules?” Kole asked sweetly. Or should I say flirtatiously?
“Um, well, what grade are you in, honey?” the woman said blushing like crazy. Oh. Gag me!
“My brother, Kaden, here is in tenth grade, and I am a senior this year,” he said with a wink,
I'm gonna throw up.... Why do you have to be such a flirt, Kole? I mean, really,you would flirt with a squirrel if you could get some fun out of it.
“Well, then,” she started off looking down at her keyboard, “you will need to go to the gym.”
“And what about my brother?” He asked when she didn't say after a few seconds. It's a surprise he didn't forget about me.
“Oh! Right. He will need to go to the cafeteria,” she said flustered, “Oh! I almost forgot. It might be helpful if I told you that there will be four tables in both the gym and cafeteria. In the cafeteria, two will belong to the freshmen, and the other will belong to sophomores. In the gym, two tables will belong to the juniors, and then, the others will belong to the seniors, of course.”
Kole nodded through the whole thing probably not paying attention to a word she said.
“Thank you, ma'am,” he said and began to head for the door, but turned around quickly as soon as he reached for the door knob, “Oh yeah, do you think that maybe you could give us both a map of the school, Miss? You see, we're new here and don't know where anything is.”
“I'm sorry! I should have known since you came to the office instead of going to the designated areas! I'm terribly sorry,” she finished and handed me two pieces of paper since I was the closest.
I gave her a small smile, turned around, and walked out of the door. All the while, Kole was behind me chuckling like an idiot. I gave him an annoyed look, then looked at the maps in my hand.
“Oh, come on. She was actually pretty cute and young. Don't you think so?” Kole said.
I just kept walking and focused on the maps in my hands. There was a picture of the front of the school on the front of each of the papers. It was supposed to be see-through, but considering they were trying to show that with black ink on paper, it did not work out too well. It had three lines (trying to) show that there were three stories in the building. On the back of the papers, there was a map of the first and second floors from an areal point of view. Lines were drawn in boxes to show the class rooms, and there were just barely readable numbers in each “class room.” Right underneath and above the maps were the numbers indicating what the class were. All in all, it was just a stupid map showing us where to go. Surprisingly, though, the school only had two stories of classes. I'm assuming that the third floor is some kind of attic/storing area that probably hasn't been entered in a long time.
Suddenly, the maps were ripped out of my hands. I gave Kole a sour look.
“Calm down, Miss Priss. I just wanted to see where the hell we're supposed to be going in this God forsaken place,” he said handing me one of the maps.
“Well,” Kole started, “it looks like we are headed in the wrong direction.”
I stopped right in my tracks, looked at my map, and slapped my forehead when I realized he was right. I grabbed Kole's wrist and went in the right direction this time.
It didn't take long for us to get to the cafeteria even though Kole kept stopping and wanted to check out every little thing he thought was interesting. He was a very curious person. It could be really annoying at times, and today was one of those times. Although, now that I'm standing at the doorway to the cafeteria, I should have wasted as much time as possible. This place was a freaking mad house. People were everywhere, and I hate people. I especially hate crowds. Deep breathes. Inhale, exhale. Don't freak out, Kaden. Everything will be A-Okay.... Hopefully.
“Hey, you okay? Alright, stupid question. I know how you are. But don't worry, kiddo. Just breathe; don't get too worked up about all the people. If you want I'll go with you to get your schedule, and then, after that you can come with me to the gym so we can get mine. After that, if we have time, I'll help you find your classes,” Kole finished with a soft smile.
He put a hand gently on my shoulder and asked, “Does that sound good to you?”
I nodded my head slowly still unsure about this whole thing. I have never liked crowds. I usually get lost and confused. Sometimes it just feels like I'm suffocating, like I can't breathe. It's a horrible feeling.
Kole took my hand in his and made his way through the crowd. I don't know how he found the right table, but he did. There was a paper sign hanging below the table that had “10th Grade Schedules” typed on it with “N-Z” underneath that. There were about five people in front of us, but it didn't take long at all since there were two teachers at the table. When we reached the table, Kole stepped over to the teacher on the right.
“Name, please,” the man said in a gruffy voice.
“Kaden White,” Kole said nonchalantly.
The man looked up as he handed Kole the schedule. His face turned into a disapproving scowl, and it looked like he was going to say something about Kole's wardrobe or his hair, but before he could get anything out of his mouth, Kole said, “Why thank you, sir!”
Then he turned around and walked off with me trailing behind him. I took one look back and saw that the man still had his mouth slightly open, staring at us. Then, I crashed to the floor.
“Oh my gosh! I am so so sooo sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going, and, and I didn't see you there. I mean, you're just so tiny, and I wasn't looking, and I'm sorry,” the boy standing above me said quickly.
While getting my bearings, I gave him a once over(well, more like a twice over since there is no way I would be able to get a good look at the person who knocked me down). He was wearing skinny jeans, converse, and a black T-shirt with something kind of image on the front. I couldn't see what was on his shirt exactly, though, because he had his arms around books that he was pressing close to himself. He has black hair that was ruffled somewhat, but it was more like a natural “bed” ruffle. He had on black rimmed glasses that were sliding down his nose. He reminded me of an abused puppy. He looked scared like he was afraid I would get up and start yelling and/or beating him. Is he shaking? Better yet, is he really afraid of lil' ol' me? Now that is just ridiculous. Look at me, I'm all small and girly. I couldn't hurt a fly.... but then again not many people have skills to hurt one. >.>
I looked at his face and gave him a gentle smile, hoping he would calm down before he had a heart attack. As I was getting up, Kole slung his arm around the boy's shoulder's. Bad idea, idiot. The kid looked like he was going to sh*t his pants. Way to go. Way to go, Kole. First day of school and you're going to kill somebody.
“Whoa. Easy, kiddo. I'm not going to bite... much,” Kole said with a wink, but then added, “I'm just kidding! I'm not going to hurt you. Neither of us are. I promise,” when the boy took him seriously.
I hit Kole's arm that wasn't around the boy and gave him a look that said “knock it off.”
Kole rolled his eyes at me, took his arm of the kid's shoulders, and said, “I'm Kole, and this cute little lamb chop here is my brother, Kaden.”
When he said “cute little lamb chop,” he couldn't resist the urge to pinch one of my cheeks, which I responded with a glare and a slap to his hand.
“Oh! Um, I'm Tom,” the boy, er Tom said with an uneasy smile. I'm guessing he still didn't trust us.
“Well, then, it is very nice to meet you, Tom. I think I'll call you Tommy. It suits you much better,” Kole said with a big, bright smile;then, continued, “May I ask what grade you are in, Tom?”
“Oh, um, sure?” Tom said confused.
“Well, what grade are you in then?” Kole said with an amused expression.
“Oh! Sorry. Um, I'm a sophomore this year,” Tom said blushing.
“What a coincidence! Kaden is a sophomore as well. Might I ask you what your first period is then?” Kole asked with a chuckle. He was probably enjoying this poor boy's suffering.
“Um, I have Mrs. Greenway in room 43D for art,” he said catching on this time.
“Well, there's another coincidence. Kaden also has Mrs. Greenway for art first period,” Kole said sneakily. It feels like he's hiding something...or at least coming up with some kind of scheme.
“Oh, um, I look forward to seeing you in there then. Maybe we could sit together?” Tom said looking down. This boy blushed a lot, but it was cute in a way.
I gave him a smile that I hoped he would take as a yes, but Kole decided to take care of it for me.
“He would love to sit with you! But if you will excuse us. I would like to get my schedule, and we were going to wonder around to try to find our classes before classes start,” he said finished in a more gentle tone.
“O-Okay. Good luck, and, um, I look forward to seeing you in art,” Tom said as we started to walk off.
I gave him the best smile I could and nodded my head before I turned around to follow Kole to the gym. All we had to do was go through the cafeteria to the other side, go through that door, follow the hallway until it ended, and the turn left. Easy as cake.
“So, what do you think?” Kole said interrupting my thoughts. His arms were bent behind his head and he had that sneaky smirk plastered on his face.
I gave him a confused look because honestly I had no idea what he was talking about.
“About Tom? What do you think about him? He was pretty cute don't you think? I think you two would be a cute couple,” Kole said with that smirk still on his face.
I slapped his arm and looked down, blushing like crazy. You see I am gay, which means I like boys, which means that whenever Kole got the chance, he teased me about it. Now that I think about it, though, if I liked girls, he would still tease me about it. He doesn't give me a hard time about it like most older brothers would do, but he does love to tease me like crazy. Even if he did give me a hard time about the whole me being gay thing, he would be a huge hypocrite considering he's done more than I have with a guy. No, he's not gay. He's just bisexual. Although, that's not really saying much since he's a horn-dog, but that doesn't mean he goes around and screws everything he finds attractive. In fact, he's actually really careful about it and has morals about sleeping with people.
It's sad. I'm a sophomore. I'm gay, and apparently, I'm really cutesy, but I haven't even had my first kiss yet. Yes, I know. It's extremely sad. I'm almost sixteen and haven't even had my first kiss yet. My life is ending! I'm dying. Just kidding. It's not ending, and I'm not dying. I just don't focus on those nonessential things. My mind does linger on it sometimes, and the “what if's” do come around as well. Sometimes I think about just running up to the most attractive guy I know and giving them a big smooch, but then, I think better of it. Mostly, however, it really isn't all that important. I haven't really had a need for a relationship. There's always that want, but come on. I'm a guy and a teenage guy for that matter. Now, as for the gay part... I do know I am gay regardless if I've kissed a girl or boy yet. Trust me; I know. I've looked at a naked woman's picture before. It did nothing for me, but if for some unknown reason, I find a woman who proves what I know wrong and I fall for her, I will let you know.
“Alrighty then. Let's stop the dilly-dallying and get going,” Kole said breaking me out of my thoughts.


Pretty much the same thing that happened in the cafeteria happened in the gym when Kole went to go get his schedule except the teacher he got his schedule from actually said something about his attire and hair. Luckily, he didn't get in trouble. He just had to promise to dye it by tomorrow. Right now, we were wondering through the hallway just a little ways down from my first class, which also happens to be my homeroom. It was about a minute or so before classes began. Kole and I found all of our classes,well, I found all but one class. Kole found all of his, and it just so happens that his first class is a few doors down from mine. The bell rang, but I swear, it was more like screech.
“Alrighty then, lil' bro. This is it. Just remember that I have my cell I you need anything at all. Do you have yours?” Kole asked holding my shoulders in his hands.
I gulped and gave him a small nod.
“And remember that Tom will be in your first period. He seems like good kid, so I won't worry too much this period, but I want you to text me and let me now how you're doing, alright? But I'm sure you'll do fine,” he said. I think the last part was more for him than me.
“Be good, and show all your teachers the note. I love you. Be safe,” Kole said with a big hug before walking in the direction of his class. He stayed just outside his door, so I knew he was waiting until I went inside my class. This is it. Sigh. Deep breaths, Kaden. It'll all be just fine. And with that, I twisted the knob of the door and hoped for the best.