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Tất cả sẽ giảm (All Shall Fall)
Author's note: We were given a country in our Creative writing class. I decided to put a twist to my story instead of making it the normal romance that I prefer to write.
It was a humid day in September, when Tie^n Ly decided something had to be done. Since she was born, Tie^n had lived in the capital, Ha Noi, of Vietnam. Her parents were part of the government, and she planned to follow into their footsteps. She never thought anything would be better, and was surprised when her beloved country was considered cruel and manipulative.
Tie^n had visited other countries for an academic scholar trip. She got to see how everyone worked as a democracy, and people had a say in government. Tie^n couldn’t help but think how horrifying her country would seem to these people. How could the government not have a strict grasp on the country?
The most astonishing country had been America. She saw girls running down the streets in nothing but bits of cloth. She thought it was strange, and went home after seeing the entire country. After seeing such a free spirited country, she could never think of her home the same.
Tie^n decided to talk to her parents about it. Since they were in government, maybe they could change some things.
“Mother, are you home?”
“Give me a second, dear.”
Her mother walked down the stairs and took Tie^n’s hand.
“What is it dear?”
“Do you remember when I went to America?”
“Yes, I hated letting you go over there.”
“What do you mean?”
“America is such a dirty place. It is not where children, your age, should be.”
“It was actually a beautiful place. I wanted to ask why we weren’t like them.”
“What on earth do you mean?”
“Well, their country is full of free spirits. We are under one strict power. Why can’t we have a choice?”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Of course it is. How could it not be?”
“Well…”
Tie^n didn’t want to here the boring history of her country, AGAIN. She knew that American’s had come into the country years ago to help the southern part of Vietnam. They wanted to have a government just like America, and not Communism like China had tried to push onto them. It had been a tough time back then and now, Tie^n thought it the government needed change again.
Tie^n’s parents were in government, but that would not guarantee her the opportunity to speak with officials. She wanted to discuss the topic of some reforms. She knew she was only a girl, but she was going to try.
She did some research at the government building a week later. If she was going to talk to the officials, she needed to know what she was to say. Tie^n thought it would take days to find all of her information, but it only took a matter of minutes.
While researching, Tie^n had found a top secret file on the computer. Apparently, the idiot who was updating the file did not completely shut it down. Tie^n just laughed. These people could be complete idiots.
She looked at a report that claimed that Confucianism, their way of life, was taking away the innovation and exploration within the country. Children are not able to use their imagination as much and can not quiet their curiosity. It also said that the women were limited to small tasks and little freedom because of male dominance
Tie^n had known that women were not given much work; it still didn’t make sense that the men were in complete control. She had grown up with her father treating her mother like an equal. Reading the article, did not make sense to her. It was as if her family was a part from the rest of the country.
She looked at a few more articles and decided to go home. Tie^n felt it would be wise not to ask her mother any more questions. If she did, she may end up in jail for all she knew. Her country was all a lie.
Tie^n didn’t know what her next move would be. Obviously, something had to be done about the situation, but what? It wasn’t like Tie^n could start a rebel. Or could she? She ran down the block to her friend Hein Hoa. Hein would know exactly what to do.
“Hein, are you home?”
“Yes, who is it?”
“It’s Tie^n. May I come in?”
“Sure, but take off your shoes.”
Tie^n practically ran into the house. She sat down with Hein and began to tell her everything. Hein had always had problems with the government, and Tie^n knew she would be the person to talk to.
“The government is corrupt!”
“I have been trying to tell you this for years.”
“Well, I never thought it was, then. Now, that I have seen how other countries are and the articles, I believe more and more.”
“Well, about time! Now, we can do something about it.”
“Wait, what do you mean?”
“We can rebel!”
“Are you crazy?”
“May be, but think about it. What more is there that we can do? If we write to the government they are going to say we are just kids. They will say we do not listen to our elders or authority. If we rebel, may be something will be done.”
“You’re insane.”
“That’s what they tell me.”
Tie^n smiled. Hein always knew what to do.
Over the next few months, Tie^n and Hein were hard at work. They had to set everything in motion, but first they needed some other supporters. Tie^n went around the school handing out flyers in code. The kids had made this code so that the teachers had no idea what they were saying when they passed notes in class.
Hein had put on the flyers that there would be a meeting that would discuss what they needed to say. Out of one thousand kids, about seven hundred showed up. Tie^n had been so nervous about he meeting, that she had totally forgotten about adults catching them.
“Good evening everyone. I’m Hein Hoa and this is Tie^n Ly. We wanted to talk to you all about the government.”
“Who cares? It’s not like we can do anything.”
Tie^n looked over to see who had said that. There was a boy that she knew, but couldn’t place his name.
“Who are you? I don’t recognize your face,” Hein said.
“My name is Chien Sang. I don’t understand why you all would want to talk about the government.”
“Because it is corrupt,” Tie^n replied.
“What do you mean?”
Tie^n began to speak in front of all the students. You could hear the gasps coming from the crowd. They seemed as surprised as Tie^n had when she learned of the corruption. Hein had a look on her face, which Tie^n thought looked like she was hatching a plan.
“All right people. Tie^n and I have been looking up about what is going on. So far, many people don’t know, and we need to change that. We need numbers, which is what we don’t have. If you do not help us, after what you just heard, you are complete…”
Tie^n covered Hein’s mouth. They didn’t need that kind of language at this point.
“Are you all with us?”
At least three hundred kids got up and left the building. There were only a few people who stayed put.
“You all understand that we will be rebelling, right?”
Chien stood up and looked Tie^n directly in the eye.
“We’re in.”
“Great.”
Tie^n worked with the others while Hein and Chien worked on getting numbers. Chien seemed to be really interested in what the girls were planning, and it made Tie^n think they were doing something right, for a change.
As the weeks went by, Hein and Chien had gathered a minimum of one thousand students from around the country. They were truly inspired by what Hein and Tie^n decided to do. They were going to make history.
Two nights before the planned rebellion, Tie^n’s parents stopped her as she began to climb the stairs.
“Where have you been?”
“I have been with Hein.”
“But where have you been?”
“We have been going to the shops down town every day. We are waiting for the new Nina Nguyen collection.”
“Oh, I see. Well, you may go on to bed.”
“Thank you. Goodnight.”
That had been too close for Tie^n. She had to be careful about how long she was out each night. It looked like her parents were becoming suspicious. After she thought her parents were asleep, she tip-toed downstairs to get something to eat. Her mother stood in the kitchen, sipping some Chi tea.
“Hello, my dear.”
“Hi.”
“Late night snack?”
“Yes ma’am, I am having a hard time sleeping.”
“Would it have anything to do with your plans for rebellion?”
Tie^n dropped the cup that she had planned to put tea in. It hit the floor and smashed into a thousand pieces.
“N-n-n-no. Why would you think of something like that?”
“I saw these flyers sitting on the counter at the drug store. They seem to be written in your hand writing.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, mother. I would never do such a thing.”
“Do not lie to me!”
“I am not!”
Tie^n’s mother smacked her across the face.
“Don’t you dare speak to me like that!”
Tie^n looked at her mother. She couldn’t believe that her mother had actually hit her.
“How could you hit me? I am your ONLY daughter!”
“You don’t disrespect your elders. Do you hear me?”
“Loud and clear, dear mother.”
“You will NOT participate in this ridiculous rebellion. Do you have any idea what will happen to you if you go through with this?”
“It’s not your place to tell me what I can and cannot do. You know what? I don’t know what will happen if I speak up. Hopefully, some change will take place.”
“You will be sentenced to death.”
“Well, if I can get people to realize this god forsaken place is corrupt, then my death won’t be a waste.”
“Don’t talk like that.”
“I can say what I want. Goodbye Mother.”
“Tie^n!”
Tie^n went to the front door, looked back at her mother, and left. She was not going to put up with her mother’s lies. She rushed to Hein’s home to find shelter. What she found, was a surprise to her.
Hein’s family was gone. The house was boarded up, and it looked like no one had been there in days. That was impossible. Tie^n had been there just the other day. There was only one place left that Tie^n knew Hein would be at.
Tie^n headed to the Van Mieu Temple. It was where they would go when they wanted a quiet place to read. Tie^n looked around for their hiding spot, but could not find it. It had been months since she had been here.
“Oh, Hein. Please be here!”
Tie^n searched the area, but could not find Hein. Tie^n began to panic. How was the rebellion supposed to go on, without the leader, or co-leader? She began to scream out Hein’s name, until she heard a shout.
“Hein?”
“Would you hush? Unlike you, I am trying to hide from the government.”
“What do you mean?”
“They know about the rebellion!”
“What? How?”
“I don’t know. Did your mother figure it out?”
Tie^n looked at Hein. That is exactly who had let the rest of the government know about the rebellion.
“I can’t believe her! She confronted me about it, but I stormed off, looking for you.”
“Wait. She figured it out? How?”
“My handwriting on the flyers. She knew it was mine. I denied it and she smacked me.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, she hits pretty hard.”
“Jeez.”
Hein took Tie^n into this secret hiding place that had been unlocked about a year ago. Hein had never taken her here, for the fear of Tie^n’s mother finding it.
“I am done with her, Hein. I swear it.”
“We will all be done with her soon.”
Tie^n bowed her head. She knew what Hein meant. They would all die as soon as they began the rebellion. Tie^n was going to die at her mother and father’s hands. That’s a heck of a way to go out of life.
The day of the rebellion, police officers crowded the streets. No one knew the time that the rebellion was going to start. It was up to Tie^n, Hein, and Clein, they were to signal the rest of the students.
Tie^n was terrified. How were her parents going to feel when she showed up at the rebellion? They were going to be utterly shocked. She had to stand up for what was right, and not hide behind the lies. It was time for change.
Tie^n and Hein, stood in the middle of the Van Mieu Temple where everyone could see them. They both raised their fists in the air. Students began to file out of hiding spots. They all gathered around the girls, and raised their fists as well. Tie^n was going to be the first to speak, if Hein didn’t beat her to it.
“We have been lied to. We have been manipulated by this pathetic government. It is time that we took a stand.”
“Yeah!”
“We deserve more freedom than what we have now.”
“Yeah!”
“It is time for us to get rid of this government once and for all!”
“Yeah!”
“ALL SHALL FALL!! Tất cả sẽ giảm!”
“Tất cả sẽ giảm!!”
Everyone began to rush towards the government building. Tie^n could see her parents standing on the balcony, watching the people below in disgust. She didn’t think they could see her. They were going to shortly.
“Chein. Give me a boost.”
“All right.”
Tie^n got onto Chein’s shoulders and began to shout again. She looked up at her parents who were looking down upon her.
“ALL SHALL FALL!!”
“You don’t have to do this Tie^n.”
Her mother was crying. Tie^n knew that when it came to her death, her mother would not be the one to do it.
“I do, Mother. You all won’t listen.”
Tie^n shouted for everyone to rush into the building. They began to ransack the place, and destroyed all the property. Her mother and father rushed to the phone to call all the guards on duty. This was going to be interesting.
One of the guards headed towards Tie^n and she slammed her fist into his nose. She then took her knee and shoved it into his groin. Another came for her and she elbowed him in the face as well. Hein and Chein looked like they were doing fine, so she didn’t have to worry about them.
Tie^n headed for the stairs to where the leader was. She was going to be the one to look him in the eyes as he died. She looked to her left and right when she was at the top of the stairs. Which way was the leader? She assumed it was where all the guards were.
“Move out of my way!”
The guards didn’t budge. Tie^n nailed each and every one of the guards with a blow to the groin. There was no way they were going to stop her from her mission. She opened the door to see the leader looking out the window.
“I have been expecting you, Tie^n Ly.”
“As have I, Hoang Dieu.”
He turned around in his chair.
“When are you ever going to learn, my dear child, that you will never beat me.”
“Never say never.”
She lifted a gun from her pocket. She aimed straight at his head, she was going to kill him. He began to laugh at her face.
“Silly child, you will never shoot me.”
“Oh, won’t I?”
“Nope.”
As soon as the words left his lips, a shot fired through his window and hit Tie^n in between the eyes. She fell straight to the ground with a thud. Hoang leaned over her body, and began to laugh. He spit on her and looked out into the hall where her parents stood.
“You should have killed her before.”
He turned back to the window. One of his guards went outside with a blow horn. He announced that their precious, Tie^n Ly, was now dead, and that they should leave before they all die as well.
Hein and Chein looked at eachother. All the others began to back away, and ran for their lives. If they had this choice, they were going to live. Hein walked straight up to the guard and looked him straight in the eye.
“Shoot me, then.”
He pulled out his gun, and shot Hein in the heart. She fell to her knees, then slumped backwards. The blood drained from Chein’s face.
“Do you want to die too?”
Chein shook his head, he fled as quick as possible. He couldn’t believe that Tie^n and Hein had died standing for what they believed in. He wasn’t going to let them die in vain.
“Don’t worry. I will be back, for all shall fall.”
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This book has 1 comment.
I think this is a very good story. However, i have a few suggestions. (Please don't take this too hard, i think this story could easily become better and better)
First, it would be better to have more information leading up to the rebellion, more about what she thought about America or something.
Second, i think that a little more detail everywhere would help a little.
Like, how old are they? what do they look like? When they speak, what kind of expressions do they have? For example, when her mother confronts her, she would probably be angry, or mad or something, right?
Or, what about the setting? What does it look like? What does her home look like?
Why does it say her mother would be surprised when tien Ly showed up at the protest? Didn't she already figure out that Tien was the one who made the flyers? And how did the gov't know about the protest?
One of the characters say "jeez" which, i know i'm just being picky but, "jeez" is stylistic of American people, not Korean, so it just seems a little out of place.
It was undoubtedly the best during the protest, but i still think it could be better. Overall, it was good. Good plot, the suspense level is medium, but if you add more details in the beginning, and more insight, you could easily raise the suspense level to high. [figuratively speaking]. I enjoyed this story very much. Good luck.