On the way there I noticed there were trails of my daughters feet and then came men's boots. My heart pounded and pounded as I followed them. Then I came to a bloody scene where my daughter was laying alone on the floor with wounds all over mourning 'that's all I have, I swear it... I swear it!'
"Coralina! No! Somebody! Help, help, please!" people from a house started coming out from a family breakfast asking what was wrong.
"They must have robbed her, do you know how much she had on her? They don't usually get this violent unless you don't have enough for a trout or if you won't give them what you have." The man said.
"She only had one cent! My poor baby! Do something, please!" I screamed while Coralina kept mourning the same thing over and over again.
"I can do nothing for this girl, the best thing you could do is take her to a hospital." He suggested while his daughter and wife calmed Coralina.
"I can help you take her if you wish and my daughter can buy you some water for what they took." His wife offered.
"No, I couldn't take your family's money, please, it's a disgrace."
"They were my sons, okay? I'm so very sorry for practical killing her."

We were carried by a wagon to the hospital, I was interested in what the mother had to say about her sons.
"How many were they?" I asked.
"Sons?" She asked.
"Yes."
"Four."
"Did they want freedom? Not want to be chained up to a house?"
"No, but, we are broke and when they found out they began to rob people for their money, and when I found out all I said is, you do what you want, but don't hurt anyone. They have the worse temperameant, I don't know what happened to them. They are usually gone from late at night to early in the morning and they sleep in the middle of the day to save up energy. They have been angry ever since last Friday, that was the last day we had trout, looks like things got messy."
"I'm broke as well. What about your daughter, does she know you're broke?"
"Word gets around fast in a small town, let alone a family. I'm terrified, because she wants to join her brothers robbing. I don't let here."
"I don't know what to do! How will I pay this medical bill if she makes it out alive?"
"What does your husband do?"
"He whales, no luck for months so far, and he wants to feed us the whales instead of selling them, but I got him to change his mind, he's out in the market right this second selling dolphin meat. What about your husband?"
"Mine? He supports my sons and daughter as long as he doesn't have to work. He has had drinking problems and is slowly recovering, that's how we lost our money. He waisted it on whisky and he used to be a doctor..."
"Why didn't he...?"
"Save your daughter?"
"Yes."
"Because it meant working, working is thinking, thinking is suffering... well, for him at least."

When we got to the hospital they took in Coralina and told us to go home and come back in a week. I didn't know how to respond to that, 'I'm broke' or 'I can't live without my daughter, I'll die.' But I just said, "Okay."

The man that was taking us said that we couldn't ride on his wagon anymore if we had no money to pay him with so we went climbing on top of a house roof to see where we were and I saw my house, we were not too far.

I invited the mother to stay at our house and she accepted because the sun was hiding. She told me her name was Perla.

We sent a short telegram to her husband and a telegram to my husband from a friends telegram and fruit shop. We told my friend we could not pay and he understood.

When we got home I explained everything to my husband, he was surprised and didn't know how to react very well, what he did was invite Perla to dinner.
"I understand what position you two are in, when I accepted to stay I didn't expect to have any impact on your money what's so ever." Perla looked at us worried, she also looked at my other daughter sitting in the rocking chair, knitting.
"Yes, but, you won't starve. We can spare you food that much we can do." My husband said staring at me.
"I can make you a bread loaf," I suggested.
"That's poor men's food!" Eugene shouted from the back.
"No, it's alright... we are poor men after all." Perla calmed.

I got cooking so everyone sat at the table. I looked at my ingredients after I got the loaf of bread out of my way and in the oven, we had the usual potatos.

I cooked potato pot pie. When I finished getting it ready I popped it in the oven and took the cooked bread out and let it sit to cool.

I waited thirty minutes as everyone chatted on the table. Then I took that pot pie out of the oven as well.

Everyone ate today, and no one was in the spot to criticize what they ate. I felt Eugene was being excluded from the story. Perla said I shouldn't trust my daughter with that information, but she would find out sooner or later.
"Darling, honey. My sweet Eugene..." I didn't know how to begin.
"Yes, mother, is there something you and father should have told me this morning?"
"Yes, I'm sorry for not telling you sooner but... we're broke."
"Mother, mother, mother... if there is something you don't know is that I know more than you think." She through me four golden coins on the table.
"Where, did you...?"
"I over heard you and father."
"No, no... Where did you get golden coins?"
"Oh, uh... I, uh, stole them."
"Ugh, okay, but you're a lady, if you're going to steal go to Perla's gang."
"Perla's?"
"Well, her sons'."

She said she'd do it but then Perla argued with me that woman should not steal, then I got her to say okay.

We all sat at the the table, hopelessly except for my daughter Eugene who went outside where Perla's sons were waiting for her mother. I slowly looked to see the young ones already planning out a rob of a lemon stand. I was afraid they might get caught, but in this town you didn't get caught unless you shouted out that you were robbing.
"You know, my son's are crooks, not barbarians. They will welcome her in as long as she's fair." Perla whispered looking at the kitchen table feeling this one line of the wood tracing it with her finger nervously over and over again.
"I know." I whispered back looking at her.

I was worried about Coralina, I wanted to see her. I wanted to know if she would survive until tomorrow, I didn't want her to feel abandoned in the hospital, and I definitely didn't want her to know we were broke.

I rushed around the house closing all the windows with dark fabric so not one ray of light came in.
"Honey, what are you doing?" Auster asked.
"I feel exposed! They'll see us, they'll find us!" I whispered still rushing around.
"No one will catch my son's or you're daughter, darling, um, I didn't catch your name." Perla murmured softly as she stopped the annoying tracing of the wooden table.
"It's Grace." My husband told her annoyed at me.
"It's not that, it's that what if our friends find out? They'll take advantage, pay us less, knowing we won't take the risk of asking for more and loosing their offer." I said looking around trying to find open cracks to fill.
"You're acting like a lunatic, Grace! Our friends would never do that." My husband shouted at me, it was the first time he had ever raised his voice at me, I froze and did not move a muscle.
"You're right," I said looking at the floor, then I stared Perla in the eyes, "You can leave whenever you want, you don't have to tell us. I'm very sorry."

I ran up the stairs to my bedroom with a two person bed, that was usually filled with only one person, and I sat on it and cried. I suddenly realized there was a card with a dollar on the bed that said: Gracie, dear, I may not be here when you are back because I may be at the bay fixing up the ship for my next sail which is in two days. I got the dollar you wanted from the dolphin, that'll last for a day or so.
AUSTER

I ran back downstairs to find only Perla was there, I looked confused and sad.
"Where's...?" I couldn't finish because Perla began to speak.
"He told me to tell you he'd be working on the ship until sundown so he could leave tomorrow." Perla said with an afraid look on her face.
"He didn't let you leave did he?" I asked worried.

She shook her head.
"Damn it!" I murmured under my breath.
"Is this normal?" Perla asked following me out the door as I got my wimple on right and as I gave a warmer tunic to Perla because it was getting colder.
"No, only when he takes his special pills from the market."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't think I had to tell a stranger at that time."
"What about when I told you about my husband?"
"Well, I'm deeply sorry…" I said.

I was thinking how the pills he sometimes took cost him one dollar and I sometimes saw a healthy dolphin sell for two dollars, and the dolphin I saw looked in perfect state, I knew I should've gone to the market instead of him, it was obvious; so obvious I didn't notice.

We got to the bay just to see my husband smoking something, it smelt like his pills. He probably mashed it up in cigarste because swallowing it always looked tough.
"Auster, you're drugged!" I shouted.
"Well, I ain't damn crazy!" He responded.
"You're drugged! You are crazy."
"You dun't know nutin', lady!" He tossed his wedding ring at me and I did the same to him.
"I may be a lunitic, but you are a drug-head!"
"And I'm fine wit' it!"
"Keep out of my house!" shrieked at him.
"Will do, lady! Will do. I'll live in de open seas."

I was crazy; my daughter was a crook, I was broke, my best friend was someone I had just met, my other daughter was probably dead and I had lost my husband.

I decided to go check on my daughter in the hospital but I felt a hand on my shoulder that stopped me, I thought it was going to be Perla asking me where I was going. When I turned I saw the lunatic cart and four men to take me.
"What?" I asked.
"We are here to take you to the lunatic house." The man leading the yellowish, cream-white horse from the cart said.
"May I have time to see my daughter at the hospital, please?" I asked kindly.
"What is her current state at the hospital, madame?"
"I do not know if she's dead or alive, I left her after the accident."
"I'm afraid that only gives us more of a reason to take you, we do not even know if she is living. You must come inside now."
"Perla, go and tell Coralina everything and Eugene as well, PLEASE." I said as they dragged me away.

I felt okay, the only ones I worried for were my daughters. I knew they would feed me, take care of my health and give me shelter. I was quite happy about going to a lunatic house, I guess that made me crazier.
"Don't worry, madame, we'll send money to your children weekly to provide for them." One of the men said looking at my worried face.

Then he looked at my limp arms and legs, "When was the last time you had a real meal?"
"A real meal? Well, years I guess." I claimed.
"When we get you in your room we'll be sure to get you a real meal with a glass of milk."

This turned out great for me. When we stopped I thought we were there, but they took me out and onto a boat. After two horrid hours of travel two tough looking men held me by the arm and through me in the whitest room I had ever seen. They said that if I came back and I hadn't done anything bad they would give me my food and everything would go smoothly.

When they were back they were glad to see I was acting humanly and that my wimple was hanging neatly on the only hook there was. They gave me food and I placed it on the white table (it was a white tray, with a white plate, with white food, with a white cup with milk).

They took my wimple and changed me into a cream white dress; then they told me the drawers were filled with white clothes and they'd be back for my dark clothes.

I lived like that for months, just waiting for someone to come and get me, I received a letter from Eugene and Perla: Eugene had fallen in love with one of Perla's sons and Perla had left her husband after she saw me deal with my husband, she said she couldn't live in her own house anymore, but she was happy in my small comforting home.

I was happy they were fine, but no one ever told me how Coralina was doing. Then I remembered her last words she'd told me. They were whimpers of despair. I began to cry because I missed her, and I wanted to remember her for something better.

The guards came in asking if I was having a break down, I told them that I missed my daughters. They told me I wasn't like my old husband had described me to them.
"Wait, you took me in because my husband told you to?" I asked.
"Yes," They answered, "Why?"
"He was a drug addict. He should have been in jail long ago and I threatened him with that sometimes so he would stop, but I never told any police man of the sort."
"Well, we'll get someone to pick you up as soon as possible."

I felt liberated but at the same time afraid because they wouldn't provide for my family anymore.

I received my clothes after almost a year of seeing nothing but my human colors in the mirror reflection and everything else white. Even though they where different shades of browns and blacks they suddenly held my interest.

I thought I was going to have to wait weeks maybe even months until someone got my telegram, and months even maybe a year for someone to come, but the longer I was here it was actually better.

Only one week passed by for someone to get my telegram. Now I was told I'd have to wait two weeks to get picked up, the night I was going to leave I put my best tunic and skirt on and made sure my wimple was clean. I had come like that and I was fine to stay like that. When I saw who was picking me up I was happy yet disappointed.

I saw Perla and Eugene. I hugged them both crying, happy and sad.
"Where's Coralina?" I got no response "Where's Coralina?!"
"We'll tell you on the way home, Grace, we'll tell you everything..." Perla calmed me, Eugene just stood there smiling crying watching me.

When I sat on a stool on the boat Perla began to talk.
"About Coralina..."
"Is she okay?!"
"Wait! When I told your daughter everything she had a heart attack, the doctors had no choice but to give her a dangerous shot to save her life, they needed papers to show I was her guardian so they could do further treatment, but because you were in the mental hospital they did nothing, she survived, but she cannot talk and every breath she takes is forceful they told me. As you where in the hospital she never got better but never worse, then the doctors told me she froze at the stage where she could not take on further treatment and if I gave them the papers the chances of her surviving the treatment they would keep going with only had a five percent chance of working and the other ninety five percent could kill her."
"I don't get it, is she okay? Why didn't they just kill her to make it better?"
"She will live as long as any human, but she will live without talking, forcefully breathing, on a bed. And I could not get them to kill her medically and legally without any guardian papers like I said."
"But I say she doesn't need that anyways!" Eugene spoke for the first time, "She may be suffering but you know her, mother, a brave soul, she wants to live. She writes to me how she feels every night at midnight when the next day is about to start. She always says she can't wait to see the next day, to see you, mother!"
"Now that I've returned we can all say goodbye to her and I will sign for her life release." I eased her.
"You would not! You return to kill your daughter? Is that what you want her to think of you?" She croaked.
"No, but she will be happier."
"How do you know? She can live until she says she doesn't want to, she can stop her own breathing at night while we're sleeping, she controls her breaths now, not us."
"You think it is like that, don't you?"
"Yes, because it is."
"No, she must not make every life decision, do you know where she would be now if she chose her own life patterns?"
"Yes." Eugene said firmly as Perla stayed as quiet as possible.
"Where, my Eugene, where?"
"Not suffering because you chose to make her go to the well to get water because we could not go to another well because you chose a husband that made us go broke..."

I was quiet.
"Quit trying to choose for us, mother, you make our life worse." She stuttered off into the other lounge room probably to rest her head there.

I felt horrible and after thinking for a while, I figured she was right.
"She's right," I murmured.
"I do not know, ask Carolina herself."
"She cannot talk, Perla. I think you know that..." I stuttered off.
"But in her papers, she'll surely mention it. But may I say she has a special way of saying things."

We stopped talking and we felt the boat stop as well. We got off and I remembered home, the fishy aroma, the screams of the bakers shouting offers for the people walking by. I only wanted to get home and see Coralina.

I ran as fast as I could and four boys scared the living Hell out of me jumping in front of my face, then I realized they were Perla's sons.
"Welcome back," One boy especially handsome told me.
"Thank you," I said.
"I wasn't talking to ya, I was talking to Eugene." He said.

Eugene hugged him and I almost gagged. But I did cough because I didn't approve of him.
"Mother, I forgot to tell you that we got married." Eugene said with a smile.
"Without my approval? You got married?.." I paused, "Fine, you're old enough to make your own decisions."
"Really mother? Thank you."
"Now that your responsible for yourself you should move out as soon as you find a home large enough for you, your husband, your husbands brothers and the future children." I scolded at them, "In fact I saw a poor Old Foaks House on main street go bankrupt and now they're selling that large house for seventeen dollars."
"Mother! Where on earth will I find seventeen dollars?"
"I don't know, but you know your limits now that you are wedded, I imagine. And I won't be feeding you anymore now that your independent."
"Alright."

When I got to my home I ran upstairs and found Coralina laying on the bed looking half dead already.
"Oh, honey! Baby, are you okay? I love you so much and I'm not crazy, I swear!"

She breathed out 'I know.'
"Shh... Don't hurt yourself. Answer to me on this sheet of paper with one word if you want me to take you to the hospital to kill you."

She took the pen with her shaking hand and wrote in large and clear letters 'NO.' I was not to bother her more about that subject.
"Well, well, well mother, I shall go find out about the house on main street." Eugene said.
"Yes, and go get a job please. Your presence is bothersome." I told her.
"Huh, when you get older you'll have to take care of Coralina and yourself because I'll be all the way at the glamorous main street."
"Darling, get a job first."

She left, I knew she wouldn't have the courage to come back. But this is how we did things centuries after centuries, you have two children one leaves one stays. I, to say, was kicked out.

It was amazing how bonds broke in moments and bonds grew in years. I felt glad that she got she got a new home, in fact. But one way or another she'd have to leave.
"We aren't ready to do this, Grace." John, the son getting married to my daughter said.
"Then you weren't ready to wed either." I said.
"Yes, but we didn't expect such a command from you."

He left with his brother off to who knows what. I was left with Perla.
"I feel of a burden, shall I leave?" Perla asked.
"No, please."
"Okay, well, I must say you did the correct thing. If they wedded they should take responsibility and we should not be feeding extra mouths."
"Get me a maid."
"What? Are you, are you crazy? We're broke and you want a maid?"
"It doesn't have to be a good one, just to do some work around the house everyday."
"What you want is your daughter... but, anyways, how do you plan on paying her?"
"With food and shelter."
"Fine, I will go find one."

I was finally alone with Coralina, I planned on killing her.
"Listen, honey, before she gets back. I have all your trust in my hands and I plan to use it because–"
"No..." Carolina breathed.
"I know you want to die, it is what you want."
"No..." She breathed again with pain in her eyes.
"Please, I know what you want, you have no idea–"
"No..." Then there was a hand movement, I gave her a pen and paper.
She wrote down:

Mother, I missed you, but I feel you want to discard of me. I wish not to die, and live as long as I can until age kills me. I feel I am dragging you lower and you want to rid of me. I may not be able to move or talk but I have a talent and it can serve you to get money.
"I don't want to discard of you, but I don't want you to suffer, and what's that talent of yours?"

She turned the page and put: I write great poems.
"Well, write as many as your frail body can manage, I will spread the news."

I came back with a group of people who paid to listen to the poems. Then Perla came back after everyone left with a young pretty looking lady.
"I'm here to get the maid job." The girl said.
"Good, out of what I see these days, I can pay you eighty five cents a week." I said.
"Well, I would say we have money problems here..." She sighed.
"You should probably just start to work and leave us alone." I told her.

I looked at Perla with deep thought.
"Yes?" She asked.
"How on earth did you find us such a stupid maid?" I asked as we laughed.
"Well, she was the only one on the streets looking for a job, and if you look past the attitude she is a person with potential."
"Alright, but she just needs to know how to clean and take care of someone."
"So, you are not looking for a maid, you looking for a watch dog to take care of your jewl."
"What jewl?"
"Coralina." There was a great long pause, "Coralina is as strong as she says she is, but she will die, you know that..."
"I..."
"You know that, right?"
"Yes, but the doctor..."
"He only said that to make us feel comforted. She will not live nearly as long as we will."
"I know." I sighed, "I know, but right now, our hopes must stay high, because, she is the only thing keeping us alive."

I was saddened by the thought of her passing away. I went to fetch the maid a glass of tap water.
"Hello." I said to her.
"Thank you." She turned away back to cleaning with sad and lonely eyes.
"Are you alright?" I asked her.
"Huh? Oh, what does it matter?" Maids and there owners were not supposed to talk often, unless it was for getting angry at the maid.
"I think it matters, and I think I have a good job for you, instead of cleaning my house I'll pay you for being with my daughter upstairs while I do what I must, which is clean."
"Not to offend you, Mistress, but, you did not exactly call apon me for that..." She was still cleaning with her back towards me.
"I know, but, you look lonely and sad. She will bring joy to you, I promise you that."
"Alright, Mistress." She sighed and went upstairs.

I went with Perla and she was looking about for food, I told her she would not find any here so I gave her two cents and told her to go buy almonds and walnuts.

I took my egg basket and left to the chicken coop, I noticed it rained so I ran quickly inside the coop and took all the eggs I found. One of the chickens was sick and had not layed a single egg so I grabbed it by the throat and outside, with an axe, broke its neck to eat it.

When I was inside I got cooking the chicken in the fire. Perla got back with a few walnuts and almonds. I told her to watch the chicken while I went upstairs.

When I got up I saw the maid smiling and my daughter smiling, they looked about the same age.
"I was telling her this joke about a man that thought he could fly in a machine one day." She said giggling.

I laughed along and told her that there was chicken downstairs to eat.
"I should stay with your daughter."
"You can eat here if you would like, as long as you feed Coralina."
"Okay."

I went downstairs and ate, when I finished I told Perla I would go alone to the bay to wash up the dishes, she said she could come with me but I told her I would rather be alone and that they should not wait for me at night because I would be late.

When I got to the bay I got down on my knees and cried, I cried and cried as I washed the dishes, remembering of life, life before anything happened.

I looked up to see our boat, it was no longer there, instead I saw miles of empty waters. I took off my wimple and tunic to be left with my summer dress, the winds of winter guided me into the ocean.

Some people looked at me in disbelief and I did not care. I knew soon enough I would die of hunger, and what I did not tell anyone was that I poisoned our food. The chicken we ate had snake venom, Coralina would die, as would Perla but I let the maid live. I even poisoned my food. When we fell asleep we would die so I would fall asleep on the beach and peacefully die, like I promised my husband we would.

So I got out of the water and onto the shore until sun down, where I lay on the floor staring at the ocean and the sun until I fell deep asleep...