"Ry? Honey?" I hear my father's raspy voice on the other of my door while he knocked.

"Come in..." I answer, sitting up a bit in my bed.

He walks in, closing the door behind him gently.

That's how everyone was now, gentle: as if I was a young child, not someone who was going to turn seventeen in a few short months. But then again I guess if you act like a child, you get treated like one.

I watch as my father walked through my room, pulling out my computer chair and facing it towards my bed. It had been forever since I had really looked at him. He looks older now, much more tired. He was staring to grow some stubble on his chin and had some speckles of silver hair mixed with the black. I remember when I was a child he used to be tall and muscular, but now he was growing quite the beer belly. He didn't look as young as he once did, but I guess having me for a daughter made you age pretty quickly.

"What's up?" I ask as he sat across from me.

He takes a deep breath, looking down. "We need to talk..." he mumbles, his eyes slowly moving up.

I knew this was going to come sooner or later. Now I would have to answer all the questions they were asking.

I didn't know what to say so I just nod.

"I know you don't want to talk about what happened, trust me, I don't either. Talking about it will only bring me to tears and between the two of us, I've done enough crying this week to last me a lifetime." He chuckles, obviously trying to make light of the situation at hand. "So we're not going to talk about it. We're just going to talk about what happens now. We know it must be hard, being here, being around whatever made you want to do what you did." He pauses, taking in a deep breath. "We thought it might be best for you to get away from it all.

"So we spoke to your Aunt Josie, she said if you'd like you could come stay with her for a while to take your mind off of it all and get away from everything. You don't have to if you don't want to." He reassures me. "I don't want you to go, but it might be for the best." He whispers, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

Images of my Aunt Josie fills my mind. She was my father's younger sister, when I say younger, I mean much younger. She was closer to my age than my father's. He was nineteen when she was born, making her only six years older than I. My grandparents had her when they were nearly fifty; she was what they called 'their pleasant surprise.'

We didn't see her very much, considering she was always with a new guy. She had a taste for older men, especially the ones with money. How else do you think she afforded beauty school and her expensive life style? Of course she could pull it off, she was beautiful. She had long wavy brown hair that fell to the middle of her back and piercing brown eyes. I had always looked up to her. I mean, who wouldn't?

I look to my father as tears rolled down his cheek, seeing the sadness in his eyes hurt me more than I could ever imagine. I didn't think this would hurt him so much.

I sigh softly, my eyes falling down to my lap. "You're right; it would be for the best." I mumble, fidgeting with my fingers. "When would I leave?"

"Josie said that she can get you a plane ticket as soon as tomorrow evening. If she does that you might be able to make it to school there on Monday." He sighs, his eyes watching me carefully. "You don't have to go though." he reassures me.

I shake my head, taking a deep breath. "I need to go, dad, I need to get away." I mumble.

"I just want you to be happy, remember that please." He begs. "I only want to give you your best chance."

"I know, dad." I whisper, looking up at him. "Tell her to go ahead and order the ticket." I mumbled.

He nods as he stands, up walking to the door. He stops in his tracks turning to me. "I love you, bug." He whispers, walking out of my room before I could even tell him that I loved him too.

*****

"Ry, wake up?" I hear my brother's soft voice as he shook my shoulders, pulling me out of my deep sleep.

"What?" I mumble, rubbing my eyes a bit as I sit up in my bed. My eyes roamed over to the clock, it was barely past one am. "What's wrong?" I ask looking back at him.

"I had a nightmare, can I sleep with you?" He asks already crawling into my bed, making himself comfortable. He didn't even wait for an answer, he just did it. Not like he would take no for an answer anyway.

"Yeah, just don't hug the covers." I reply, lying back down.

Sammy scoots closer to me, lifting up my arm and wrapping it around himself as he cuddles up next to me.

I smile to myself as his curly blonde hair glistened in the moonlight. Moments like these were what I lived for; they made me forget about everything that was going on in my life; no matter how s***ty it was.

"What was your nightmare about?" I ask softly, breaking the silence as he adjusts himself, getting comfortable.

"You tried to leave me again." He whispers softly, his eyes fluttering close.

I squeeze my eyes shut, hearing his words broke my heart. That's not what I wanted. I never wanted to leave my Sammy; it was everyone else I wanted to leave. Sammy was my happiness, my world. If it wasn't for him I probably would've done what I did a lot sooner. He kept me sane.

"I'm so sorry..." I whisper, tears clouding my eyes. I knew sorry wouldn't make up for what I had done; I don't think anything would've.

*****

I wake up early in the morning, my arms still around Sammy as he slept his head on my stomach. I look at him, taking a deep breath.

This would be the last time for a while that I would wake up beside him. The last time I would see his blond hair glistening in the sunlight. I would miss spending every free moment with him. I would miss him.

I want to spend my whole morning like this, but I had to get up and finish getting ready to leave to Oregon. I wasn't ready for this change; then again I don't think anyone is ever ready for anything. I pick up Sammy's, slowly removing it from my body as I sit up in my bed. I didn't want to ruin his slumber just because I was getting up. I wanted to see him sleep a little longer, who knew the next time that I would be able to see this sight again.

I carefully throw my legs over the edge of the bed, trying my hardest not to create too much movement as I stood and walked to the door.

I sigh softly, walking out and down the stairs. I walk into the kitchen to see my stepmother, Leah, sitting down at the dining room table, a cup of coffee in her hand and a stack of papers in front of her.

I hadn't spoken to her since I had gotten out of the hospital. I was scared now that the two of us were in the same room now, alone.

Leah and my father gotten together when I was still learning to walk and talk.

My mother had left basically right after I popped out of her. She was barely twenty when I was born. She didn't want to be a mother, she was 'too young, too beautiful, to raise a brat' was what she had told my father the day she packed her bags and left us.

My father met Leah shortly after. My father met her at the bar; she walked in a pair of jeans and Metallica shirt. My father said it was love at first sight when he saw her. He says that he turned to the bartender, saying, and I quote 'I want to buy that a drink.'

After a few beers, and a couple of dates, my father had finally brought her home to meet me. I was barely nine months when it happened. My father claimed that the moment Leah saw me, she was in love. From that day on she accepted me as hers, raised me as her own. She was more of a mom to me than the one who carried me for nine months.

I knew that I had probably affected her more than anyone. Shortly after Leah and my father got married, they found out that she would have a hard time carrying a child. That broke her heart, she had always wanted tons of children, I knew that. Since she could have none of her own, she spoiled me until I was twelve. That was when she found out at she was pregnant with Sammy. She had been pregnant a few times before, but they had all ended in miscarriages. Each one, breaking her heart a little more than the one before. This was the longest that she had been able to carry a baby.

She was ecstatic. A baby of her own was all she wanted. From that moment, she had begun shopping for baby stuff, planning for him to come: all that good stuff.

I had to admit I was jealous, of course I was. I had been the baby my whole life, I wasn't ready for that to change.

Me being the spoiled brat I was, spoke nothing of the baby, always leaving the room when it came up, not wanting to be a part of the talk of my new replacement. My father quickly caught to my disappearances and quietness when the baby was brought up. I was hesitant to tell him about not wanting to lose my place as the baby, but I ended opening up to him anyway. I always had, I didn't stop up to a few months ago.

I had cried to my father about not wanting the baby around. He tried to reassure me, telling me I would always be his little girl. He had told me that their love for me would never change. I knew that was a lie, Leah would love the baby more. It would be Leah's own child, unlike me who was just someone she had to take care of. After my father tried to tell me that it wasn't true multiple times, he left. A few hours later, Leah came in. She didn't say anything as she sat down on my bed, pulling her to me. We were both quiet as I began to cry into her chest, I didn't want moments like this to end. She was my mom too and I wasn't ready to lose her to someone new.

She held me for felt like hours until I had fallen asleep. It was that moment I knew that nothing between us would change; she would always be my mom too, no matter what.

I watch as she flipped through papers, writing on each one with her red pen.

Without bothering to look up to me she says, "I know you're there, Ry, you don't have to linger in the hallway." She sighs.

I bite my lip, sucking it up and walk to the table to sit across from her.

"I'm sorry, mom..." I whisper, looking down at my lap as I fumbled with my fingers.

She looks up at me with sad eyes. "I know you are..." she mumbles, dropping her pen and reaching over to take my hand, giving it a tight squeeze, "I'm sorry I didn't talk to you. It was just too hard for me; you're my daughter, Ry. I didn't think I could handle it." She whispers.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, I just wanted to stop hurting... it was selfish of me." I mumble, looking up at her.

She shakes her head, still holding my hand. "You should never feel selfish for wanting the pain to go away..." she says, letting go of my hand as she reaches for me.

I practically collapse into her arms. I always felt safe with her arms around me, it felt like home. With her arms around me, I can't even remember why I wanted to leave this place.

*Flashback*

I laughed as I threw my arms around Shane's neck. "Baby, you're late." I slurred in a whine, looking up at his plump pink lips as I licked my own.

"Sorry, love, got caught up with the parents." He said as he placed his hands on my hips, pulling all of my body to him.

He smirked down at my lips before leaning down to place his own on them.

I always loved the taste of his lips. They tasted of sweat, weed, and beer.

My favorite.

I pressed my bikini clad chest to his, wanting to feel all of him, not caring who was looking. I just wanted him.

He chuckled against my lips, pulling away. "Don't want to get me turned on too much do we now? You'd have to take care of it for me..." he whispered, his hot breath hitting my face.

I took in a deep breath, my eyes still closed as I inhaled his scent.

He pulled back, unwrapping my arms from around his neck.

"I'm going to get us some drinks. Smirnoff?" He asked, a smirk played on his lips.

He knew me so well.

I nodded and stood on my toes, giving him one last loving kiss before he walked off.

He was beautiful with his light brown buzz cut and honey colored eyes. He was too tall for his age, his voice sounding like a much older man, not someone who had just turned seventeen.

He was the one. I knew it.

I jumped, feeling a pair of arms wrapping around me from behind.

"Ry!" My best friend, Jocelyn, slurred in my ear. "I love you so much." She whispered, putting all of her weight on me as she swayed are bodies to the beat of the music. "So, so much."

I unwrapped her arms from my body and turned around to face her. "I think you're drunk." I laughed.

She shook her head, pouting her bottom lip. "I'm not drunk; I just want to love my best friend." She says puckering her lips and leaning her face towards me.

I crinkled my nose in disgust.

I was drunk, but not drunk enough for that s**t.

Jesus.

I quickly pressed my hands to her wet lips as I pushed her face away. "Yeah, you're drunk. Where's Jace?" I asked, helping her stand up straight.

"Flirting with some hoe." She grumbled and grabbed a random beer off of a nearby patio table and quickly chugged it most of it.

"That's gross, Jocelyn, I hope you don't get herpes.'' I said making a face of disgust.

"Jace probably already gave them to me." She shrugged before chugging down the rest of the bottle. "He's such a man****e; now tell me what do I see in him?" She asked.

"You keep telling me he has a big d***, so that's probably it? I mean I don't see it, he's skinny and short as hell. " I smirked, putting my finger to my chin as if I'm thinking.

"Oh yeah, that's why." She laughed. "And don't make fun of him, he's my baby." She pouted her bottom lip out and gave me her sad eyes.

I rolled my eyes and looked around for Shane, hoping he would be here soon. I missed him.

Damn. Drunk me was clingy as hell.

"You're lucky to have Shane, you know that? He doesn't flirt with other girls." She sighed dreamily.

I rolled my eyes; this was an ongoing argument between her and I. It was always about how lucky I was to have Shane and how big of a jerk Jace was to her.

Jace and Jocelynn loved each other, they just wouldn't own up to it.

I looked over her shoulder to see Shane walking out of the house towards the two of us, two beers in his hand.

God. He was perfect.

"Hello, ladies..." he smirked, walking over to us.

"Hey, handsome, took you long enough." I smiled, licking my lips as he handed me the beer.

He chuckled as he walked to my side, wrapping his arms around my body and pulled me as to him as I could get.

He leaned down, pressing his lips to my temple.

I kept up a conversation with Jocelyn for a few minutes, until she stumbled off to find Jace, saying 'She was going to hop on that d*** before some other hoe could.'

Classic Jocelyn.

"You want to go inside, have a little alone time?" He whispered lowly, letting out a chuckle.

I finished off my beer before replying, "Yeah, let's go." I whispered as I looked up at him.

He smirked as he led me through the crowd of dancing, drunk people, his hand never leaving my side.

He walked me up into the house and up the stairs. He checked each room, looking for a vacant one. Of course the last one we checked was the vacant one.

The moment we were alone in the dark room, his lips were upon mine.

"I need you, Ry..." he said against my lips in a husky tone.

His hands trailed up and down my sides as he pushed me to the bed. He reached behind my back, tugging at the drawstring of my bikini. His soft plump lips trailed down my neck, biting here and there.

I wanted him so much and I knew he wanted me, but this couldn't happen.

Not here.

Not Now.

"Shane... Stop, I can't do this." I whispered, pressing my hands to his chest as I tried to push him off of me.

He wouldn't stop though, just continued to kiss and grope my boobs.

"Shane, I said stop." I said louder this time as I still tried to push him off of me.

He groaned against my neck before sitting up. "F***ing Christ! Why can't we just have sex one f***ing time, Ry? Every time we get close you're always whining and pushing me off of you. I have f***ing needs, damn it!" He said, his voice filled with anger.

I looked away, blinking away the tears. "I'm sorry, Shane..." I whispered, I meant it, but that didn't mean I would sleep with him just yet.

I wasn't emotionally ready for sex, he knew that. I told him every time he would try, but he just angrier each time.

"No you're not; if you were truly sorry you would sleep with." He scoffs, looking at me. "You know, lots of girls offer to sleep with me, but I always tell them no. You know why? Because I love you. Don't you love me too?" he said and let out a sigh.

Of course he would pull the 'I love you' card. F***ing a**hole.

I shook my head and wiped the tears. "I do love you." I said and started to get off of the bed. "I just can't sleep with you."

Once I was able to stand on both feet, his hand was tightly around my wrist as he pulled me down towards the bed with him.

"Bul****t, Rylynn." He said between gritted teeth as he grabbed my waist, pushing all of my body down onto the bed. "You don't get to tease me for a whole year and say you won't have sex with me." He hisses, hovering over me.

"Shane? What are you doing?" I asked as I tried to sit back up, but he only pushed me back down.

"Taking what's mine."
 

I roll my carry-on across the carpeted floor of the airport as I walk towards my gate, trying to pull myself together. I had left my family at the entrance of the airport; I couldn't handle a heartfelt goodbye. It would be too much for me, I was already emotionally unstable enough after my talk with Leah earlier this morning. But I felt as if leaving them there only made me sadder than I was before.

I miss them already.

I look down at my ticket, remembering the gate number. Why the hell were there so many god damn gates? Then again, I am from the lovely Las Vegas; everyone either wanted to be here or get the hell away from here. There was no in between with this hellhole.

If you haven't guessed yet, I'm one of the people who want to get the hell away from here. Ironic, huh? I'm from the place where almost everyone wants to be and I couldn't wait to leave.

I groan to myself as I came to the realization that the last gate I would get to; would be mine.

Of f***ing course.

It takes me a whole half hour to find my gate; giving me barely five minutes before my plane would board. Perfect timing.

I look around for a seat, but they were all full. Each one taken either by a little kid with sticky fingers, an old fat man/women wearing an 'I love LV' shirt, or some other pathetic person. So in result I was left to stand, didn't bother me much considering I would be sitting down for about two hours in ten minutes.

I wait until I hear a soft flight attendant's voice announcing the boarding of my plane to walk to the gate. I hand the petite, smiley flight attendant all of my papers before walking on to the plane.

It takes me a few minutes to find my seat and load my carry-on in the locker above my seat. Once I'm done, I sit down in my seat to only figure out that a teen mother and a small infant were placed next to me. I pray to god that they are at least quiet.

"Hi, I'm Amy." The teen mom says to me.

Great. She's a talker.

"Rylynn..." I mumble, rather rudely.

She obviously got the hint that I didn't want to talk and didn't say anything to me as she adjusted the baby's seat.

Honestly, I didn't know why I was being so irritable. It could've been the realization that I was finally leaving Las Vegas or it could be the fact that I was leaving my family. Maybe even both.

Or it could've been me getting my period. Who knows?

*****

I hold on tightly to the armrest as the plane landed, my knuckles turning white.

Trust me, I love to fly. It's just the landing and takeoff that scare the living sh** out of me. That's normal right?

I wait until almost everyone is out of their seat before getting out of mine.

Since I had weak arms it took me a minute or two to get my carryon out of the overhead locker. Once it was down, I quickly roll it through the aisle and off of the plane.

I can't remember where Josie had told me where to meet her and I have never been to this airport before, so I would probably get lost. No surprise there, I was always getting lost one way or another.

I walk down aisle after taking my carry on out of the locker. I sigh to myself as I walk off the plane.

I am now an official Oregon resident.

I walk around for a few minutes looking for Josie. It had been a little over two years since the last time I had seen her.

It was the summer before my freshman year: she had flown down for my grandmother's funeral. Josie being Josie obviously had brought her new piece of man candy with her. Which my whole family thought was rude considering that my grandmother had never met the damn man. But Josie claimed that he was the one.
 

This wasn't the first time she had said that.

The man had been older than my father and wore a nice suit with a Rolex watch, he spoke using intelligent words, to which my father and I had later mocked after they had left.

The guy was nice enough I guess, but something about him was off. As far as I know, they broke it off a few a months later. I never found out why, my father had never told me.

I follow the group of people down to baggage claim, hoping that's where Josie had said to meet her. I wait beside the swarm of people as they all pick up their luggage from the rotating thing.

I had never learned the official name for that thing. Oh well.

It takes me awhile to find my two large bags. I don't fully understand why I needed three bags when I barely even wore any of the clothes that were packed inside of them. But Leah had insisted that I bring them all, saying "Who knows, maybe your style will change while you're there."

Ha. My style hasn't changed in the past two and a half years; it changing now would be highly unlikely.

Once I find all of my bags, I look around for Josie. It only took a few seconds to see her, well not necessarily see her, more like hear her. You could hear her giggle miles away. It was that loud, well more high pitched than loud. It reminded me of the fake school girls in porno films.

I watch for a moment as she flirts with the older man, touching his arm.

Yuck. She was an arm toucher, probably one of the worse kinds of flirters.

I pray to God that the man wasn't her guy of the week. My father hadn't said anything of a boyfriend when we spoke of my coming to Oregon.

I sigh and try to roll all three of my bags towards her when she finally spots me.

"Ry!" She yells in a bubbly tone and walks to my quickly in her high, high heels.

How the hell can women walk in those bloody things? That will always be a mystery to me.

Once she reaches me she wraps her arms around me, pulling me to her.

I hug her back, my hands releasing my bags; making them fall down to the ground.

"You've grown so much." She says, pulling back but keeping her hands on my shoulders. "God, you look so much like your father. You're so beautiful." She says looking me over, her hand reaching up to caress my cheek.

I blush softly to myself and look to where she once was, looking for her man candy. He was gone now, which obviously meant that he wasn't her boyfriend.

Praise the good lord Jesus.

"Oh your roots need a touch up..." she says softly, looking at my black roots that were blending in with my faded cherry red hair.

Of course that was one of the first things she had noticed. Her hairstylist was poking out.

"We'll fix that up before you start school tomorrow, okay?" She smiles.

I nod softly, still not saying anything to her as she guides me out of the busy airport.

*****

I lie down on my new bed. And when I say new; I mean brand f***ing new. Josie had bought this bed for me the day she found that I would be coming. This was only just yesterday.

I had never had a brand new bed; the ones I owned were either passed down from Leah and my dad or bought off of Craigslist.

It was nice having something new and to myself.

The bed was soft, inviting. I love everything about it.

I look around the room; the walls were blank except for the gray paint. I would have to hang up a few posters or something to spice it up a bit. There wasn't much in the room: a desk, a bed, and a bookshelf.

Everything I needed.

I close my eyes replaying everything that had happened today.

I had finally gotten away from the toxic Las Vegas.

I was proud of that. It was needed.

Even though I didn't act like it, I was happy to be with Josie. Her bubbly personality made everything easier. I could relax around her; it was almost like her happiness rubbed off on to the people around her.

Maybe that's why guys were so attracted to her so much.

Sometimes so much that they left their wives for her.

After Josie had picked me up from the airport we had gone for sushi.

And when I say sushi I'm not talking about the stuff you buy from Smith's or 7-Eleven. I'm talking about the expensive s*** that the make right in front of you at the restaurant.

Now that is some classy s*** if I do say so myself.

I always loved sushi, but now that I've had the real s***, there was no way in hell that I was going back to the Smith's crap.

I could feel myself already adjusting to the lifestyle that Josie had offered me. I'm still trying to figure out if that was a good or bad thing.

She had talked most of dinner. She told me about the school I would be attending, about how her salon was going, and about how excited she was to be with someone close to her age.

I mean, she could always be with someone her age. But I couldn't tell her that when she just spent over a hundred dollars on a couple pieces of fish for me.

That would just be plain rude.

As crappy as I had been feeling these past few months, today was probably the best day I'd had in a long, long time.

I sigh to myself as I look at the clock on my phone, it was almost eleven pm; tomorrow was my first day at my new school and I couldn't even sleep. I always had problems sleeping, but this was just going to f*** everything up for me tomorrow.

I was already scared s***less. I didn't need to be walking in there with bags under my eyes and all droopy eyed, it would be hard enough without all of that.

I was scared to be around a whole new environment for the first time; I had gone to school with the same people since first grade. I wasn't sure if I was ready to meet new people. Actually I knew that I wasn't ready to meet people.

What if they don't like me? What if they dress differently than they do in Las Vegas?

Alright, that's enough. I sound like a whiny preteen.

But what if, though? Anything is possible...

I pull my hair into a tight, high ponytail, looking it the mirror as I smile to myself.

Last night before I had gone to bed, Josie had dyed my hair back to black, it looks much better than the faded red. I had missed my black hair.

I guess you could say I was back in black… I' so clever sometimes, I swear.

I pull my favorite shirt over my head. It was a Peter Pan shirt, with the phrase ‘Never grow up.’ When I had first gotten it, I had ripped off the sleeves, turning it into a muscle shirt. I’ve always had a weird obsession with him for some odd reason. I mean have you seen the boy? Hot damn.

Now that I think about it, saying a thirteen year old boy is hot when I am sixteen kind of makes me a pedophile. Opps.

“Rylynn!” Josie calls from downstairs. “You ready?” She asks.

I don’t bother replying as I grab my backpack, running down the stairs.

Josie looks me over once I’m down the stairs. “Why don’t you wear your hair down? It suits your face best. Plus I spent a long time on it…” she says reaching behind me as she wraps a few locks around her finger.

I sigh softly, pulling my thick hair out of the hair tie. I look at her as I run my fingers through my hair, untangling it.

Who was I to argue with her? She was the hair stylist here, not me.

She smiles at me before grabbing her purse off of the table beside the door. “You should probably grab a jacket; it can get pretty chilly here.” She says.

I bit my lip looking at her. “I-I don’t have a jacket…” I mumble.

“What do you mean you don’t have a jacket?” she asks a look of confusion on her face.

“I’m from Vegas; it doesn’t really get too cold down there. And when it does, a cardigan usually does the trick.” I shrug.

She looks at me for a moment before walking past me to walk back up the stairs towards her room. She returns a few moments later with a mid-waisted leather jacket.

“Here,” she says handing it to me. “It’ll go with your whole punk rock look.” She says, motioning her hand towards my outfit. “We’ll go shopping after school today. Get you some warmer clothes and some new shoes too.” She says looking down at my feet.

I looked down at my ripped skinny jeans and beat up Converse. I didn’t think I looked punk rock…I just looked like me.

And how dare she insult my converse? They were my babies.

I shrug before slipping on the jacket before. I take a deep
breath before following her outside.
So it begins…

*****

I look down at my schedule, trying to figure out where the hell room 407 was. It was only third period and I was already lost.

No surprise there.

I look up, my eyes looking for a friendly face that might be willing to help me find my class, when a hand reached from behind me and snatches my schedule out of my
hand.

“Hey, new girl, where ya heading?’’ asks the schedule snatcher. “Oh, AP English, ah you’re a smart cookie.” She says a smirk playing on her lips, not even bothering to let me answer her question.

“Guess so…” I shrug, not knowing what to say.

I look at the girl, my eyes examining her. She was strikingly beautiful with her shoulder length light brown hair and piercing cornflower eyes.

She looks at me for a moment
with her pierced eyebrow raised before saying, “I’m Aubrey Black.” She smiles.

“Rylynn Crane.” I say letting out a forced smile.

She let out a soft laugh. “Yeah, I know. It says it on here.” She smiles, rising up the schedule a bit. “You’ll find AP English, right down that hall. It’s kind of hidden, that’s probably why you couldn’t find it.” She says, pointing towards a hallway, one that happened to be in the exact opposite direction I was heading. She hands me back my schedule before running off to her own class.

I sigh softly to myself before following her directions. And sure enough, there it was just like she had said; hidden.

I watch for a moment as a few kids pile into the classroom. I close my eyes, taking a deep breath before following them in.

“You must be Rylynn.” A perky red haired woman says with a wide smile.

I’m assuming that she is Mrs. Reed.

“Uh, yeah.” I mumble to her, handing her my schedule so she could sign it off.

She scribbles her name quickly before looking up at the classroom, her eyes squinting a bit. “Ah, Rylynn, you can go sit in the back with Tori.” She says and points to a blonde girl in the back who in my opinion is wearing way too much eyeliner.

I give Mrs. Reed a soft smile before walking back towards Tori.

I look Tori over in her seat as she starts to bend over the desk to talk to some guy in front of her. She pushes her arms closer together on both sides of her breasts, trying to show as much cleavage as possible. But, honestly it wasn’t working out so well for her, she was practically flat chested.

The guy she was talking to doesn’t seem very interested as he tries to turn back around in his seat, but she’s being quite persistent. She keeps touching his arm or says something to keep him from facing forward in his seat.

I felt sorry for this guy, but then again I was going to be the one sitting beside her. I guess we both lose.

I take a deep breath and walk the rest of the way to the desk, sitting beside her.

The moment I sit down, she looks at me and gives me a look of disgust.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she asks, scrunching up her nose.

“Mrs. Reed told me to sit here.” I stutter.

“Awe, do you always do what teachers tell you to do?” she coos, smirking. “I bet you’re a teacher’s pet, huh?’’ she chuckles.

I look at her, awe-struck. It was only my first day and barely third period, but I was already getting picked on.

Before I could say anything in response the boy she had been talking to earlier turns back around in his seat, saying “Tori, stop being a bitch.” He rolls his eyes.

I hadn’t been able to get a good look of him before I sat down, but let me say that that motherf*er is handsome as sh**.

“Damen, let the new girl talk for herself, she’s a big girl.” She says, turning to look at me again. She looks me over. “A very big girl.” She says, poking at my weight.

Her saying that doesn’t really bother me though, I wasn’t fat; I knew that. I just had more meat on my bones than most of the skinny girls. I was happy in my skin.

“At least I have tits.” I mumble, looking down at the desk.

I hear the guy, who I am assuming is Damen, let out a soft chuckle, obviously hearing me.

“Did you say something?” she asks, staring down at me.

I look back up at her, hoping that she really didn’t hear me.

I look towards her eyes, cringing. Not only did she have on way too much eyeliner, but had way too much of mascara as well; giving her the spider leg effect.

Ewe.

“I just said that I love your make up.” I say, batting my eyelashes innocently.

I hear him choke back a
laugh at that one.

“That’s what I thought.” She says, flipping her thin blonde hair over her shoulder.

I bite my lip, trying my hardest not to laugh as the bell rings and Mrs. Reed starts her lecture.

Throughout class I can feel Damen’s eyes on me. I don’t look back once, but once the bell rings I race out of the classroom; hoping that I could find the cafeteria on my own without getting lost or bumping into Tori again.

Growing up; I was always told that I was beautiful, but now that I'm looking in the bathroom mirror at school; I don't see it.



My eyes were too dark to be beautiful, my skin paler than the moon, a nose too small to be considered cute, my lips thinner than paper. I wasn't beautiful, I see that now. I was never beautiful. I always wondered if my family just told me I was to make me feel better. Or maybe I once was and beauty had just gone away, just like my happiness...



I close my eyes, inhaling deeply before opening them back up to look at myself. I just need to get through lunch and three more classes. I'm strong enough to do that. I know I am.



I take another deep breath to collect myself before turning around on my heels to walk out of the bathroom. I keep my head down hoping to avoid eye contact with anyone, but doing this resulted in me doing something much worse.



Bumping into someone else.



That was just my luck.

"Sorry..." I mumble.

I keep my head down, too embarrassed to look up from the ground. I just hoped that the person was at least kind.

I gulp deeply before continuing.

"Rylynn?" I hear from a somewhat familiar voice.



I raise my head before turning around to see who the voice had belonged to.



It was Aubrey.



I let out a sigh of relief; happy that it was at least someone friendly.

"Hey." I say, giving her a soft smile.

"You should watch where you're going." She smirks, "Wouldn't want to bump into the wrong person." She says walking to the sink where I stood only a few minutes ago.

"Noted." I nod softly, before turning back around on my heels to continue walking out.

"Hey, where are you going?" she pouts, hurt hidden in her voice.

"I-I don't even know..." I shrug, letting out an awkward chuckle.

"You can come sit with me; just let me wash my hands." She says, turning on the water and filling her hand up with soap.



A little too much soap... It was honestly like watching a child, she just kept putting it on.



I give her a soft nod before leaning back against the wall.

"Where did you move here from?" she asks, her eyes on me as she massages the soap into her hands before sticking them under the water.

"The lovely Las Vegas..." I say a hint of sarcasm in my voice.

"You don't sound all that happy about it." She lets out a chuckle.

"Yeah, it wasn't really my scene." I shrug, looking down at my feet.



She nods turning off the water before walking towards the paper towel dispenser. "I've always wanted to go to Vegas, honestly. I've actually never Oregon state." She says shaking her head, drying off her hands. "So what brought you to Eugene?''

"I have some stuff going on so I moved in with my aunt." I say vaguely.

She nods, walking towards the door. "Follow me, Rylynn." She says pushing open the door before walking out.

I follow behind her closely, not wanting to lose sight of her, as she leads me through the cafeteria.

"Alright so before we get to the table, I have to warn you: my friends are sort of crazy..." she says, an embarrassed look on.

"What kind of crazy?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. "Mixing sodas crazy or shooting up the school crazy?'' I ask, letting out a soft laugh.

"Both." She says with a laugh before giving me a serious look.



I'm not sure whether or not I should be scared...

I bit my lip, following her as she makes her way through crowded tables to reach a door that led outside.

"Don't say I didn't warn you..." She sighs before pushing open the doors that led to the courtyard.

"You lose you f****ng ginger!" Those are the first words that I hear.



Yeah, I should most definitely be scared...



I look at the table in front of us to see two boys: a blond and a ginger. The two of them were arm wrestling.



Aubrey takes me by the arm, leading me closer to the table. We stop right in front of them. She looks between the two of them before letting go of my arm.

"Alright, boys, relax; I want you to meet someone. Please try not to scare her away." She says leaning over to separate the boys' hands.



They both look up at her before turning their attention on me.

"You're in my chemistry class..." the blond says softly, his blue eyes looking me over. He gives me a smile before standing up. He reaches his hand out to me to shake. "I'm Cooper." He smiles, showing off his sparkling white teeth.

"Rylynn." I smile awkwardly, giving his hand a quick shake before letting go.

"Awe, Cooper always such a gentlemen." The red haired boy smirks.

Cooper rolls his eyes, taking his attention away from me to him. "At least I am one..."

The red haired boy looks at Cooper shocked. "I am a gentlemen..." he scoffs. "To my lady." He smirks, pulling Aubrey by her arm and down into his lap.



Aubrey gives me a sympathetic look before mouthing a sorry to me.

"I'm sorry about Brayden..." Cooper says.



Oh so the ginger does have a name...

"He's extremely rude, it's because he lacks a soul... You'll get used to it though..." Cooper smirks, sitting back down to where he once was.

"I do have a soul, in fact tons." He says. "You see all of these?" he asks, pointing to the freckles that were scattered across his face. "Every single one is a soul that I have taken. And if you don't shut your pathetic face: I'll have a new one. And I already know where I'll put it." He says his face serious.

"And where is that, Gingy?" Cooper asks, rolling his eyes.

"My left a** cheek."



I bite my lip, looking at him as I try to hold back a laugh. I apparently wasn't the only one to find this funny: Aubrey was practically laughing her a** off.

Cooper shakes his head before looking at me.

"Sit down." He smiles, patting the empty spot on the bench beside him.



I take a deep breath before sitting down, a soft smile on my face.

"Are you f****ng serious?" Brayden asks his eyes on my shirt. "She's a Disney fan." He groans, throwing his head back.



I look down at my shirt, blushing. I grab the sides of my jacket, pulling it around my body as an attempt to hide my shirt.

"Hey, don't talk sh** about Disney." A male's voice says.



I look up quickly, almost giving myself whiplash, just to see who the voice belonged to.



Damen.

"Yeah, didn't you cry while watching Bambi just last week?" Aubrey asks him with a smirk as she slides off of his lap into the empty spot on the bench.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He mumbles, his face turning almost as red as his hair.



Aubrey rolls her eyes, smiling before looking over at Damen.

"This is Geneva, Damen..." She says, looking over at me. "She just moved here from Las Vegas."



I look up to see Damen's eyes already me. I look away quickly, my cheeks burning up.

"She's in your English class, I think..." she says, waiting for one of us to say something.

"Yeah, she is..." he says, sitting down on the other side of Brayden. I could still feel his eyes on me.

"That sucks, that means you're in there with Tori too..." Cooper says, shaking his head.

"She actually had the honors of sitting next to her." Damen says.

I look up to see him smirking.

"We'll pray for you..." Brayden says, faking sympathy.

"Speaking of Tori where is she?" Aubrey asks, sitting up straighter and turning her head to look around the courtyard.

"Probably sucking some jock's d***..." Cooper smirks.

"Hey, don't talk about Damen's woman like that." Brayden smirks, looking at Damen.

"We hooked up once, can't you guys just let it go." He groans, running his fingers through his black shaggy hair.



I look at him shocked. In English it seemed like he didn't want anything to do with her; let alone hook up with her.



But then again I guess we all have hook ups that we regret...

"Oh, but you're so fun to tease..." Brayden said, biting his lip.



Damen rolls his eyes, obviously done with this whole conversation.

I sat there quietly as they all talked to one another, putting in my word from time to time. I looked at Damen every once in awhile, to see him looking back at me as well.

God, he was handsome with his shaggy black hair and emerald green eyes, but I could tell there was something off about him.

I just couldn't tell what it was.

I look at each individual, smiling. I remember when I was like this with my own group of friends. Laughing, having inside jokes. But that was before everything had happened, before I ended it all.

I sometimes I wish I could go back and start all over, start over with everything; with my friends, with my family, with Shane...

But you don't always get what you want...

*flashback*

I tried to keep my eyes on the film playing on the large screen in front of me, but Shane obviously had other ideas.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder before pressing his lips to my neck, trying to get me to make out with him

"Quit it." I mumbled softly, moving away from him a bit

"C'mon, babe, don't be such a prude..." Shane whispered against my skin, kissing up to my ear before pulling it into his mouth and softly biting on it.

"Shane, stop, I'm trying to watch the movie." I grumbled, pushing his arm off of me with the use of my shoulders.

"God, you're no fun." He grumbled, leaning back in his own chair, his arms crossed across his chest, pouting like a child.

I looked at him, shaking my head.

This had been our whole relationship since the party that was only a week and a half ago. All he wanted to was sleep with me now, it was worse now than before.

But at least I had wanted to have sex with him then, I just wasn't ready, but now I had issues even looking at him.

I had loved Shane, but what he had done to me had ruined that.

I didn't even know how to break up with him, he would make me feel guilty, just like he had done with everything before.

I didn't know what would be worse; staying in a toxic relationship or leaving one.

I didn't even know that our relationship was toxic until what had happened. I should've seen the signs, but I was too foolish, too 'in love' to.

I sighed, my eyes looking back at the movie screen. I could feel him moving his arm back on my body, trying to go again.

"I said stop it!" I hissed at him, ready to leave the movie theater.

"Why the f*** are you acting this way? You used to love making out at the movies." He whispered loudly to me, obviously getting angry.

"Yeah, well, that was before you raped me, a****le!'' I said, my nostrils flaring.

This had been the first time I had accused him of raping me to his face since the party.

Or even said the word rape...

I didn't want to admit that it was rape, but now I realized that was exactly what it was.

"Raped you?" He huffed. "God you're so delirious. Couldn't you see that I was doing you a favor Rylynn? Before me you were just a prude virgin. You enjoyed it, now shut up." he said returning his eyes to the movie screen.

"I said no, Shane." I argued, tears forming in my eyes.

"It's not rape if we're dating, dumb a**." He said, not removing his eyes from the screen before throwing a handful of popcorn into his mouth. "Learn something, dumb a**."

"Shh.." Someone a few rows back hissed at us.

"You're a piece of s***." I said tears rolling down my cheek.

I stood up, getting ready to leave the theater. He grabbed my wrist, roughly pulling me back down in my chair.

"I paid for you to see this movie, so you're going to shut the f*** up and enjoy it." He growled in my ear, his grip on my arm growing tighter.

I sniffled softly, nodding.

I was too afraid to leave now, I didn't want him to hurt me or cause a big scene in front of everyone.

That would just be embarrassing.

"And stop crying." He snapped.

I nodded softly, wiping my tears as I tried to focus on the movie.

"God you're so pathetic." He said, shaking his head as he leaned back in the chair.

I held my breath, trying to stop my tears from flowing, but I couldn't. I couldn't stop thinking about how much he had hurt me. I couldn't believe that I had once loved this guy.

Was it even love? Or was it just me being a foolish teenager? Or was it fear of accepting the fact that he wasn't as amazing as I made him out to be so I put him on a pedestal, pretending he was perfect?

Whatever was, I regretted it more than anything else in my life.