Acitosh, The beginning | Teen Ink

Acitosh, The beginning

October 28, 2015
By wizad GOLD, lincon, Maine
More by this author
wizad GOLD, Lincon, Maine
10 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
Some say the world will end in fire<br /> some say in ice<br /> from what I have tasted of desire<br /> I hold with those who favor fire<br /> but if it had to perrish twice<br /> I think i know enough of hate<br /> that ice is also great<br /> and would suffice<br /> Fire and ice by robert Frost


Author's note:

i wanted to right a good story

When I awoke I was in a cave at the back of the cavern a torch was giving a dim light, I tried to get up but a firm hand pressed me down. “You must rest, after what you have been threw.” Said a gruff voice. “My name is Holfgar Iron Fist, from the Black Mountains of Jromasken,” he told me. “What happened?,” I ask. “The Fallen. They came to your village and destroyed it along with everyone inside, as if they where looking for something”. Holfgar answered, “some how you managed to summon something, and if you hadn't you would have died long before I got to you.” “What’s did I summon?” “I don't know but its time to find out, follow me.”
        He led me to a huge cavern about 30 feet till the other end, with an large hole in the center of the roof. other then the roof there was no there sources of light in the room, then I see in the very center of the room where the light landed, there was a pedestal, on that  pedestal was a huge ruby the size and shape of a dragons fang. This is the ruby of acitosh the lord of dragons. Now prick your palm on the ruby. Holfgar ordered. I did as he asked. A ring a fire suddenly appeared growing brighter and brighter until it was far to bright to see, i closed my eyes, then as suddenly as the flame came it was gone.
  At the head of the pedestal there was now a magnificent dragon. The scales of the dragon where the color of the reddest sunset with cracks running along his body the color of lava. With eyes like red the deepest ruby seemed to be made of fire. The jagged teeth where sharper and longer then the blade of my sword. The very size of it was astonishing It was the size of two horse pulled wagons in length and one in with, not counting the long tail with sharp ivory spikes running down its back from the bace of the wing to tip of its tail. Just being in the same area as the dragon you could feel its heat.
It turned its head toward me and I took a step back eye brows singed, for the massive dragon, so majestic, blew white hot fire came out of its nose. Then he spoke, In a deep voice.
“ mo, kaluluwa o tarragon. Soul of dragon, kaibigan mo magtatakda sa akin. You summon me. What do you need dragon kin?”
At this point Holfgar stepped forward and spoke in the same language as the dragon. “Kailangan namin ang iyong tulong, Lioth.” The powerful dragon looked away from me for the first time and spoke, this time in my language. “I will help you only if this warrior is bound to me.” “I will see” responded Holfgar. He turned to me, “do you want Lioth to be your partner at arms?”
                                                                                                        

“What do you mean?” I ask for a third time. “Like I have already spoken to you about, everyone has a different part of a soul some have a soul of a dragon others have the soul of a wolf, or a phenix. you have a soul of a dragon and no single person has the same kaluluwa, or soul. Yours holds Lioth an strong and fierce warrior dragon, others have messenger dragons or healing dragons. Yours is a fire warrior, one of the strongest and rarest, in strength no other dragon can beat you in most cases, it is rivaled only with the shadow dragons. And if you had a shadow dragon I would have to kill you.” Holfgar said the last word with a bitterness.
“But why would you have to kill me? I questioned again. “Because Shadow dragons are bread to devour the souls of the Resistance, thats why they are one of the strongest dragons to ever walk the Earth, they are one of the fastest to fly the sky, because of the souls they devour.” At that he walked off, away from me pointing me in the direction of the Dragon Dens.
Ok just to make something clear, there is a different name for every sleeping locations. The ones with phenixes is called, the Phenix Nests. The dragons, Dragons Den, and the Coranots (werewolf's) live in the Wolfs den. I learned the hard way that most mortals had it backwards. They are normal wolves, that can turn in to a humanoid creature with sharp claws and fangs of silver. The ones here are not the black, evil human eating monsters of legend, the ones here range from white to brown to grey, there is even silver furred wolves. And each serve a deferent warrior.
When I got to the Dragons Den, Lioth was waiting for me. “welcome draak ziel, or welcome dragon soul, you have made a decision then?” “Yes I have Lioth,
ik accepteer.” I said the last to words in the tongue of dragon. For it is a language in which you can never lie.

Chapter 2
The River of Blood


Holfgar

“Holfgar you must rest, the world will not be destroyed while you sleep.” Izan, Holfgar’s second in command, told him. “you will not be any good to us by getting your self killed because of you being to tired to lift your blade.” He tried to convince Holfgar. “Very well I will rest, how ever you are to wake me up when the moon reaches its highest peak do you under stand, if you fail to do so I will have you whipped” Though it is only an hour until then, Izan consented to it. Very well lord I will wake you in an hours time, now rest.
It was not the fall of the Resistance Holfgar was worried about, it was the dreams, That has hunted him for 3 years, but sleep claimed him the second his head touched the pillow.
“It is no use fighting Holfgar, you know you where born to lead the Fallen. So why do you fight?, Let me show you what you can do” The Images inside his mind changed. He now stood along the banks of a river. This river is called the Dugo River, or the blood river. 
In his hands was a demonyo. A jagged blade made for ripping flesh, this had an Iron blade and a scull carved into the hilt. Holfgar dropped the evil weapon with a shout, it was his fathers blade, the blade of the Fallen Lord, Masama, his very name is evil. He looked at his around he was not alone, Amara his mother looked at him, and spoke not in her voice but in his fathers, who he had killed three years ago.
“My soul will not rest until the Fallen have a new lord and that will not happen until you are either killed or you join us and take up my sword. I can promise you that if you join us you will not be killed by the Fallen I have experience it.” Holfgar has heard this next part before, he knew what is coming. “Until then you will relive the experience you had the night you killed me, every night.”
The surroundings shifted then the river Dugo was red with blood pouring from battle, the sounds of screaming and clashing metal could be heard, then someone spoke behind me. “Did you think you could run Holfgar? Its time for you to chose, you have hated my ways, but I am your only family, will you betray your father or will you stay and aid me in world domination?” Holfgar turned, it was indeed his father, this moment he has relived every day sense the day his father died.
“You where never my true father, I have never loved you. You are the reason my mothers dead! You are full of greed with a hart cold as ice. I will end this fight once and for all!” Holfgar drew his sword a smooth blade of polished steel with a ruby in the crest of the blade. I charged, he must have not expected me to be so suicidal, I ran my blade threw him.
He looked at me and spoke. “Until you are dead or have joined us i will haunt you in your dreams. You will never escape me.” Then he steamed and turned to tar, leaving my blade no longer flawless steel, polished until it shined, a ruined gray, the red ruby now blood red as if it drank in the darkness.
Holfgar bolted upright, as a pounding sounded on his door. “Master it is time to awake, as you have asked.” Izan reported. “And the Resistance has not been destroyed.” He joked. Holfgar wiped his head. “How much longer until it is time to go to the training grounds?” Holfgar asked. “One hour” Izan replied, “I tried to wake you up sooner but you didn't respond, I have been trying for at least two hours.”
Holfgar was surprised, though he shouldn't have been. “Have you been up all night Izan?”, Holfgar knew Izan was his most loyal follower, who would follow him to impyerno, death and back. “Yes my lord, but I am still well enough to help with training.” He tried to hide it but Holfgar could hear the tiredness in his voice. “No Izan I want you to rest, call for Sorin, we will be fine and tell him that he will be helping me with training and to get my dragon Ator.”

The author's comments:
it is roland speaking

Holfgar was waiting for him with Lioth and a different dragon, this dragon was different then Lioth. Instead of warm red colored scales, the other dragon’s scales felt colder then ice when you looked at them, it seemed to have a blue radiance surrounding it, its color was a deep blue, a blue of the deepest ocean,its underbelly was the color of ice. on its shoulders, chest back bone and elbows, was spikes of blue ice. His claws, teeth and wing spiked where jet black. The dragons eyes where the color of liquid gold. Whenever this dragon exhaled a wisp of frost came out of his nose.

When I approached Holfgar introduced me to the dragon. “This is my dragon Ator, he is a mix breed, his father was a mix breed, as well. This dragon is a combination of all cold elements. He is ice,frost,ocean and warrior, which makes him a Cold warrior.” He answered my unspoken question which was, what is he?

“These dragons could not be more alike in more different ways then other to dragons, both of them are extent symbols, but could not be more different. Mine is a symbol of cold, your is of heat. Your dragon is a mixed breed, also. He is a mix of lava, fire and heat he is a Heat warrior. Yours can either breath fire or the liquid version, lava. Mine can breath frost or the hardened version, ice.”
Holfgar explained. “Now we have talked enough, here is your training partner for today.

“Roland meet Sorin. He is here to spar with you, so I can see how good you are in a fight.” Holfgar pointed where he wanted them to stand, while the dragons eyed each other. Sorin’s dragon was a pure bread lightning. It’s scales where the color of steel, it was thicker then Lioths, turned upward to create spikes. The membrane on the dragon’s wings, glowed blue with electricity. The eyes where a glowing red, the dragon is about the same size of Lioth. Every once in a wile lines of blue lightning would race across the body of the dragon at random intervals.

“Ready stance,” called Holfgar. “And, begin!” Holfgar started the match. Sorin lashed out looking for an opening. We blocked and crossed hilts, using anything as a lever to gain an advantage. My foot hit a rock and hoping that it would hold in place as I changed position, my feet braced by the rock I used it to break away. He stumbled. When Sorin opened his eyes, my plain one hand blade was at his neck. “Very good Roland, follow me.”

I followed Holfgar to one of the buildings. By the light and the heat coming from the building I could tell that it was a forge. When we entered I could see thousands of different swords, There was hundreds of deferent, great swards, war hammers and battle axes. there was countless bows, and a thousand quivers full of arrows.

At the back of the room there was armor. On one wall there was racks of different sized shields. on the other side there was stands of, iron, steel, and studded leather. For differed ranks he iron, the iron and steel had different shields already there. In the corner there where tunics, used for under the armer.

Holfgar led me to the racks of armor first, he gave me a set of standard iron armor with chain mail links where there was no Iron. Then he went to the sword rack, and after a few tries he did not like any of them in my hand. And I agreed, one was to heavy and one was to light. the last one was to small for my hand. Finely he took one of the rack, mumbling to him self This blade was unlike any I has ever saw.

It was an amazing blade. It had a darkened steel blade connecting to a hilt made of a strong gold and iron mix. The shaft was a hand and a half hilt. longer then the blade i had used to duel Sorin. And at the end of the shaft there was a holster that held a gem. It was a flawless ruby that glowed with magical power. When he handed me the blade it was not what I expected. the shaft was warm as if it was being heated by fire.

But other then that the blade was perfect for me, it’s not to light or heavy. the blade is not unbalanced; it is not to thick or thin. It is the blade of a leader. “Why have you given me this blade, I am not a ranking fighter?” Holfgar looked at me. “I need to tell you the what went on with that blade. It has a bloody history. It has killled countless of The Fallen, and once there leader.” I nearly dropped the blade with surprise. “But the leader of The Fallen was killed by you... Is this your blade?”

The leader of the Resistance looked at me, “It was mine before I advanced in rank and became the leader. I have every reason to give you this blade. You are new here and I forget that. You fight like a veteran that has been here for years. You learn to fight like us in ways that take others days and you learn them in a single lesson. You have a warrior dragon, and a good arm. You deserve the blade that killed Masama.” I could tell that he was holding something back, something he was not telling me.

“What are you keeping from me Holfgar?” The Warrior turned his head to me, looked me in the eye and told me to sit down it is a long story. I did and he began to speak.

“This is the story of Masama and his son. no one knew of his son. Well no one, who was good. Only the highest ranking officers of The Fallen knew. Masama wanted the child to be as cruel as him, but the boy had other ideas. One day he ran away, his fathers rage hunted him where ever he went. He was never safe. Until he crossed paths with a wounded warrior with a magnificent blade. The man had said that he was from The Resistance, that he was a ranking officer and asked if he had a ink and paper. The son did not, so the officer wrote on a flat faced stone, it had said.

To Kadvan leader of the Resistance the men you have sent to The Whispering Peaks have been killed only I survived, they are marching north to your emergency bace to ambush you. From Ganol. Then he told the son to take his blade and keep it. Use it as really that is was really from him. The son did as he was told. He was made an officer. He was the second in command in the Resistance. Until the Battle of the River of Blood. Where both the leader of the Fallen and the Resistance was killed. After Masama killed Kadvan the mans son and the second in command killed him. The magnificent blade once made of light steel, was blackened by the darkness in his fathers soul. That son became the leader of the Resistance and I am that son.”

The author's comments:
roland is speaking

1st of summers end.
It has been three moons sense Holfgar has told me that story and I have quickly advanced in rank now I am one of the ten generals of the Resistance. I have guards and now I can go on missions. Tomorrow I will lead an expedition of eighteen men, among the men there are ten strong ground troops, two mages and four dragon riders. one of the dragons is a fast flyer, two are small stalkers, one blends in perfectly with the tree’s it is named Rokon and the other blends into the rock who’s name is Gragin the two are brothers, there size makes it harder to see. The last dragon is a warrior she is a air dragon. the last two are highly skilled healers. It is the largest force I have ever commanded, and it is needed. For we are to embark to the whispering peaks. It has been fifteen years after the Fallen have captured the mountain, fifteen years after the fallen massacred the Resistance troops stationed there.

2nd of Summers end

With me leading the troops at point fallowed by Lioth we are setting of for the peaks.

The mountains are looming over us. I have sent the mountain stalker and his rider to investigate and to see if the way was clear.

3rd of Summers end

The mountain stalker has yet to return we will give the stalker and the rider until night fall to return before we send two ground troops to investigate. I must fallow orders, if these troops go missing too then I will have to abort the mission.
End of log
As the two scouts returned when they saw me they ran even faster in my direction. “General you must come immediately. we have found the dragon but no evidence of the rider and the dragon is injured.” Followed by the two healers and the other dragon stalker. I left Lioth behind to guard the camp until I returned.

When we got to a rocky clearing with mounds of fallen rock from the surrounding mountains I realized why the dragon would come here. There is nothing but rock and gravel, and when he curls up he looks exactly like a mound of gravel and rocks. And his short flexible horns looked like tree roots when he tucked his head under his tail. The perfect hiding place. Then there he was, but he was not curled up. The ground was sizzling where the hot dragons blood met the cold stone. The healers rushed forward while I stood back to guard them.

It was some time before the healers returned. “I am sorry Roland, we are the second strongest mages and healers in the Resistance and not even we can heal Rokon.” Holfgar had told me that this might happen, he told me what to do for a passing dragon. “It is ok I know you did all you could.” Then I turned to Gragin and his rider. “Go back to camp and tell Lioth to come. You stay I don't want to put you threw this.” Gragin knowing what I meant was off in a streak of woodlands green.

“Lioth you must come quick! Roland has need of you for my brother.” Lioth looked at Gragin annoyed for awaking the dogs who have finely stopped barking in his ears. “If he has need of me then he can come.” It struck Gragin that Lioth did not yet know that Rokon was passing. So when Gragin told Lioth that Roland was busy preparing the rights for his brother they set off as soon as Gragin finished.



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This book has 6 comments.


wizad GOLD said...
on Dec. 1 2015 at 7:50 am
wizad GOLD, Lincon, Maine
10 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
Some say the world will end in fire<br /> some say in ice<br /> from what I have tasted of desire<br /> I hold with those who favor fire<br /> but if it had to perrish twice<br /> I think i know enough of hate<br /> that ice is also great<br /> and would suffice<br /> Fire and ice by robert Frost

and my names not wizard its wizad

wizad GOLD said...
on Nov. 13 2015 at 7:41 am
wizad GOLD, Lincon, Maine
10 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
Some say the world will end in fire<br /> some say in ice<br /> from what I have tasted of desire<br /> I hold with those who favor fire<br /> but if it had to perrish twice<br /> I think i know enough of hate<br /> that ice is also great<br /> and would suffice<br /> Fire and ice by robert Frost

ok that was not me who posted the comment above

on Nov. 11 2015 at 12:57 pm
ThisEmilyDa1 SILVER, BF, New Mexico
6 articles 0 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile<br /> -Albert Instien<br /> the only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.

Okay. So, um, you'll probably think this comment sounds mean but I promise I'm not trying to be mean. I read the first chapter and this is what I have to say about it, I might read more later. You need to work on your grammar and spelling. In the authors note parts capitalize "i" and make your "right" into "write". Besides that there were a bunch of grammatical flaws that made the story hard to read and follow. When a new person is talking: start a new paragraph for them, and make sure that when the characters are talking you put quotation marks around their sentances. That would make it better to read. Also for grammar and spelling, make sure you use the correct words. For example you said "threw" in the first paragraph and I think you meant "through". Pay attention to those kinds of things, proof read more. Don't get me wrong, no ones perfect, I barely proof read most of my stuff on this paticular sight as well. But I think proper grammar is much more important for a novel. Next, I would say you seem to be going a little...fast? Like first he wakes up and the next few paragraphs he's already learning about some ruby tooth and his "soul" it was confusing. You didn't really say much at all about what happened in his town. Maybe a flashback would help? Make your story more gripping t the beginning. Don't throw the basic info, or the important things at the main charecter in the first three paragraphs or first chapter! Make the reader want more, make him wonder what's going on. Readers like to think and guess, they like little cliff hangers and stuff like that. Plus I think it would be easier to understand if you made the descriptions of why and when (like the discription at the end about souls) more clear; again, grammar would also help with that. So I guess ON THAT PERSPECTIVE it seemed a little bland. I think this could be very very good with a little bit of work though. The only other thing I'd say is that when you described the dragon, you seemed to describe him in more detail then every thing else. Like, you didn't describe the cave very much, or the ruby, or the room, or half gar. Does that make sense? I hope it makes sense, you don't need to over describe, but make sure you do it a bit more evenly. The things I LIKED are this. I liked how you words like majestic and astonishing. I don't know why, but they just seemed to fit really well. I think this story is a great idea, you made it very original. Which is hard to do, many fantasy stories follow a sort of same story line and concept. As far as I could see (I only read the first chapter) your idea seemed creative and original. So again: I think this could be a GREAT, fascinating story, but it needs some work too.

wizad GOLD said...
on Nov. 9 2015 at 7:58 pm
wizad GOLD, Lincon, Maine
10 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
Some say the world will end in fire<br /> some say in ice<br /> from what I have tasted of desire<br /> I hold with those who favor fire<br /> but if it had to perrish twice<br /> I think i know enough of hate<br /> that ice is also great<br /> and would suffice<br /> Fire and ice by robert Frost

Great descriptions Wizard, cant wait to read more!!!

on Nov. 9 2015 at 11:17 am
Wannabenovelist, Lincoln, Nebraska
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments
I think the discreption of this story is as far as I've gotton and its good

wizad GOLD said...
on Nov. 4 2015 at 11:08 am
wizad GOLD, Lincon, Maine
10 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
Some say the world will end in fire<br /> some say in ice<br /> from what I have tasted of desire<br /> I hold with those who favor fire<br /> but if it had to perrish twice<br /> I think i know enough of hate<br /> that ice is also great<br /> and would suffice<br /> Fire and ice by robert Frost

do you like it