“Goodness, Susanna, what are you doing talking to the help? Come along now, you have to witness the Earl exiting his carriage!” It was my mother who was nothing but ecstatic. She pushed me through the crowd of my close family members and servants until I could see Hugh. I gasped and shuddered at the thought of standing next to him as my mother pushed me along. “Stop dragging your feet and act like a proper lady, Susanna!” She scolded. She left me when I was put next to Hugh. I felt him look at me but I stared forward, pretending to be anywhere else. The trumpets blared as the arrival of the Earl of Bernard Manor was announced. I tried thinking of ways to get out of that situation. I could fake sick… hmm, that might actually work. As the trumpets reached the climax of their song, Hugh’s father stepped out of his carriage. The sound quickly ceased as the other carriages holding the rest of Royals arrived. Everyone filed out and gave greetings.
The air was filled with polite how-do-you-do and nice-to-meet-you. I felt so claustrophobic. I was suffocating while groups of people flocked around me blissfully unaware. I felt an arm go around my back and wrap around my sore waist. I flinched and looked up to see Hugh smiling down at me. “Susanna, I would like for you to meet my father, the Earl of Bernard Manor.”
“Oh Hugh, you can spare her the spiel. Miss Susanna, I have heard so many good things about you from Hugh. I am amazed we have yet to meet. I apologize I was not at the seasonal ball where you two met. But I am glad to meet you now, my dear.” He kissed my hand. I was surprised because it was rare for a royal Earl to show that amount of respect toward a non-Royal.
“The pleasure is mine, sir. I am also very delighted to meet you.” I responded more fluently than expected. I pushed through a painful curtsey and looked back at the Earl.
The Earl laughed briefly. “My, Hugh, you really know how to choose ‘em!” He shouted and playfully slapped his son on the back. Hugh winced in pain. The Earl seemed nice enough. When I first met Hugh I could tell he was a pompous bastard but I did not get this feeling from the Earl. I could not imagine how that friendly of a man could raise a child who turned out to be such a monster. After an hour of exchanging pleasantries with random people (whose names I forgot as soon as they were said) the dinner gong rang and people started shuffling inside. All the while these discussions were happening, Hugh was by my side. He would not remove his arm from being around me. If I did manage to unravel myself from him, he would hold my hand. I was so disgusted. The man whom an hour before had abused me was standing around like nothing was different. He acted as if we were two people in love who could not resist being apart. I was broken but I had to keep myself from falling apart and the evening had hardly started.
Inside the dining room, two huge wooden tables stood holding a banquet of food. The upper Royal family members were to sit at the table closest to the main doors. The opposing table held my family and the lower class Royals such as distant cousins and nephews of the Earl. Tens of male servants walked around bearing blank faces and holding silver trays full of drinks and small plates. Because the announcement regarded Hugh and me, we sat at the upper class table next to each other. I was in a stuffy room with a big dress on sitting at a table with Royal strangers. And to top it off, he was sitting right next to me.
The 6 course meal included salad, fish, a large meat course, a wine tasting course, dessert, and finally a course that contained only fruits and sliced vegetables. The last course’s purpose was mainly to wash away the taste of the gluttonous amount of food eaten. I picked at my salad and gripped my abdomen. I ached so badly. It hurt sitting for too long so I was constantly squirming in my chair. A few Royals including Hugh had glanced at me during the night. Hugh eventually leaned over and said to me... “Are you quite alright, my love? You keep moving around in your chair as if you are uncomfortable.” I almost vomited up what little I had eaten just by being that close to him. I hated being near him. I hated how he could do anything he wanted because of his blood line. And I most of all hated how I couldn't report him because it would ruin his family and their servants’ lives. I couldn't do that to everyone because of what that one monster did. I couldn't be that selfish.
“In fact, Hugh, I do not feel alright at all. I’m afraid I might be sick,” I responded. I was hoping so much that I could be excused to go lay down or die.
He threw his body back a little as if he were trying to get away from me. “Sick? Do you think it was something you ate? Oh, if one of those chefs under cooked something, I shall fire them immediately. Nobody shall hurt you, my darling.” I couldn't believe what I was hearing. But I decided I could use his madness to my advantage.
Under cooked? We are eating the salad course! “I don’t think it was something I ate…dear,” I started, “But I would very much like to-“
“Attention all, attention!” The Earl said. He was tapping a knife against his champagne glass as he stood up. “I would like to congratulate my son, Hugh, on his betrothal to Miss Susanna.” A few unknowing guests gasped, other politely clapped, and the rest raised their glasses. I looked around for Gael. I had hoped she could have given me a look of support or promise but I had forgotten that only footmen were allowed to serve the Royals. I fell deeper into despair as yet another piece of my life became worse. “My son, rise with your fiancée and take a bow!” Hugh stood first and bowed. He looked to me and expected me to be doing the same but I was still looking for Gael hopelessly. Some people chuckled behind their glasses and Hugh grabbed my hand tightly but softly pulled me up. I looked up at the Earl and quickly curtseyed. “To my son and his up and coming wife; cheers.” He raised his glass and the guests did the same. We sat back down as the next course was served. The sudden smell of fish that filled the air made me have to choke back my salad.
I said Hugh’s name to grab his attention. He quickly spun his head towards me in concern. “What is it, my dearest one?”
“Hugh, I need to lay down. Or else I am going to be sick here in front of your family.” I hoped that would convince him. He pondered for a moment as I clutched my mid-section in anticipation and ache.
He sighed. “I will call for a footman to escort you to your chambers but come back when you are feeling well again. If you want this dinner to go off plan, which it will if you fail to return, then you shall face the consequence later.” He had been grabbing my forearm under the table; giving me a warning.
“Thank you, Hugh. Truly.” I responded. It hurt to thank him when he was the one who made me hurt in the first place. I did not care, though. I was getting out of that dinner; even though it was temporary.
Hugh called for an escort as he warned me to get better quickly. I practically ran down to my chamber. The escort left once I was delivered. I immediately pulled the rope to get a maid (hopefully Gael) into my room. Seconds later, Gael trotted into my room. “Oh miss, I was worrying about you all through dinner. I’m so glad you rang. As soon as you did I didn't give any of the others girls a chance to stand up. Is there anything I could do for you, ma’am?” She rambled.
I took a breath to respond but I got a wave of nausea and I ran to the bathroom. After and unpleasant time getting rid of my dinner, (multiple times), I asked what the time was from Gael.
“It is 8:34, ma’am.” I moaned in frustration and dread. I had been gone for almost 50 minutes.
“He’s going to kill me, Gael.”
“He won’t kill you ma’am. In fact I may know of a way to get you out of sleeping in his bed tonight,” Once the announcement of the marriage is made, an old tradition dictates that the betrothed are to sleep in the same bed for one night to test their abstinence. Of course Hugh would
“Goodness, Susanna, what are you doing talking to the help? Come along now, you have to witness the Earl exiting his carriage!” It was my mother who was nothing but ecstatic. She pushed me through the crowd of my close family members and servants until I could see Hugh. I gasped and shuddered at the thought of standing next to him as my mother pushed me along. “Stop dragging your feet and act like a proper lady, Susanna!” She scolded. She left me when I was put next to Hugh. I felt him look at me but I stared forward, pretending to be anywhere else. The trumpets blared as the arrival of the Earl of Bernard Manor was announced. I tried thinking of ways to get out of that situation. I could fake sick… hmm, that might actually work. As the trumpets reached the climax of their song, Hugh’s father stepped out of his carriage. The sound quickly ceased as the other carriages holding the rest of Royals arrived. Everyone filed out and gave greetings.
The air was filled with polite how-do-you-do and nice-to-meet-you. I felt so claustrophobic. I was suffocating while groups of people flocked around me blissfully unaware. I felt an arm go around my back and wrap around my sore waist. I flinched and looked up to see Hugh smiling down at me. “Susanna, I would like for you to meet my father, the Earl of Bernard Manor.”
“Oh Hugh, you can spare her the spiel. Miss Susanna, I have heard so many good things about you from Hugh. I am amazed we have yet to meet. I apologize I was not at the seasonal ball where you two met. But I am glad to meet you now, my dear.” He kissed my hand. I was surprised because it was rare for a royal Earl to show that amount of respect toward a non-Royal.
“The pleasure is mine, sir. I am also very delighted to meet you.” I responded more fluently than expected. I pushed through a painful curtsey and looked back at the Earl.
The Earl laughed briefly. “My, Hugh, you really know how to choose ‘em!” He shouted and playfully slapped his son on the back. Hugh winced in pain. The Earl seemed nice enough. When I first met Hugh I could tell he was a pompous bastard but I did not get this feeling from the Earl. I could not imagine how that friendly of a man could raise a child who turned out to be such a monster. After an hour of exchanging pleasantries with random people (whose names I forgot as soon as they were said) the dinner gong rang and people started shuffling inside. All the while these discussions were happening, Hugh was by my side. He would not remove his arm from being around me. If I did manage to unravel myself from him, he would hold my hand. I was so disgusted. The man whom an hour before had abused me was standing around like nothing was different. He acted as if we were two people in love who could not resist being apart. I was broken but I had to keep myself from falling apart and the evening had hardly started.
Inside the dining room, two huge wooden tables stood holding a banquet of food. The upper Royal family members were to sit at the table closest to the main doors. The opposing table held my family and the lower class Royals such as distant cousins and nephews of the Earl. Tens of male servants walked around bearing blank faces and holding silver trays full of drinks and small plates. Because the announcement regarded Hugh and me, we sat at the upper class table next to each other. I was in a stuffy room with a big dress on sitting at a table with Royal strangers. And to top it off, he was sitting right next to me.
The 6 course meal included salad, fish, a large meat course, a wine tasting course, dessert, and finally a course that contained only fruits and sliced vegetables. The last course’s purpose was mainly to wash away the taste of the gluttonous amount of food eaten. I picked at my salad and gripped my abdomen. I ached so badly. It hurt sitting for too long so I was constantly squirming in my chair. A few Royals including Hugh had glanced at me during the night. Hugh eventually leaned over and said to me... “Are you quite alright, my love? You keep moving around in your chair as if you are uncomfortable.” I almost vomited up what little I had eaten just by being that close to him. I hated being near him. I hated how he could do anything he wanted because of his blood line. And I most of all hated how I couldn’t report him because it would ruin his family and their servants’ lives. I couldn’t do that to everyone because of what that one monster did. I couldn’t be that selfish.
“In fact, Hugh, I do not feel alright at all. I’m afraid I might be sick,” I responded. I was hoping so much that I could be excused to go lay down or die.
He threw his body back a little as if he were trying to get away from me. “Sick? Do you think it was something you ate? Oh, if one of those chefs under cooked something, I shall fire them immediately. Nobody shall hurt you, my darling.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. But I decided I could use his madness to my advantage.
Undercooked? We are eating the salad course! “I don’t think it was something I ate…dear,” I started, “But I would very much like to-“
“Attention all, attention!” The Earl said. He was tapping a knife against his champagne glass as he stood up. “I would like to congratulate my son, Hugh, on his betrothal to Miss Susanna.” A few unknowing guests gasped, other politely clapped, and the rest raised their glasses. I looked around for Gael. I had hoped she could have given me a look of support or promise but I had forgotten that only footmen were allowed to serve the Royals. I fell deeper into despair as yet another piece of my life became worse. “My son, rise with your fiancée and take a bow!” Hugh stood first and bowed. He looked to me and expected me to be doing the same but I was still looking for Gael hopelessly. Some people chuckled behind their glasses and Hugh grabbed my hand tightly but softly pulled me up. I looked up at the Earl and quickly curtseyed. “To my son and his up and coming wife; cheers.” He raised his glass and the guests did the same. We sat back down as the next course was served. The sudden smell of fish that filled the air made me have to choke back my salad.
I said Hugh’s name to grab his attention. He quickly spun his head towards me in concern. “What is it, my dearest one?”
“Hugh, I need to lay down. Or else I am going to be sick here in front of your family.” I hoped that would convince him. He pondered for a moment as I clutched my mid-section in anticipation and ache.
He sighed. “I will call for a footman to escort you to your chambers but come back when you are feeling well again. If you want this dinner to go off plan, which it will if you fail to return, then you shall face the consequence later.” He had been grabbing my forearm under the table; giving me a warning.
“Thank you, Hugh. Truly.” I responded. It hurt to thank him when he was the one who made me hurt in the first place. I did not care, though. I was getting out of that dinner; even though it was temporary.
Hugh called for an escort as he warned me to get better quickly. I practically ran down to my chamber. The escort left once I was delivered. I immediately pulled the rope to get a maid (hopefully Gael) into my room. Seconds later, Gael trotted into my room. “Oh miss, I was worrying about you all through dinner. I’m so glad you rang. As soon as you did I didn’t give any of the others girls a chance to stand up. Is there anything I could do for you, ma’am?” She rambled.
I took a breath to respond but I got a wave of nausea and I ran to the bathroom. After and unpleasant time getting rid of my dinner, (multiple times), I asked what the time was from Gael.
“It is 8:34, ma’am.” I moaned in frustration and dread. I had been gone for almost 50 minutes.
“He’s going to kill me, Gael.”
“He won’t kill you ma’am. In fact I may know of a way to get you out of sleeping in his bed tonight,” Once the announcement of the marriage is made, an old tradition dictates that the betrothed are to sleep in the same bed for one night to test their abstinence. Of course Hugh wouldn't have hesitated. He’d already proven that…
I looked at her in desperation. “What? How? Tell me!”
“Ma’am, have you ever noticed how much Sir Hugh hates coughing? He has always been very uncomfortable with sick people. Did he do anything when you said you felt sick?”
“Um…yes. Yes he did actually. He flinched away from me in disgust.”
“If you tell him that you have been sick all night, and maybe cough on him, you should be able to sleep alone tonight.”
I thought about that plan for a moment. “I would have to make it convincing.” She looked me over.
“No offense miss, but I do not think that will be difficult.”
I rushed back into the dining area just as the wine-tasting course was being served. Tall, round, short, and fat glasses of varying colored wine stood on both tables. Hugh looked at me as soon as I walked into the room. I walked back to my chair as silently as I could. I sat down with Hugh staring at me.
“Where on God’s green Earth have you been? You have been gone for an hour! I thought I told you to get back here as soon as possible!” He loudly whispered to me. His breath smelled heavily of wine, although he never wavered in his speech.
I looked around for anyone who might have been witnessing his temper-tantrum, but no one seemed to care enough to look our way. “I’m sorry, dear, I was sick as I told you! I’m still not feeling as well as I should be…” I coughed three or four times right near him as I finished my explanation. He recoiled back and hugged himself to get away from me. He looked me over in repugnance.
He sighed long and hard. “Well,” he started, “if you are to be sick all night, sleeping in the same bed will do neither of us any good,” I tried hard to hide my joy as our plan started coming together. “But Susanna, you very much are pushing your luck with me today. You’re lucky I do not reprimand you tonight for your behavior and your disability to keep yourself well.” He finished.
“I agree that we shouldn't sleep in the same bed tonight. I mean, I wouldn't want to get you sick.” He visibly shuddered at the thought. I coughed a few more times during the wine course. A few guests looked at me with either worry or disgust. I caught Hugh glaring at me a few times during the dessert course. Finally, after he couldn't take being near my forced coughing any longer, Hugh stood up an announced, “Excuse me, everyone, but I am afraid my fiancée has fallen ill this evening and we must depart before we finish this fine meal.” Hugh’s father nodded to him and he gave me a sympathetic look. A few people stood up and shook Hugh’s hand. Nobody dared to touch me with a ten foot pole.
After polite good-byes were said, Hugh called for an escort for us. He scolded the footmen appointed to us when he led us to the master bedroom. “What do you think you’re doing? Did you not hear that my wife is sick? Lead her to her own separate room immediately.” Hugh was such a confusing man. One minute he threatens to hit me in front of his family and the next he coddles me. I didn't argue. Hugh entered his room and slammed the doors shut dramatically. I was taken back to my room where I changed into sleep-wear and pulled the rope. To my surprise, the Ladies’ maid that came wasn't Gael.
“How can I help you, Miss Susanna?” the mousy girl said. “Could you fetch me something for pain? An aspirin perhaps?” She quickly nodded and scurried off. I undid my hair from its numbingly tight up-do and laid down with a wince. The maid quickly returned with two aspirins and a glass of water. She set it on the side table. “Will that be all miss?” she asked. I nodded as I swallowed the pills. I looked at the wall clock. It was 10:26. The dinner would be ending soon. Although my mind begged for sleep, my body wouldn’t allow it. I burned, ached, and shuddered whenever I would start to doze. My mind kept replaying the attack over and over again like a broken record. It was midnight when I couldn’t hear anymore guests. Everyone had left from the drawing room after dinner. I let out a small breath to try and calm myself. If anything, I was in the best case scenario right then.
I was sleeping alone, the house was dulled with the vacant guests, and my aspirin had begun to set in. I looked around my dimmed room for any sign of movement. I adjusted myself to a laying position as best as I could without wincing and tried to get some sleep. I must’ve fallen asleep at some point because I remember the dream I had. There was me and Hugh standing in the dining room surrounded by party guests and my parents. I was shaking and terrified as Hugh stood in front of me. He was doing nothing but looking at me. I was wearing my torn up robe that I wore when he raped me. I looked as I did before Gael had made me look presentable. I felt the burning desire to scream but I couldn't. My forehead was wet with perspiration and I felt cold. The guests were talking to each other politely as we stood there. They would wave to Hugh and he would smile and nod but it was as if they didn't see me. I starting looking around frantically when my eyes fell on Gael who was sitting in a corner with her head in her hands repeating “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” over and over again. It felt like I was having a heart attack. My head flung forward from the sweat drenched pillow as I started to scream in my dream. As it turned out, I was screaming in my room because I had to stop myself before I woke anybody up. I had broken a sweat in the night and it wasn’t long until I felt pain rush into my body like that’s what its job was. I plopped my head back down as I laid on my back and rubbed my mid-section. And then I started crying. It was a soft whimper that slowly turned into tears and soon you couldn’t hear sound coming from my mouth as I cried. I curled into the fetal position.
n’t have hesitated. He’d already proven that…
I looked at her in desperation. “What? How? Tell me!”
“Ma’am, have you ever noticed how much Sir Hugh hates coughing? He has always been very uncomfortable with sick people. Did he do anything when you said you felt sick?”
“Um…yes. Yes he did actually. He flinched away from me in disgust.”
“If you tell him that you have been sick all night, and maybe cough on him, you should be able to sleep alone tonight.”
I thought about that plan for a moment. “I would have to make it convincing.” She looked me over.
“No offense miss, but I do not think that will be difficult.”
I rushed back into the dining area just as the wine-tasting course was being served. Tall, round, short, and fat glasses of varying colored wine stood on both tables. Hugh looked at me as soon as I walked into the room. I walked back to my chair as silently as I could. I sat down with Hugh staring at me.
“Where on God’s green Earth have you been? You have been gone for an hour! I thought I told you to get back here as soon as possible!” He loudly whispered to me. His breath smelled heavily of wine, although he never wavered in his speech.
I looked around for anyone who might have been witnessing his temper-tantrum, but no one seemed to care enough to look our way. “I’m sorry, dear, I was sick as I told you! I’m still not feeling as well as I should be…” I coughed three or four times right near him as I finished my explanation. He recoiled back and hugged himself to get away from me. He looked me over in repugnance.
He sighed long and hard. “Well,” he started, “if you are to be sick all night, sleeping in the same bed will do neither of us any good,” I tried hard to hide my joy as our plan started coming together. “But Susanna, you very much are pushing your luck with me today. You’re lucky I do not reprimand you tonight for your behavior and your disability to keep yourself well.” He finished.
“I agree that we shouldn’t sleep in the same bed tonight. I mean, I wouldn’t want to get you sick.” He visibly shuddered at the thought. I coughed a few more times during the wine course. A few guests looked at me with either worry or disgust. I caught Hugh glaring at me a few times during the dessert course. Finally, after he couldn’t take being near my forced coughing any longer, Hugh stood up an announced, “Excuse me, everyone, but I am afraid my fiancée has fallen ill this evening and we must depart before we finish this fine meal.” Hugh’s father nodded to him and he gave me a sympathetic look. A few people stood up and shook Hugh’s hand. Nobody dared to touch me with a ten foot pole.
After polite good-byes were said, Hugh called for an escort for us. He scolded the footmen appointed to us when he led us to the master bedroom. “What do you think you’re doing? Did you not hear that my wife is sick? Lead her to her own separate room immediately.” Hugh was such a confusing man. One minute he threatens to hit me in front of his family and the next he coddles me. I didn’t argue. Hugh entered his room and slammed the doors shut dramatically. I was taken back to my room where I changed into sleep-wear and pulled the rope. To my surprise, the Ladies’ maid that came wasn’t Gael.
“How can I help you, Miss Susanna?” the mousy girl said. “Could you fetch me something for pain? An aspirin perhaps?” She quickly nodded and scurried off. I undid my hair from its numbingly tight up-do and laid down with a wince. The maid quickly returned with two aspirins and a glass of water. She set it on the side table. “Will that be all miss?” she asked. I nodded as I swallowed the pills. I looked at the wall clock. It was 10:26. The dinner would be ending soon. Although my mind begged for sleep, my body wouldn’t allow it. I burned, ached, and shuddered whenever I would start to doze. My mind kept replaying the attack over and over again like a broken record. It was midnight when I couldn’t hear anymore guests. Everyone had left from the drawing room after dinner. I let out a small breath to try and calm myself. If anything, I was in the best case scenario right then.
I was sleeping alone, the house was dulled with the vacant guests, and my aspirin had begun to set in. I looked around my dimmed room for any sign of movement. I adjusted myself to a laying position as best as I could without wincing and tried to get some sleep. I must’ve fallen asleep at some point because I remember the dream I had. There was me and Hugh standing in the dining room surrounded by party guests and my parents. I was shaking and terrified as Hugh stood in front of me. He was doing nothing but looking at me. I was wearing my torn up robe that I wore when he raped me. I looked as I did before Gael had made me look presentable. I felt the burning desire to scream but I couldn’t. My forehead was wet with perspiration and I felt cold. The guests were talking to each other politely as we stood there. They would wave to Hugh and he would smile and nod but it was as if they didn’t see me. I starting looking around frantically when my eyes fell on Gael who was sitting in a corner with her head in her hands repeating “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” over and over again. It felt like I was having a heart attack. My head flung forward from the sweat drenched pillow as I started to scream in my dream. As it turned out, I was screaming in my room because I had to stop myself before I woke anybody up. I had broken a sweat in the night and it wasn’t long until I felt pain rush into my body like that’s what its job was. I plopped my head back down as I laid on my back and rubbed my mid-section. And then I started crying. It was a soft whimper that slowly turned into tears and soon you couldn't hear sound coming from my mouth as I cried. I curled into the fetal position.

Without moving my head, I glanced at a wall clock after 20 minutes of dry-heaving and crying. I read 6:02. I looked away from the clock and began to think about my day. What is he going to do today? What if he barges in here? What if he attacks me again? Will it happen again? Should I tell anyone?
That last question stuck in my mind. It sat in my head and burned me like a raging fire. If I told anyone who had power…well, I don’t know what they’d do. I don’t know if they would accuse me of lying, hit me, or tell me it wasn’t what I thought it was. Or maybe they would believe me. Maybe they would drop to their knees and hold me as we both cried. But the question remained; what would they do?
I was so lost in my thoughts I had started to doze off again. My eyelids shot up to my doors opening. I quickly sat up and looked at the visitor. “Good morning, miss,” It was a Lady’s maid. One I did not recognize. She was holding a tray that carried orange juice, toast, and a covered dish. “I hope you are feeling better. The staff heard you were sick and had to leave your special dinner early. What a shame. To help get you well, the cooks made you a special breakfast.” She placed the tray in front of me. It stood high on its two legs so I wouldn’t have to reach far to eat. She lifted the cover to reveal a plate of fruits arranged into a beautiful wreath shape with a dish of yogurt in the middle.
“We hope this gets you back to feeling right as rain, milady.” I was still dazed from my torturous night of sleep that I was hardly aware of what she was saying. After staring at her for a few more seconds I quickly said, “Thank…” I cleared my throat, “Thank you.” She nodded and did a quick curtsey at the same time with a shining smile on her face. She walked out the doors and closed them behind her.
I looked at the tray in front of me and pondered whether or not I should eat. No food had stayed in my stomach within 12 hours and I would have to get stronger eventually. I picked up a green colored fruit from the tray and slowly bit it. Surprisingly, my body didn’t immediately reject it and throw it up. I worked my way through the plate slowly and eventually I ate every piece of fruit, a piece of toast, and all of my orange juice. I moved the tray to my side and try to stand up. I got a huge wave of dizziness that caused me to sit down on the edge of the bed. I put my head in my right hand and used my left one to reach for the rope.
A few seconds later, Gael trotted into my room. She quickly sat next to me and put her hands on my back. “Oh, poor Miss Susanna, how are we feeling today?” I shook my head in my hands and didn’t say a word. We sat there for a few minutes and Gael began rubbing my back, trying to comfort me. I eventually laid down as she sat. We remained in silence as I hid my face in my pillow.
“What am I going to do now, Gael?” I asked after a long time. She looked at me as I buried my face further into the pillow. She shook her head. We both flinched and gasped when the doors to my room opened. Hugh walked in.
“My God, Susanna, what are you doing letting the help sit on the furniture?” Gael quickly stood up.
“I-I’m sorry Mr. Bernard, I was trying to comfort your fiancée because she is under the weather.” Hugh looker at her in abhorrence. Gael quickly curtseyed and scurried out of the room. I didn’t move. I buried my face in that pillow like it would make me invisible. Hugh walked to my bed and I felt it sink as he sat down where Gael sat. I felt him touch my leg as he started to speak. “I am quite disappointed in you, Susanna,” he began “You’ve failed to keep up your presence at the dinner and you embarrassed yourself, my father, and most importantly, me.” He hissed.
Your father? I didn’t embarrass him! He was the nicest person in the room and he felt bad I was sick!
“I haven’t figured out yet if and how I am going to punish you,” He started to walk his fingers up and down my leg. I shivered. “But if I do,” He grabbed my shoulders and made me look at him, “know that it will be worse than the fun we had last night.” His eyes were dead-locked on mine. Our noses almost touched. I wanted to swear him out, to punch, kick, and scream but I knew I’d only be digging myself into a deeper hole.
After staring into my soul for a few seconds, Hugh dropped my shoulders bitterly and stood up. “Get dressed. You look horrible. Wear something nice, we’re going to luncheon with Mr. and Mrs. Gallehan, the bankers from the city.” I nodded as my chin quivered.
He looked at me and shook his head slightly. Then he turned, walked out the door, and shut them behind him. I let out air I didn’t know I was holding in. I noticed a bruise forming on my right cheek. I’m going to have to cover that up. I thought. I picked up the sheet on tossed them aside. I lobbed my legs over the bed and exhaled again. I looked down at my bruised legs sadly. I stood up and went to the bathroom. While bathing, I was not happy to finally be cleansed of the grime he made me feel all over because I knew all I was doing was throwing evidence down the drain. Literally. After I cleaned up, I pulled the rope to get a Lady’s maid to help me dress. The mousy girl who gave me aspirin the night before walked into my room. “Good morning, miss.”
“Good morning.” I said quietly. The mousy girl pulled a simple blue dress from the armoire along with the corset and a petticoat to wear outdoors. She helped me dress and then I sat down on the same chair I sat in the night before where I examined my hair brush. She pulled my hair into braids and pinned them up before I put on my hat and gloves. “Will that be all for you, my lady?” She asked. “Yes, thank you.” I responded numbly. She curtseyed and exited the room.
I stood by the doors to my room and clutched my midsection. I breathed in and exhaled hard once before stepping out of my room.